I'm trying hard not to use - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

emmer · 09-29-2006, 02:05 PM

I'm trying hard not to use, this is my first clean day. Not my first, but i'm trying over again.I want to use and go to sleep and bury the pain.
I am so darned tempted.

**best** · 09-29-2006, 02:44 PM

Moment at a time Joe.

Why not start working on your step work that Toad left for you?
It will give you something to do and keep your mind on other things.
Maybe sit down and read the bible is another option that works great.
The temptations pass..just work through them and they do pass.

emmer · 09-29-2006, 04:36 PM

Still haven't used - I came as close as to put a pill up to my mouth but put it back. This is medication that I have to take but @ the right time, not before.
And not so it knocks me out in the middle of the day to escape.
I'm starting a step group for men or Sat night- it's new in my neck of the woods. I haven't worked the steps in the past. I can't do it on my own ...Ive tried & failed too many times and ended up going nowhere.

1Marty · 09-29-2006, 06:42 PM

Hold On Emmer. Don't give in to what the flesh wants. I was a slave for many years to the drink. It started with intervention, I had to make an effort to not drink and get busy, get occupied. I had to get out to a recovery meeting. Soon the "habbit" of needing to bury my sorrows was no longer screaming at me every night. Thats when I had to start doing some work in the program, get people in my life who I was to be accountable to. The number one thing I learned is to draw near to the lord, and do what I think he would have me. I'm never perfect in all this stuff, I fail every day, because I'm really selfish and self centered. But as long as I don't give up, keep getting up and trying, the lord keeps giving me the ability to resist the drink. Hope you recieve the power to win this tonight.

toad · 09-29-2006, 07:02 PM

You're not alone Joe...........we're all in this together..........It is for sure a "we" program...........we need you, and you need us.........great talking to you my friend..........toad

emmer · 09-29-2006, 08:05 PM

Thank-you so very much toad my friend it was nice talking to you as well.
I did feel better after our talk.

emmer · 09-30-2006, 11:07 AM

I'm starting on day 2 clean ...feeling pretty rough but I'm clean and I'm still here, clean and alive. One second at a time for me. Thank the Lord .

emmer · 10-01-2006, 12:17 PM

the start of day 3

notsleepingwell · 10-01-2006, 12:34 PM

EMMER!!!! WTG!!!!
Hang in there...you can do it....Day 3...that's huge!!

toad · 10-01-2006, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emmer

the start of day 3

Praise God..............I can feel the victory...........the war is won by the little battles that we fight and overcome on a daily basis.........In NA we have a saying that every day we don't use is a success, no matter what else happens................make this day a success...............How did your step meeting go?.............talk to you soon..........jerry (toad)

emmer · 10-01-2006, 12:45 PM

The step meeting went ok -wow lots of men showed up- everybody wants to work the steps. This was the first meeting ..it was just to organize a time and a place. I am a nervous about sharing to much but I suppose we only share what we feel comforable with.
The group will last until april 2007 - step 12 finished.......hopefully.

sugarssweetpea · 10-01-2006, 04:47 PM

I am very proud of you emmer. God will be with you all the way & will bless you for your obedience to not use. You are doing a great job!!!

***cmc*** · 10-01-2006, 04:52 PM

Hey emmer.... it's great what you are doing!!!!!

emmer · 10-01-2006, 10:23 PM

Been........ well suicidal, and I have to make a change...I couldn't keep living like this. Doing everything I can to help myself and so I don't do something I shouldn't. I am chugging along holding on to sanity - I hope the changes I'm making will help.

**best** · 10-01-2006, 10:26 PM

Joe

Keep praying and keep looking towards proper changes and it will help.

Some of the steps will be easy, some may require a little more work.
As you work each one, know that they do bring changes that change lives.

Great job. Keep doing what needs be done.
Proud of you Joe.

