Topic: Do You Ever Wish You Could See Him, Your HP?

[aasharon90]

Hi im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the Grace of my HP and people
like you in these rooms, i havent
had a drink of alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that im truely grateful.

Good morning, God. You are ushering in
another day, all nice and freshly new.
Here I come again, dear Lord. Please re-
new me too.
Forgive the many errors that I made yes-
terday
And let me come again, dear God, to walk
in Your own way,
But, God, You know I cannot do it on my
own
Please take my hand and hold it tight, for I
cannot walk alone.

Do you ever wish thru out the day that you
could see you HP? Do you wish at that mom-
ent when you are alone or in pain that He
would be there to put His arm around you
to comfort you, console you? Do you
find yourself glaring at something and wish
a vision would appear to you?


For me I do wish these things. Is this the Spiritual
part of the program that I so desparetly want in
my recovery?

I remember as a child when i was being physically
abused , the countless time i was sent out of the
house for punishment, or had to sit in a closed
garage on a toy box alone in the dark with just
light of the moon shining in on me....Im sure my
HP was with me.

The times i would look at myself in the mirror
with tears falling and the ugliness I thought
of myself as a child....I knew i was a child
of God and He wouldnt want me to do anything
to hurt myself.

There are times in recovery today that I could
be looking down into the bath water imagining
or wishing that the Face of my HP or Mary
would appear to me.

Of course I always think im not good enough to
recieve such a Gift. Youd have to be so pure
in thoughts and actions to be allowed such a
miraculous gift.

Anyway...today I still imagine when im jogging
at the park by myself....my HP is sitting under
the trees with some of His children around Him.

Or just sitting there waiting for me to join Him
to put His arm around me just to hang out.

What r ur thoughts?

Thanks for letting me share.

[cmc]

Hi,
I think that anyone who truly loves the Lord has that longing to see His face. But in a way we already can see Him. We are made in His image, his likeness- I think that I can 'see' His face sometimes in people. I forget who said it but ... when we serve each other it resembles "Jesus with skin on."
A few weeks ago I was reading in Revelation about God in his glory and majesty- sometimes I imagine seeing Him like that. Sometimes I can 'see' him as you said- Jesus sitting in the park surrounded by kids. Sometimes I see Him as holding me very closely and being very quiet, all the while protecting me, and at times I can sense His Holy Spirit as I pray or read the bible. That is how I 'see' God.
Moses was instructed to turn away so as not to look upon His face and even the glory of the Lord was kept from view by the curtain in the temple. Scripture does teach us that we will see His face in heaven. Until that day any vision or impression we may have of Him is a gift of grace- but must surely pale to the real face of God.
Thanks Sharon for this thread!

[best]

The world is filled with His glory.

The miracle of birth... I see His glory.
The flight of a butterfly...I see His glory.
The warmth of the sun...I feel His touch.
The smile of others... I see His love.
The care for others you show by coming to SR and sharing so others may know a better way... I see His love shine through your actions.

Take all that is good, all that is kind, all that is wonderful and place it all together in one place at the same time... It would be more then the senses could handle.
As the song says...Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still?
I just know that what we see on that day is beyond words and understanding.
For the moment He is filling me with the joy of His creations that are all around us. What can be seen and sensed in the here and now has me content enough that I think I can wait.
As paul said... to live is for Christ, to die is to gain.
Enjoy the moment and know that there will be a moment much greater yet to come.

[aasharon90]

Hi SR. Sharon and alcoholic here.

Holidays are not always the best
time for people in recovery. I
know for myself, i use to like
esp. back when when i could
drink just to get that good feeliing
and get things done....meals
cooked, packages wrapped,
decorations up.

Today i take it easy....i sit back
and watch the craziness around
me and just try to be thankful
i dont have to be that way.

In the mist of all that craziness....
I try to focus on my HP....Thoughts
of Him and the Blessed Mother
seem to sooth all the hecticness
around me and the feelings of
anxiety or depression i feel inside
me.

I have to have that quiet time..
turning off all the noise around me
in order to connect with my Higher
Power.

