I know that my gracious and loving father has forgiven me my sins,

[kats514]

i know that my loveing gracious father has forgiven me for the many sins i have confessed to him, what i am struggling with is how to forgive my self and to have others here on this earth forgive me. The Price he paid was so great for me,,,and still i screw up and still i get on my knees and confesss how sorry i am but, letting yourself off the hook is something i am truly stuck with

[cmc]

Hi!
Welcome to our forum! I appreciate your thread here as so many of us have oftentimes felt the same way. Please take some time to read the stickys on the top of the page. You will find some very helpful information there.
In fact, I have selected a portion of the sticky 'Grace' taken from lesson #4.

There is a difficulty about disagreeing with God. He is the source from which all our reasoning power comes. You could not be right and He wrong any more than a stream could rise higher than its own source… And arguing with God is like cutting off the branch you are sitting on. (Mere Christianity (2))

When God has forgiven us, we are forgiven. I have often had to remember that myself. What hampers me in my life is when I hold on to my feelings of guilt and/or low self esteem. "How could I have done that?" or "I feel so bad" often come to mind. Reading through the new testament shows that others felt the same, we are all the same.
The truth is that I can choose to agree with God or agree with my feelings about myself (or others). It is something that we all must work through.
I hope you will keep coming back and share about yourself.
We would love to have you around!

[best]

Kats

God forgave me so I know He will/has forgiven you.
God forgives and can forget. We are the ones who have the tough time forgetting the things of yesterday. Can't change yesterday. You have changed today with your asking for forgiveness. Tomorrow, we can start a new day with the things we have learned and tomorrow will become our new today when it gets here. Today we are forgiven. Today and into tomorrow, we have new life. No need to live in yesterday's forgiven sins in or minds.
One day at a time and yesterday is not the one day we have before us.
Live today and live it with the new, forgiven you.

[toad]

Originally Posted by kats514

i know that my loveing gracious father has forgiven me for the many sins i have confessed to him, what i am struggling with is how to forgive my self and to have others here on this earth forgive me. The Price he paid was so great for me,,,and still i screw up and still i get on my knees and confesss how sorry i am but, letting yourself off the hook is something i am truly stuck with

Step 4) made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
Step 8) made a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Doing a fourth step helped me in seeing my short comings clearer. And when I got around to doing the eigth step my sponsor made sure that I was at the top of the list. Staying clean and sober is part of my self-forgiveness in action. Each day we don't use or drink is a success! Don't beat yourself up too bad. Day by day if we don't use we forgive ourselves more and more.
.............toad

[kats514]

Thanks to all of you for your support, and i am grateful to the father and to all of you who, he has sent for special purposes. I guess the bigger problem is am having comes with what i do for a living. The greatest gift i recieved from God was my nursing abilities,and about 3 years ago, while in the midst of a major depressive cycle i tried to overdose on some very potent medications. Obviously god had some other plans for me, cause i am still here, but because of being a nurse i was reported to the department of professional regulation ( licensure) they saw that it was a failed suicide attempt, but still put my license on probation... that information is avalaible to any employer that looks up my nursing license. On Aug 10th i was fired after a new take over at the place where i worked and was let go on the "at will" policy ( a whole lot longer saga). To shorten this drama, i have been a nurse for 28 yrs this october, and have a very long and good career background however, i am having doors slammed all over the place in my face because of the information on my licenese/ I have been praying and crying trying to understand what God's will is for my life. and where and what he wants me to learn from this, but i feel myself sinking into this dark place, where i am afraid i cant get out of. I am feeling so lost, rejected and alone. Prayers are asked for and if there are any other impaired professionals out there , maybe we could chat.
Thank you all
In his name all are blessed
kat

[cmc]

Hi,
Prayers will be said for you during this difficult time. Prayers for strength and wisdom. When things become out of our control, oftentimes that is when God moves in and shows the way. I will pray for you to find His will for your life.
You are not alone...not here, not anywhere. He is close by....always.

[toad]

we will pray..............You would be very good at working as a nurse in a treatment center. Also you are qualified to nurse on psych wards. Possibly God is opening up new doors for you. I will pray that you continue with your prior employment in the same field. Speak victory in this! Even when it looks like a defeat, Speak the victory! The apostle Paul wrote to the church at Rome, that "Abraham, called those things that be not as though they were." Jesus said we could have what we say.......Speak to the mountain! Speak victory!..........I don't mean to preach.........possibly I needed to hear this myself.........thanks for letting me share........toad

[eddie z.]

Kat,
Best sent me a link to this thread, so I thought I'd see if I could help out. First of all, where is Lisle? I mean, what country and state/province? My experience is with the North Carolina pharmacy board and employers in North Carolina, but it may be applicable to you as well.

As far as finding employment goes, I found it better to be up front about my past rather than waiting for prospective employers to "find out." I think one interviewer was very put off because I didn't disclose my problems until well into the interview. When I first talked to my present employer, I came right out and told him my circumstances before I set up the interview, throwing myself at his mercy, so to speak. I know this could have back-fired, but the other approach wasn't working, so I took a risk and it has worked out wonderfully.

In terms of forgiving yourself, that is something I am also working on. I am at my 9th Step and have been for a while because I think it's important for me to do it "right." Making amends to others is not about getting them to forgive me, but about allowing me to forgive myself, something I've struggled with for years now. I stole drugs for years, not only from employers, but directly from patients (which I said I'd NEVER do), and I often used drugs on the job, leading a double life with respect to my profession.

My hope is that doing my 9th Step will help me truly forgive myself. I wasn't clear from your posts if you actually consider yourself an addict, but even if you don't, you can still work the 12 Steps and I highly recommend it. Feel free to send me a Personal Message if you like and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!

Love and hugs,
Eddie

[Chance]

My name is Vic and I am an addict! Probably dang lucky to be here clean today that is for sure. Through the NA fellowship, My HP whom I choose to call God, the Program of recovery, I haven't had to take a drug (alcohol is a drug) since May 25, 2006 and for that I am eternally grateful.

On this one particular day, I was struggling with self forgiveness also. My sponsor said Vic open up you NA Basic Text to the first page. So I did. He asked me what I saw there? I said Nothing. He said "Vic that is what you know about staying clean, and that is what God holds against you for all of your mistakes, so who the heck (he didn't use heck ) are you to not forgive yourself!" You know that is so true, who am I not to forgive Vic when My Lord who is all POWERFUL has forgiven me. I think also that self forgiveness comes when we start to live the right way, Gods way. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Love Vic

[kats514]

thanks to everybody for there support and love, this is really a special place and i know God was all over it when i found it. I keep waiting and praying for his will and his grace to heal the wounds that i am feeling. It was brought to my attention yesterday that as dejected and rejected i feel i was to consider how much more then this Christ must have felt on his journey to that cross. I did and i am and i am small in his presence, and i am no where as strong as he was. What a wonderful father, What a wonderful savior.
Kats

[eddie z.]

Peer Assistance Network for Nurses may be helpful. Very best to you, Kats!!

Love and hugs,
Eddie

[rayofsunshine]

Continued Hugs and Prayers for you...

[cwohio]

praying for you kats!!!