Grasshopper · 10-02-2006, 06:53 AM

My prayers are with you,through Grace you CAN,do this,one day @ a time!!!!

emmer · 10-02-2006, 09:38 AM

Beginning of day 4,sick but still clean.

**best** · 10-02-2006, 09:42 AM

Day at a time does it Joe.
Hang tough. Your doing good.

d_jay · 10-02-2006, 10:28 AM

One day at a time. Congrats.
It feels like an eternity during this time. You can do it with God's Grace.
Step 3: Turn my life AND my will to the care of GOD as I understand him.
I found that personalizing the steps helped me. This walk is personal. When I applied it to myself as an individual rather than a group in AA/NA it made an impact in my brain. Make the choice to LIVE. every minute, hour, day, night.
God will not walk away from you. Walk with God. This is a choice also.
I have been C&S for 11 months tomorrow. Every day, I get up and make the choice to LIVE, with God as my friend, confidant, support.

emmer · 10-03-2006, 07:32 AM

the start of day 5

***Time2Surrender*** · 10-03-2006, 07:41 AM

Day 5. Thats awesome. Hang in there Joe.

***cmc*** · 10-03-2006, 08:06 AM

{{{emmer}}}}

BSPGirl · 10-03-2006, 08:17 AM

I'm thinking of you, Joe!

Marte

d_jay · 10-03-2006, 08:35 AM

way 2 go

emmer · 10-03-2006, 05:52 PM

Off to a na step meeting in a bit. I'm starting on step 1 tonight with about 25
other guys. Yesterday when I was reading step 1, I thought it was too complicated for me and I thought forget it , I don't understand.
But then I thought , someone can always help me and I sure I'm not the only one that will have questions galore.

09-29-2006, 02:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,777	I'm trying hard not to use I'm trying hard not to use, this is my first clean day. Not my first, but i'm trying over again.I want to use and go to sleep and bury the pain. I am so darned tempted.

09-29-2006, 02:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,184	Moment at a time Joe. Why not start working on your step work that Toad left for you? It will give you something to do and keep your mind on other things. Maybe sit down and read the bible is another option that works great. The temptations pass..just work through them and they do pass. __________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

09-29-2006, 06:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
1Marty Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: God's Grace Posts: 689	Hold On Emmer. Don't give in to what the flesh wants. I was a slave for many years to the drink. It started with intervention, I had to make an effort to not drink and get busy, get occupied. I had to get out to a recovery meeting. Soon the "habbit" of needing to bury my sorrows was no longer screaming at me every night. Thats when I had to start doing some work in the program, get people in my life who I was to be accountable to. The number one thing I learned is to draw near to the lord, and do what I think he would have me. I'm never perfect in all this stuff, I fail every day, because I'm really selfish and self centered. But as long as I don't give up, keep getting up and trying, the lord keeps giving me the ability to resist the drink. Hope you recieve the power to win this tonight. __________________ Marty

10-01-2006, 12:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
notsleepingwell I'm HOME!!!!! Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Kingston, On Posts: 540	EMMER!!!! WTG!!!! Hang in there...you can do it....Day 3...that's huge!! __________________ notsleepingwell 'We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience

10-01-2006, 04:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
sugarssweetpea Growing, Learning, Living Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Vacationing on earth Posts: 837	I am very proud of you emmer. God will be with you all the way & will bless you for your obedience to not use. You are doing a great job!!! __________________ But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. ~ Matthew 6:33 Sugarssweetpea

09-29-2006, 04:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,777	Still haven't used - I came as close as to put a pill up to my mouth but put it back. This is medication that I have to take but @ the right time, not before. And not so it knocks me out in the middle of the day to escape. I'm starting a step group for men or Sat night- it's new in my neck of the woods. I haven't worked the steps in the past. I can't do it on my own ...Ive tried & failed too many times and ended up going nowhere.

