Common ground

[toad]

“The better friends you are, the straighter you can talk, but while you are only on nodding terms, be slow to scold.”
(Francis Xavier)

“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
(Romans 12:18 The Amplified Bible)

In 1960 I was a freshman in high school. My family had just moved to Kansas City and I was a new guy in a high school that was attended by many who had gone through elementary school together. I had been shuffled around for the six months prior to the move to KC because of my parents were getting a divorce. We lived in San Antonio Texas before the divorce and I was not real excited about the move to Missouri. I can recall that I had a chip on my shoulder because life was not going just how I wanted it to go. Well, it didn’t take long for someone to come along and knock it off. Eddy Patterson gave me the honor of being the first person to challenge the chip I had on my shoulder. We had the first class of the day together and some words were exchanged, threats were made, and we agreed to meet after school and fight. As I look back I remember the feeling I had all day long as I dreaded the end of school. When school was over we met down on the corner to get it on. The truth was that neither one of us wanted to fight, but because of foolish pride we could not back down. We met and as I recall more words were exchanged but we did not throw any punches. It was just a big show of egos. I can still remember the dreadful feeling I had that evening knowing that the first thing the next morning I would have to face Eddy again. We huffed and puffed for the next couple of days blowing smoke without fire. And then it happened, we found a common ground to stand on. It was a girl that I knew that Eddy liked. As soon as we found the common ground the ice melted and we and we started living at peace with each other. Eddy and I remained good friends all though high school. We went through the turbulent years of the last sixties seeing each other often. The last time I saw Eddy was sometime in the late 1970’s. He was strung out so bad on heroine that I had to help him cross Main Street to keep from getting run over. He died a few years later. But for the grace of God, there go I. Just as Eddy and I found a common ground, today I look for a common ground with others and find it in Jesus Christ. The dread of not living at peace with someone else just floats away as Jesus Christ becomes the mediator of my life. God is doing for me what I could not do for myself…………..JRE

“Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 84)

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Love others as Christ loves us.
Forgive as you have been forgiven.

and in my schooling, a suggestion (rule to live by) that is given to pastor but is a great way of understanding for all... Love them despite their sins.

A common ground I have with all others... All are sinners and all fall short.
I am but a sinner saved by grace.

[cmc]

thanks for sharing!
My recovery loses something once I become at odds with another and do not deal with it properly. "Be angry and sin not" is not easily understood sometimes. I can choose to forbear another's offense but if I cannot truly do so in my heart I may have to confront another. The love we should have for others sometimes does require that we overlook a sin against us. For me I must pray and decide what God wants me to do and if it will harm someone else I may need to be silent and let Him work it out within my own heart and mind.
Growing up as a codependent I had to learn as an adult to confront and be assertive as a Christian. In my early 20's this was a new concept for me and part of becoming an adult. I learned that Jesus himself became angry and addressed issues when He needed to. He also did, for our sake- endure great pain and humiliation to secure our salvation. It takes discernment for me to know if, when and how to make peace with another.
This is a good thread about how oftentimes the people we dislike at first, are often the ones most like ourselves and can become the dearest and closest friends.
Toad, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend so many years ago, and am so glad that the Lord protected you all those years and saved your from a similar outcome. He has blessed you so much, what you share helps me to follow the Lord more closely