broken heart and time to let go

[hopealwayz]

I talked to a friend of mine yesterday and was deeply hurt and I am questioning whether I should end this friendship or not. He said some very hurtful things. He told me that he felt like I was entrapping him into hanging out with me. I asked him what he meant. He said that he didn't know why it took me 15-20 minutes to tell him what is going on in my life. Sometimes, it just takes me a little longer to find the right words to talk to him about things that are going on.... and he feels like it is just a way of getting him to spend more time with me.

I have never tried to do that to him. He also said a few other hurtful things to me.

He is pushing all of the blame to me. I have always been there for him and I have tried to be patient with him through his fits of anger and mood swings but I don't want to get hurt anymore.

I think that it may be best if I move on now instead of being a doormat for his inner rage.

My heart aches now.

{{Big Hugs}}


He doesn't sound very understanding or compassionate. It may be a one-way street straight to a dead-end.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

You're better then that

It's his loss Just go on being the good person you are . The right guy is going to come along and you'll forget about his guy.

{Quote}

I don't want to get hurt anymore.


Don't allow your self to get hurt any more. Hook up with some friends and don't be alone.

Have you talked this over with any of your g/f Listen to what they have to say. Your friends your true friends will tell you what you need to hear

[jpeace2]

Sweetie, if this is the same guy you've been talking about, I think moving on is long overdue. You deserve better than to be treated like crap by ANYONE, for ANY reason. I don't care how long I've known someone or how much history we have, if they start sh*tting on me, they've got to GO. Especially if feeling bad about myself will affect my sobriety, like it has affected yours in the past. Cut the ties, my friend, and go find yourself some real friends who will support and love you, not manipulate and reject you. Just my two cents, take what you need and leave the rest.

Love, Genie

[hopealwayz]

He also told me that if he can't pay attention to me 24 hours a day then I start pouting which is not even true. We haven't hung out in months and all I asked him for was to spend a little time with me and I said that in a totally calm way. He then said that I displayed the attitude of a 6 year old and I was just like ...what???
I always have to walk on eggshells around him because anytime I ever tell him how I feel, he gets defensive and angry. He then finds fault in me.
I know that I'm not perfect but I have had to be patient to put up with all of his stuff too.
I just don't think he appreciates me at all and I have always been there for him with unconditional support and always an open ear. This is the way he thanks me---making me feel bad.

I definitely deserve to offer my friendship to someone who appreciates it.

[jpeace2]

YES YOU DO. I'm glad you're starting to see that now. Kick him to the curb, girlie....let him go abuse someone else while you find yourself someone better to hang out with. Trust me, you will feel a lot better about yourself when you don't have people in your life that are feeding into your already shaky self esteem. I know I do since I got rid of a few.

[Wolfstarr]

((((((hopealwayz)))))))
jpeace is right. I wish you the best and peace of mind...
it just isn't worth all the energy expended on him...

[Time2Surrender]

(((Cheryl))) I think you are a very sweet girl.You deserve so much better.Forget about this guy.Work on staying clean and your recovery.Work on yourself and be good to yourself.And in God's time,I have no doubt he will put the man of your dreams in your life.

[Alera]

{{Cheryl}}

Haven't seen you around much and been really worried about you. I was glad to see you post.

In fact I was about to bump "your" thread when I saw this.

[Ann]

I always have to walk on eggshells around him because anytime I ever tell him how I feel, he gets defensive and angry. He then finds fault in me.

Sounds like he is all about "him".

Walking on eggshells is often a reminder to me that I am spending way too much time and energy trying to be what the person wants me to be instead of just being myself. Every time I hear that "crunch" it's a nudge to find someone who meets "my" needs.

A healthy relationship is one that is give and take on both parts, and if we are doing all the giving to them, it just doesn't leave a whole bunch on the plate for us.

You deserve better. It's a lot easier to change friends than it is to change people.

Hugs
Ann

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

....I always have to walk on eggshells around him because anytime I ever tell him how I feel, he gets defensive and angry. He then finds fault in me....

Rough way to live and a bad habit to develop. One that gets harder and harder to break as time goes on.

[OVERIT]

((((((Cheryl))))))))


I have people like that in my life. I call them my fair weathered friends. I know who my true friends are. I don't totally kick these other people out of my life, but I let them come to me, not the other way around.

Hang in there girl. You don't need his drama.

Love and hugs,

Ang

[Chance]

((((((Cheryl))))))

Just wanted to let you know that we are here for you and that if you ever need to talk that I am usually around. I know how it feels to have a broken heart, when you love someone and they don't return that love. I know all to well about what you are going through right now, but I also want to emphasize that you can get through this clean and sober. I am sending good thoughts your way..

Love Vic

[hopealwayz]

Thanks so much for the thoughts on this situation. It is a really tough thing.

I saw him today and he asked me if I wanted to go have lunch with him. He said that this is all a good reason to get together and discuss these things over lunch.

I didn't say yes but I didn't say no.
On one hand, I feel like it would be good for me to talk about my real feelings with him but on the other hand, I don't know if he could even make an attempt at finding a bit of compassion in another human.

Instead of letting him get me down today, I have found the good things in my life and I let my heart be filled with gratitude. Even in the midst of hurt, comes true inner strength.