Brillant Diamonds

[kats514]

Hi Everyone

I have been around these board know for several months, and i have asked for your prayers, for you help in knowing how to hear god, for you help in finding him when i feel small and lost. I have come to these boards when after 4 years of sobirety , my every thought was on givning in and using again just to stop the pain that was in my life. Suprisingly enough , i went to church one sunday and they were talking about a new womens bible study that was going to be starting and that little voice said "pay attention". So i joined up and picked up this book that is called "every thought Captive" by J Clark. the subject text was about battlingthe toxic beliefs that seperate us from the life we crave. I thought to my self these 2 words toxic and crave . I sat in that book store and started to flip through and read some of what it had to say.........Now i dont know much about you, but once i got clean i thought that if i did enough good things, enough 12 step work, enough deeds that well God would look at me better and not, look down and say what a mess this one is. This book had a different truth for me to look at and i wanted to share it with people i know feel that same shame and guilt and unworthiness of God deep inside where the mask we wear is hidden away. so here goes. I hope it means as much to you as it did to me in just these few words............... by the way buy the book it will blow you away.
"Even thought it's hard to accept, the truth is, your list of achievements has nothing to do with your worth. Some of us pretend to accept this truth because we know we should, but out acceptance is rarely authentic or lasting. Many of us continue to perform for approval or percieved success.
But God does not condition, His love or your value on what you do----ever. He does not love you more if you are a " good girl" or less if you are "bad". In God's eyes, you are like the most brilliant of diamonds-- the ones on displsy in a pristine glass case a Cartier, the one that could be sold only to the highest bidder, with the highest price one could ever pay, his blood, his life himself on the cross for us all, all who choose him."

In these last days, while i continue to sturggle to find a job, that doesnt judge me for my past, i have found comfort here on these boards from you my brother and sisters, from this book " Every thought Captive" and from the most important God himself....even when i think i cant here him, or feel him, or why should he want someone like me..... I have discovered yet once again that he is always with me, in the quiet and the noise and the tears and even when i think about giving it all up... now i think if the most beautiful diamond and am in awe that is how our lord and savior sees not only me, but all of you as well............... thank you for allowing me to share

Kats

[sugarssweetpea]

That is a hard one for me as well. I often wonder what God is thinking of me & the mess I often make of things. Thank you for bringing that perspective to light. I have written that book on the list of books for me to read.

[cwohio]

that sounds like a wonderful book - thank you for sharing!!!