Pre-Sobriety Holiday Baking!

[YankInHolland]

Happy to say, I will not be making this for the holidays this year!

TEQUILA CHRISTMAS CAKE
1 cup water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point its best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try
another cup...just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the
fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a
drewscriver.
Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.

Check the tequila.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.
CHERRY MISTMAS!

[historyteach]

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

This is soooo funny!!!
Glad you won't be making it this year!

Shalom!

[skinner]

Ok, now THAT is funny........I never did try to bake while drunk, but I'm guessing it would have ended up SOMEthing just like that!!

[PlanoTexican]

(Smile)

[jpeace2]

OMG, this brings back some funny, but pathetic, memories of Christmases past. My best friend (and favorite former drinking buddy) and I used to get together to bake cookies every year. We'd spend all day at one or the other's house, getting plastered and messing up the kitchen. I can remember several years where one of the guys would come home to find us passed out on the couches, one time on the kitchen floor, flour and batter everywhere, and inevitably the last batch turning to burnt charcoal in the oven. Not smart....I can't tell you how many batches we'd have to throw out because someone forgot to take them out of the oven, or how many burn marks I've gotten from grabbing a hot pan without a pot holder, stupid stuff like that.

This Christmas I'm still baking but I'll pass on the spirits. I can use my mulled wine spice mix with regular apple cider and I bet it will still taste as good.

[wolflet]

reminds me of makeing rum cake with my mom....most rum cakes are safe to eat since the alcohol has baked off....not my mom's it gets basted after it's baked with a powdered sugar/rum mix about evey 20 minutes untill it can't absorb any more.....oh yeah & she says half the bottle is for the cake..half for the cooks.......not makeing rum cake this year either