trying to find recovery

[cooljelly]

there was a time once when i felt so full of evil that i just had to go to church, get forgiven cleansed and ended up getting baptised. It was the only time ive ever been clean for as long as two months since i started using when i was 15 and im now 35.
but somehowi started using again and stopped going to church. Since then though ive had a frim belief that Jesus died for our sins to be forgiven and that he was the Son of God.
ive started praying out loud which is something ive never done on my own before and still have my bible which i dip into occassionally.
i never felt so good then at the time i got baptised and hope to get that feeling back
im a hardcore heroin addict and am finding it really difficult to go through withdrawals especially living with a partner who uses.
ive been to a few NA meetings and love the progamme but im too shy to ask anyone to sponsor me
to make matters worse, im diagnosed bipolar and have been psychotic and attempted suicide a few times.
if anyone can share their expeience stregth and hope with me i would be grateful.
reading the posts in this forum i am being to get some hope that it is possible to turn my life around, i just need abit of encouragement
thank you
penny

[gimmeid]

Get out of that situation you are in. hard choices and action now, the comfort will come in it's own time. You know the next right thing.

[angelgirl]

Welcome Penny..

It's great to have you here at SR.. I understand where you are coming from..
How about, looking for a bible based church, and walking in, and asking for help? Many churches have different recovery groups, or know where they can be found. Also getting back into NA is a great idea. Asking for a sponsor is a really good thing to do, it might be hard, but living the using life is very hard too. It's not a life that you need to keep living. There is help out there,, you can do this, you really can.. There are people out there, that would be very happy to help you. There are also detox centers that can help you get past the withdrawals.. Maybe a church or NA group could lead you in the right direction toward a treatment center. I know that my recovery started in a treatment center.

God is there, he has never gone away from you. It's us that go away from him.. I am an addict.. I have been clean from illegal drug since 4/6/05 (I think, I rarely think about the actual date anymore) it's more about living for today. I need God to help me everyday. I know he is there for me. I joined a 12 step Christian group called Celebrate Recovery.. It's a bible based recovery group. I love it, and it has really helped me alot. The people are wonderful.. But I know that truly, God has saved my life. He is there waiting for you too. He has brought you here, to talk to us.. I really believe that..

As far as the person you live with,, well, this is about you.. My husband still drinks, as a matter of fact, I believe he is an alcoholic. But I do what I need to do to take care of myself, and if that means that eventually I will have to leave, then that is what I will have to do. I am married though, and it is a bit more complicated, because I am married. That's why I do what I need to do, to take care of myself. I go to my meetings, and groups at a local mental health center, ( I have been diagnosed as Bipolar also, so I attend a Bipolar support group),, I also go to church, usually by myself, my husband goes once in a blue moon, ( not to often at all).. But it's ok.. I read my bible, and watch the 700 club, and listen to Christian radio, when I can.. I am just showing you that I do what I need to do, to take care of myself. Even when he is doing what he is doing. Who knows what the future will bring with him??
I'll leave that to God.. But that is really beside the point. This is about you..

Please seek help.. You can do this.. Once you reach out, and go for help, I promise it will get easier.. Much easier. The using life style is not an easy one, which you know.. The psychotic episode ('s?) you have had, could just be brought on from your using.. When yous top, you may be surprised, at how much better you feel. Pray to God to take that away.. He is there for you.. But we have to do our part.. :O)

Please keep posting.. We are here for you.. You can do this.. Just reach out,
it will get much easier.. You reached out here.. You can do it again..


Love,
Becky

[best]

I have a problem
I can't control the problem
Jesus help me please.

Ask and it will be given. Seek and you shall find.

You can return to that feeling of clean.
Ask for the Lord to forgive your sins. Ask by naming each one out and as we ask and turn from our sins, we will find the clean feeling and be renewed.

Ask, repent, and then live in the joy of knowing the Lord's love.

[cooljelly]

thank you for your wonderful words of support, ive been praying alot and have asked the elders from my old church tpo pray for me also
ive decided to stop using heroin from today so will be ill for the next week or so but i know it will be worth it
going to go to an na meeting on monday and ask sally to sponsor me
failing that ive got an appointment to go on methadone on the 4th which will make the withdrawals easier
there are so many people in the world who are not blessed as i am and i am very thankful for the things i have a good family a loving partner a wonderful; son relatively good healthetc
i havent been to church for a while and will go again soon all i want is to be a productive member of society again i havent worked in 10 years and have been heading down a petty criminal path
please say a prayer for me and ill let you know how im getting on
love
penny

[cwohio]

prayers for a new sober life in Christ cooljelly!

[rayofsunshine]

Adding my prayers for a new sober life filled with peace and joy.

[Latte]

You can do this.