Closing my eyes and trying to picture
Both Figures in my minds eye.

How awesome it is to see Them there. That
Power sooo wonderful that takes me away
to that place far from things today that
bother me.

I sit here typing my thoughts to you
About Him and it fills my soul with
calmness and inspiration.

I so need this today in my life.

That Strength to get me thru the day.

Sure, i would give anything to see
Both in person today. But am I
worthy? I guess not..im not completely
ready and free from sin to recieve His
Almightyness.

Maybe one day.

[cmc]

Sharon,

But am I worthy?

Nobody is, and that is the reason Jesus came to suffer on the cross in our place.
The scriptures plainly state that we are not ever going to become good enough to receive His gift. A gift is given as a token of love- the giver need not qualify to receive it. We admit to Him our sinfulness, repent of our sins, and receive salvation. He is the Savior because we cannot save ourselves.

Romans 5:6-8
"When we were unable to help ourselves, at the moment of our need, Christ died for us, although we were living against God. Very few people will die to save the life of someone else. Althought perhaps for a good person someone might possibly die. But God shows his great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners."
Romans 4: 7-8
"Happy are they whose sins are forgiven whose wrongs have been pardoned. Happy is the person whom the Lord does not consider guilty."
Romans 9:39
"....nothing above us, nothing below us, nor anything else in the whole world will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
I'm so glad you came by to share your feelings and thoughts with us here... keep coming back!
cmc

[leviathon]

I know when I was at my most spiritual I could actually close my eyes and fall into a deep state of meditation in which I could sense the white light of God enveloping me and healing all of my hurts and sorrows and opening me to His path and his will for me. Every once in a while I catch a glimpse of that now and I know that when I am ready I will sense that white light enveloping me again.

Peace, Levi

[aasharon90]

If you have a picture of ur HP or of God,
Jesus...look upon His face for awhile
then close ur eyes......what do u see
in ur minds eye? There are times i
just lay in bed wanting to see His
image in my mind soooo bad that
i will turn the light on and look upon
the picture of Him sitting next to
my bed.....turn the light out and
close my eyes ...feeling safe in his
care....feeling the Wonderment of
His presence there.....Feeling
peace.....love....

Everything else just melts away.....

How about you? Does this ever
happen to you?


Right now i am soooo heart broken....
i am suppose to be going to Baton
Rouge in a few weeks.....and yet
the joy was stripped from me.....why?
First my spouse throws it to my face
as he was looking at the hotel rates
the other day saying how am i going
to pay for it? That is not the problem
of paying for it.... I promise..... Why
he said that i never know....ok so that
was one blow to one leg......what
else will happen to knock the other
leg from under me.....ok ,,,this next
incident i wrote in my other thread
under Whats going on with u today
....if u care to read.....anyway this
incident was with my neighbor.....
again another blow to my other leg
as he knocked it out from under me
.....now im down to the ground....

The past few days ive felt soooo
alone...so discouraged....so not
worth it any more....like what else
do i have to live for.....my family
can do very well with out me.....

Yesterday after hearing a message
on my machine from my spouse that
my daughter and her boy friend were
on their way to the house..i emme-
diately ran to my room .....selfishly
i didnt want company.......later
as i layed on my bed with the door
closed i could hear all three laughing
and carrying on a normal pleasant
conversation....

That would not happen if i were in
there...everyone would have felt up
tight, tense...altho trying to make
the best of an arkward situation....

I just thought to myself...no one
would miss me....i just dont fit in
with normal folks....not even my
family....And then the sad thoughts
begin flying around in my head.....

I dont want to be like that or feel like
that for the rest of my life and yet
when im here in Houston with people
i am not close to....it makes me sad....

Why cant i just LET GO and LET GOD.....

I try to and when i really try...which is
hard at times.....i get some sernity..
peace in my heart....

This is how i want to feel all the time....

Now with both legs down from under me,
im on both knees...ready to pray....if
im down on the ground then no one
can ever knock me down again, right?

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT
THE THINGS I CAN NOT CHANGE, COURAGE
TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM
TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. AMEN.