I Need Help Now I Need To Talk

[Chance]

Hey is someone willing to talk to me NOW I am really screwed up in the head and I am not sure what to do

[boop64132]

I am in the chat room right now!

[Chance]

OK I made my trip and I have reached my destiny I think that I had way to much time alone today, which is not good for me. Anyway now I am here and I don't feel that I should even be here, I feel empty. I don't know what is going on but it fucccken sucks. I hate how I am felling cause I really have feelings for this person, but I feel as if like I don't belong. OK I am probably not making any sense at all but you know what I donno. OMG I think I am loosing my mind. It was such a beautiful trip and everything but Now that I am here it feels strange, acward sp... Is this just my head or what I don't know guys. I am almost sure that she wants me here but I feel as if I don't belong. I know that I am worth a good friendship am I not. OK hope I hear from someone I am going nuts.

Love Vic

[ru4outoo]

Hey Vic I am here, are you at your g/f's place? if so trust your gut instinct. I know with me it is always right. Maybe you two are just meant to be friends, Usually you will know if you have chemistry or not. I am logged in to msn now if you want to chat.

Toto! Toto! I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. Assuming you've never visited the town you're in...you're in a strange town in the middle of the night. I would tend to believe what you're feeling is normal. I'm far from normal, but I would probably be feeling the same odd sensations you are.

I'm probably putting my neck on the block with my next question. Is this person expecting you? Instead of freaking out completely, get a motel room. Lock the door. Close the blinds. Sleep. In the morning, drive the scenic route home.

[babeekj]

Vic...hun calm down...you are nervous and are working yourself up.
Itis going to be ok.

[wolflet]

LUCKY--------don't know what your situation is.....but hang in there!......."should i stay or should i go...." little Violent Femmes lyric for ya......

sleep, yes, breakfast, yes....

get yourself centered & then ask the questions you've asked us!

((((((((((hugs))))))..........don't know what else to say........

[susane1408]

Give it time Vic, take it slow, stay friends first.

I don't know if it helps but I freaked out the first time I met my guy! I'd been on my own for so long that it felt extremely weird, I almost didn't carry on with the relationship. Been together almost 18 months now and we love each other very much.

[Gooch]

Just be you and let her be her and concentrate on the fiiends stuff. get to know each other.. listen to each other and go for a walk.

the Big Boss has both your backs.

[UrbanFool]

Originally Posted by wolflet

LUCKY--------don't know what your situation is.....but hang in there!......."should i stay or should i go...." little Violent Femmes lyric for ya......

Psssst! That's the Clash... innit? Vic --you hanging in there? Wish I'd seen your post last night.

Kelly

[Chance]

Yeah I am hanging in there but I really made her feel unconfortable by my actions last night, I got up to leave and I didn't know how to get back to the road to even go home so I came back to her place. It was really unconfortable and I still feel like she is uneasy cause of how I reacted last night. Troubles are still of my own making. I wish I could go back and erase time but that is not possible. I am just trying to be me right now, but I feel as if this damage that I have caused can not be corrected, that it has taken something from our friendship and that is really hurting. All I can do is pray and let God in control.

Love Vic

[UrbanFool]

Now isn't the time to be trying to correct damage, you just need to get yourself well. I know it hurts.

I have a lot of disaster behind me as well, and I swear I'll start drinking again if I keep being accused of it. It's hard, but you can only put one foot in front of the other and do the right thing.

Kelly

[boop64132]

Vic
Hope things went ok after we talked.
Let us know how it went.

Relax...and try and have a good time!

[Chance]

Easier said then done, I don't think that I know how to let things happen. Sometimes I feel like we are just not real behind the computer screen. I try to be the same here as I am in person, but everyone that I have met in person doesn't seem to be the same person as when they are on the computer. OH well a nother lesson, and I hope that I won't have to keep doing this lesson cause this one is heartbreaking.

