help struck with grief

[Zutie]

Hello Everyone,

It has been 4 weeks that since I broke off my relationship with a man that the Lord clearly showed me I was not to be with. He loves God, is intelligent, funny, sweet, earns good money and yet there were many "red flags' that God sent my way to make clear to me that I was not to be with this man. I knew at first with that gentle nudging of the Lord's voice but chose to ignore it thinking it couldn't be that he would not want me to be with this man. A year and a half later and the nudging was still there. I finally ended the relationship. As I made the decision to end the relationship I began to see that he was and is an addiction for me and I for him. BUT, the pain and grief is enormous, the emptyness is tiring. To call him and speak with him is like taking that hit, or drink. I find myself in grief, angry at times, and feeling lost.
I'm tired of being tired of these emotions. I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread, trying to find my life all over again. I feel distant from God no matter how close I try to get to Him.
I need support, I need to hear that I will be ok.......I need to hear that someone out there understands.

Zutie

[cmc]

Hi Zutie,
Nobody can understand us like Jesus and nobody can love us like God....Sometimes others can give us that understanding we need but I always know that He knows and cares for me and I know He cares for you the same way.
The pain will become less and the times of feeling grief and sadness will come around less often as you stick close to Him, stay in the Word and tuck yourself into a good church 'family.' Remember that it's better to live by our faith not our feelings.... it's okay to have our feelings and express them but the bottom line is that God loves us and never leaves our side. He is especially close to us during times of trouble.
I'm glad you posted and shared how you are doing.
God bless you.

[Zutie]

Dear CMC,

Thanks you for your support. Part of what I lost while seeing this man was my relationship with the Lord. I am finding my way back to Him, my home. i knew that my life was out of balance that even though I was still going to church and reading my bible I was not spending the time that I use to spend with God.
I never dreamed that I had fallen so far away, that I had literally replaced my first love. What a dangerous place I have put myself in and what a trek it is getting home.
My pastor has been a real support as well as family and friends but the grief at times is overwhelming, my warfare is as you mentioned..."believing" that my Dad knows what is best for me Jer. 29:11 (standing on the word) and to obey Him and this war against my emotions is the battle.
There is no greater support outside of the Lord himself, than for a believer to lift another with the Lord's truth and love.
Thank you for your support,
Zutie

[cmc]

Zutie,
The sadness and pain we feel are a gift from Him sometimes. When I remember 'why' I feel the way I do and never want to go to 'that place' again...it's an effective deterrent and helps keep me in line. It's like the proper discipline administered to a child. He is merciful in that He saves our soul but also saves us from many things in this life too.
I pray that you will heal (you will heal) up enough to go on and live the life God has for you, but not to forget the lessons learned. I believe He allows us to go the way we do... even sometimes when that way is away from Him and/or what is right. WE learn from our mistakes and we learn so that we can lead, guide and offer genuine comfort to others.
How good it is to learn that you have a good pastor and loving friends and family...you have much to be thankful for.
God bless you!

[Zutie]

CMC,

Thank you for your support of His truth for it is only His truth that pierces through any darkness. It carries great power.
He is such an awsome Father, His chastisement for me has always been gentle, consistant, and without shame. He is such a loving Father and though my pain is great I know that His path for me is one of safety, love and blessings. He really does love His children and I have known for a long time that I am truly His daughter. He is the answer, all things become shadows, He is lovely. I will return to my place with Him where I will sing and dance and shout of how capturing and beautiful He is. He walked on water, blessed the children, healed the leper, and is the "Only One" who can do the impossible. My life and every child of the King has their life in Him. This is why I have walked away from this relationship from this man, He led me away, it was not my desire but His. BUT my desire is to find my life and that I know can only be found in Him. My life is not outside of Him. No man's is.
He is risen, He is well and very very alive. He can do what I cant, and so much more. I will put my broken heart in His hands every minute of every day for I am weak and any strength I have is from Him.

Zutie

[getn2gether]

I know how you feel. I have been remarried for the third time 18 months tomorrow. He leaves and comes back.. I pray for direction from God and this man I think I love comes back. But nothing ever works. I was "out of my skin last night". My best friend came over and told me when I feel I want to call him call her first. I know how bad it hurts... but I have finally realized God has been answering my prayers... I just havent listened. And I hurt so bad right now. I just lost my mother and I just feel so angry he walked out of me when I FEEL I NEED HIM THE MOST>.. but what I think I am starting to realize is that I need to this time to be with myself to get myself together. I want to drink so bad at this very moment. I cant even watch the super bowl game... I'm thinking in my back of my head... Im drinking as soon as my kids go to bed... It's a struggle. I do feel your pain and anxiousty.

[rayofsunshine]

Sending prayers Zutie, that the Lord will continue to guide you, and give you the strength to get through the loneliness, grief and pain you are feeling.

I'm also praying for you Getntogether. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother
and that you're alone with your hurt and grief. God loves you and will see you
through.

[natbrat]

JUST REMEMBER LITTLE SISTER......asking Our Lord to help you stay away and endure the pain will give you a 50/50 (I know it's more...but just for the sake of arguement) chance that you'll find a wwwaaayyyyyy better dude. If you go back...you have a 100% chance of having a crappy life with someone who just isnt capable of fulfilling a marital sacrament. You can do it home- girl....I'm cheering you on!