09-29-2006, 07:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
toad Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: mountain grove, missouri Posts: 1,075	You're not alone Joe...........we're all in this together..........It is for sure a "we" program...........we need you, and you need us.........great talking to you my friend..........toad

09-29-2006, 08:05 PM	#6 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,777	Thank-you so very much toad my friend it was nice talking to you as well. I did feel better after our talk.

09-30-2006, 11:07 AM	#7 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,777	I'm starting on day 2 clean ...feeling pretty rough but I'm clean and I'm still here, clean and alive. One second at a time for me. Thank the Lord .

10-01-2006, 12:17 PM	#8 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,777	the start of day 3

10-01-2006, 12:45 PM	#11 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,777	The step meeting went ok -wow lots of men showed up- everybody wants to work the steps. This was the first meeting ..it was just to organize a time and a place. I am a nervous about sharing to much but I suppose we only share what we feel comforable with. The group will last until april 2007 - step 12 finished.......hopefully.

10-01-2006, 04:52 PM	#13 (permalink)
*cmc* Community Greeter Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: FL Posts: 9,994	Hey emmer.... it's great what you are doing!!!!!

10-01-2006, 10:23 PM	#14 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,777	Been........ well suicidal, and I have to make a change...I couldn't keep living like this. Doing everything I can to help myself and so I don't do something I shouldn't. I am chugging along holding on to sanity - I hope the changes I'm making will help.

10-01-2006, 10:26 PM	#15 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,184	Joe Keep praying and keep looking towards proper changes and it will help. Some of the steps will be easy, some may require a little more work. As you work each one, know that they do bring changes that change lives. Great job. Keep doing what needs be done. Proud of you Joe. __________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

10-02-2006, 06:53 AM	#16 (permalink)
Grasshopper Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Green,green grass of home Posts: 602	My prayers are with you,through Grace you CAN,do this,one day @ a time!!!!

10-02-2006, 09:38 AM	#17 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,777	Beginning of day 4,sick but still clean.

10-02-2006, 09:42 AM	#18 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,184	Day at a time does it Joe. Hang tough. Your doing good. __________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

10-02-2006, 10:28 AM	#19 (permalink)
d_jay Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Alaska Posts: 6	Emmer One day at a time. Congrats. It feels like an eternity during this time. You can do it with God's Grace. Step 3: Turn my life AND my will to the care of GOD as I understand him. I found that personalizing the steps helped me. This walk is personal. When I applied it to myself as an individual rather than a group in AA/NA it made an impact in my brain. Make the choice to LIVE. every minute, hour, day, night. God will not walk away from you. Walk with God. This is a choice also. I have been C&S for 11 months tomorrow. Every day, I get up and make the choice to LIVE, with God as my friend, confidant, support.

10-03-2006, 07:32 AM	#20 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,777	the start of day 5

10-03-2006, 07:41 AM	#21 (permalink)
*Time2Surrender* Community Greeter Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Hillsboro,Oregon and St Johns US Virgin Islands Posts: 7,073 Blog Entries: 3	Day 5. Thats awesome. Hang in there Joe. __________________ "Jack and Diane" painted a picture of my life and my dreams, Suddenly this crazy world made more sense to me Well I heard it today and I couldn't help but sing along Cause everytime I hear that song...

10-03-2006, 08:06 AM	#22 (permalink)
*cmc* Community Greeter Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: FL Posts: 9,994	{{{emmer}}}}

10-03-2006, 08:17 AM	#23 (permalink)
BSPGirl Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Nowhere Posts: 896	I'm thinking of you, Joe! Marte

10-03-2006, 08:35 AM	#24 (permalink)
d_jay Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Alaska Posts: 6	way 2 go

10-03-2006, 05:52 PM	#25 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,777	Off to a na step meeting in a bit. I'm starting on step 1 tonight with about 25 other guys. Yesterday when I was reading step 1, I thought it was too complicated for me and I thought forget it , I don't understand. But then I thought , someone can always help me and I sure I'm not the only one that will have questions galore.