Love Vic

[tink360]

Hey Vic, you dont need a g/f anyway...you got me j/k I hope things will be okay, Patience is the hardest thing that im trying to learn right now and maybe its something you need to. How long have you been talking to this person before you went to visit? The computer is a very scary way to meet people sometimes. Its hard to distinguish whether or not the person on the other end is genuine or or some crazy Killer...hope your okay sweetie, and rememmber that SR is always here for you...(by the way do you like my new avatar? wingsfree made it for me...shes awesome)

[Chance]

Originally Posted by tink360

by the way do you like my new avatar? wingsfree made it for me...shes awesome)

Yeah Denise is special huh she gave me Lucky also.

Love vic

Originally Posted by UrbanFool

Psssst! That's the Clash...

Yay!! I'm glad somebody else noticed!!!

The Clash. Punkabilly Brit Band. Extremely popular in the 80's.
Should I Stay...is from their "Combat Rock" album released in 1982.

Should I Stay or Should I Go

Darling you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I’ll be here ’til the end of time
So you got to let know
Should I stay or should I go?

Always tease tease tease
Siempre - coqetiando y enganyando
You’re happy when I’m on my knees
Me arrodilla y estas feliz
One day is fine, next is black
Un dias bien el otro negro
So if you want me off your back
Al rededar en tu espalda
Well come on and let me know
Me tienes que desir
Should I stay or should I go?
Me debo ir o que darme

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An’ if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know

This indecision’s bugging me
Esta undecision me molesta
If you don’t want me, set me free
Si no me quieres, librame
Exactly who’m I’m supposed to be
Diga me que tengo ser
Don’t you know which clothes even fit me?
¡§saves que robas me querda?
Come on and let me know
Me tienes que desir
Should I cool it or should I blow?
¡§me debo ir o quedarme?

Should I stay or should I go now?
¡§yo me frio o lo sophlo?
If I go there will be trouble
Si me voi - va ver peligro
And if I stay it will be double
Si me quedo es doble
So you gotta let me know
Me tienes que decir
Should I stay or should I go?
¡§yo me frio o lo sophlo?

[Gooch]

Originally Posted by luckyv2

I hope that I won't have to keep doing this lesson cause this one is heartbreaking.

Love Vic

Not for nothin, when I was about 3 years clean, I dated a lady for about 3 weeks and one night she told me she needed some space.

It so happened that she lived on a main street and I happened to go by her house on Friday night to the grocery store and saw her ex boyfriends car there.

I didn't know why it was there and I didn't go by her house to check up on her but I got a huge knot in my stomach.

I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was being rejected, and
my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

I dated her 3 weeks .... why was it such a big deal?

Because I had unfinished shame, guilt and uinprocessed grief over my marriage breaking up 6 years before when I was loaded all the time.

When I split up with my wife I was numb from the neck down... I never grieved poroperly. Anytime feelings that were similiar to what I had never actually experienced clean came up, the impact was exagerated because there was a whole lot of feeling s,that I had sidetracked around by using ,stuffed away in my heart.

You went into this with high expectations, You had an outcome in mind. Did you consider that your higher power might have had a different outcoome in mind, and that the more things didn't feel like you expected, the farther you wobbled from the lesson plan?

This isn't about right or wrong/good or bad and figuring out who fits what label. This is about learning to be openmimded, understand that we are works in progress and learn to love oursleves and everyone else right where we are at this moment.

You know it says we practice these principles ...If we could just read them and be good at it, we wouldn't have to practice. How come I used to get pissed and throw my guitar in the corner of the room when I couldn't play like Clapton after 3 lessons? Because I want the results, the "feel good", the praise, and acknowledgement with minimal effort.

You know that expression, No pain, No gain... ?

Sounds like you are in the process of making a great stride in your recovery.

Go ahead and feel whatever it is you are feeling. Don't try to intellectualize your way out of experiencing your God given emotions. Don't use no matter what and keep getting it out. We're listening bud.

[Time2Surrender]

(((Gooch))) I really appreciate all the experience,strength,and hope you share here at SR.