Lookin for a little input to a BIG problem....

[angelgirl]

I have a problem..
I am afraid of night, not just a little, and I'm not talking really about being afraid of the dark, but afraid of the night.
I have tried EVERYTHING on gods green earth to sleep at night, but as sson as I get into bed, my anxiety, hits the roof, and my mind races. I lay and pray, and pray, and pray... Sometimes I fall asleep praying. Sometimes I have to get back up, but most of the time I won't even go near bed until I know I am about ready to drop. My anxiety gets to high in bed.
This fear goes back as long as i can remember. I don't know what in my life made me fear night so much, but it was definately something. I get a terrible feeling,and like I said, I can remember before I was married, in high school even. I had a TV in my room growing up, I slept with the TV on at night, it was the only way I could go to sleep...
Growing up, I also was never able to sleep at people's houses. Until I was old enough that we either got real drunk or real high, or both, and it didn'tr matter anymore where I was. Otherwise, everytime I tried to stay overnight at anyone's house, I would have to call my dad in the middle of the night to come and get me.... I would literally sit and be in fear as night came near, and it became apparent that people in the house (when I was staying at others homes ) were getting ready for bed, I mean I was in fear, but I would try very hard to hold out, as I wanted to "make it" at staying at someone's house,,, it was always a huge let down for me to have to call my dad, and yet such a HUGE relief when he came.
I began using drugs at a very, very young age. Maybe this is part of the reason why????? I don't know for sure, but it did help me as far as staying at friends homes. Then I really only stayed where I knew we would be able to either get high or to get drunk.
I take meds at night to sleep. Different antidepressants and such that help "normal" people (lol) sleep, it take enough to knock over an elephant to make me sleep at night....
I do feel that it's a big part of my problem....
Well, just thought I would put this out there, inthis wonderful new forum..
I love this.... It's cool.....
Love ya all, Becky

[cece1960]

Hi Becky,
I have trouble sleeping also. I'm not sure the underlying cause, but I know it started with anxiety about my AS, then, even after I worked some of those issues out, the sleep disorder stayed.
I've always thought that it was the lack of outside distractions that caused it.
I don't know but I haven't yet gone the route of meds, other than over the counter stuff thats worthless.
What I do know, and what jumped out at me from your post is that it IS the difference between a good Cece and a bad Cece. Lack of sleep can destroy my day, my emotions and all coping mechanisms that I think I posess.
For what its worth, when your rolling around trying to sleep you can chuckle a bit that someone else is too
Cece

[BigSis]

Yep, I have it too... better now than when I lived at home (30+ years ago).

I don't see anything wrong with leaving a light on, the television on or what ever you need to do to feel safe.

Perhaps THAT is what you need to be ok with?

.... or you could get a night job and sleep days?

[angelgirl]

I worked nights and days, shift work, and it lead me to a whole host of other problems.
My addictions just grew wosre after 11 years of it.
In the future that is what I will do again, but for now, I need to find the reason why I have thisfear, it's controlling my life. I am trying to get my life together. I have 3 kids left at home. Working shift work is not anything I can do now, I am having to many anxiety problems. But this sleep issue is a partof my axiety.
I will continue to work with my therapist to fing the reason why I so fear night.
I apperciate your input, thanks Sis..

Cece,,
Thanks
I will keep you in mind as I lay awake at night.
I am taking different anti-depressants, as well as a mood stabilizer, all meds that
knock a "normal " (lol) person out. Not me, but then, I know I'm no where near normal..
LOL!!!
Thanks for your replies!! I DO appreciate them.
Love, Becky

[splendra]

I am somewhat of an insomiac. What helped me was to go to goodwill's used book department and find several very thick and boring books about things that are really boring to me like made a good tecnical manual on how to build a deisel powered electron microscope in your spare time. Well maybe that might excite somebody but it put me into a deep coma like sleep everytime I read it.

Try it it might work...