Trying to make a major decision.

[namommy]

I've posted alot in the past about our financial difficulties and how stressful they are. Now it's time to make a major decision.

My husband got a lead on a job that he can probably get.

It's $35/hour, with full benefits, 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, with a 3 year contract.They will relocate the family and put us up in housing for 6 months until we are able to get a place of our own.

Now, the catch. We have to relocate to Louisiana or Mississippi. He's a contractor, and they are looking for contractors to help re-build.

It's a tough decision. Everything we have and don't have is here in PA. Both of us are very family oriented and very close to almost all of the members of both families. But it will help us immensly in the financial area. It could help us to get out of debt and get a fresh start.

We've talked to the kids, and the boys have said they are OK with it. My daughter is still thinking about it. We want it to be a family decision.

This is a very scary subject for me. I am very, very close and a little too dependent on my family (as far as just knowing they are close by).

Any feedback or support would be appreciated.

[abtchonamission]

Hmmmm, that's kinda closer to me....so I like the idea.

Seriously, though...I moved to North Carolina from Massachusetts almost three years ago. At home I had family and friends...here I had nothing except it was where Mike was. The first couple of months, I felt pretty alone, I still only had Mike here, and had given up all the other things in my life.

After a while, I realized how much I loved the decision I made...I can honestly say, even if things don't work between me and Mike, I won't be moving back to MA. I visit everyone there, and that's enough - for me.

I made a list once when I was doubting this move, and thinking that maybe I should go back...when I listed my reasons for each, honestly, there was very little to show for going back. Maybe you could try to do something like that...and why the hell am I talking about list making so much over the past week? LOL

Sit with it for a bit, think over the reasons for each choice, let your HP guide you...and the right answer will come to you.

You better drive there through NC if you move!

[angelgirl]

hi there L,

Wow, what a decision to make, considering that you're not only leaving your family,
you'd also be moving into a zone that isn't quite safe from hurricanes... They haven't quit seeing them yet.
Or are you talking about moving further north or whatever away from this zone?? So you're good and clear from all of that?
Is the place that is willing to hire him a reputable (sp?) employer? Will he for sure recieve his paychecks, no matter what? 35.00/hr seems like alot, does he make that now, or has he ever?
How old are your kids? Are they going to be going to school? There is some terribly traumatizes children in that area. We'll see if the crime ratte stays the same or gets any higher with so many displacd people that have lost everything.
There is just so much to think of... I am just trying to raise a few more questions for you. Maybe some fo mine may seem silly, maybe not so silly. Just tryin to ask all I can, so you think of everything.
I guess I would fear most for my kids, and the crime rate. It seems the area is a mess, and is going to be a mess for a long time, its quite a decsion to have to decide whether to move into the middle of it or not.
I don't know what I would do. I guess I would be very afraid to move there, the hurricanes aren't even over with yet, you could very well put yourself into a place that you also lose everything you own.. If not this year, what about next, or the next? abtch, Sit

I agree very much Sit with it for a bit, think over the reasons for each choice, let your HP guide you...and the right answer will come to you.
If it were me, I just don't know......
Good luck, I wish you nothing but the very best!!!
Love, Becky

[abtchonamission]

Originally Posted by angelgirl

abtch, Sit

LOL - for a minute, I thought you were telling me to 'sit' - as in Sit, Stay, good doggie. :Lmao

Glad I kept reading!

[bikewench]

Hey Laurie...

change can be a terrifying prospect...

I have noticed in recovery though that the things that are meant to be in my life just seem to fall into my life... without much effort on my part...

when all the signs point to go... ;o)

or a majority of them anyway...
I just have to trust...
and believe in myself...

and ahhh...
just a thought on family conscensus....
in the end... one needs to do what is best for the family as a whole... and for myself in the long run...
cause kids are gonna grow up and go away..

anway..
praying for clarity of choice for you...

[hopealwayz]

I will be praying for you. Don't rush into anything, give this one lots of thought. I agree with Becky on those things that you should consider. With all of the destruction, it could be a very bad place for the kids. It will take a while for everything to build back up there.

[PlanoTexican]

NA,

My wife and I left Maine for Texas in 1980. We had been married for six months. We left with what we could fit in the back of a Datsun Pick-up. For three months we slept on lawn furniture and had no TV, stereo or furniture.

Looking back, we moved because there was no good paying jobs, double digit unemployment, inflation was out of control, we just had nothing to look forward to. We were already starting to get in debt at a young age.

Today we both realize that it was the best decision we have ever made besides getting married, having our son, and getting clean. We have everything that we need or want and then some. We have a nice home in a great city.

Something about the south’s can do attitude is catching and very refreshing. Some would say that southerners don’t like Yankees. For the most part I have never found this to be true. If you come to the south with the right attitude, and never say this is how we do it up north, you will find the majority will welcome you with open arms. Of course there are a$$holes, they are everywhere.

Unions are not as popular here in the south, but I will say if you want to work, show up sober, and on time you most likely will NEVER be unemployed.

If you are a skilled employee, you will be paid well, and treated well, Union or not. I am not a Union basher by any means. Before becoming self-employed, I had worked in the Air Conditioning trade as a service tech in both Union and non union shops. I made the same money, and had the same benefits either way.

[cece1960]

Namommy,
Thats a tough one. for sure.
Sometimes I wish I could leave everything behind and start fresh.
Other times I LOVE the roots I have here (also in PA) and would never have the strength or courage to leave what I love behind.
Maybe have him go on down and see what it entails. Or if you could, a few days for the both of you with out commiting could help you make up your mind.
Regardless of what you decide, if you know in your hearts it was the best choice, it will be the right one.
Cece

[namommy]

WOW! Mind boggeling questions!! But very good and valid questions for me to look at. Thank you. Any more questions you can come up with, or any more suggestions or experience would still be appreciated.

I will get back on later. I have a migraine and need to eat.

[best]

Laurie

I have found that people in the south are more open to accepting new people.
You may find frinds there faster then you would in a big city in the north.

[icefalcon]

hey laurie, i know for me moving improved my life. ya i had to leave southern calf., but i needed work. first moved to seattle, wa then moved to the twin cities. went from one extreme to the other. if i had not gone to seattle i would have never meet kathy and the girls. if kathy and me had not moved to minn. we would not be planning our retirement now. so in the long run, i did not want to leave calf., but god has opened doors for me, i just needed to step through.
dean

[stormyautumn]

I just moved to Indy a month ago after living in Florida for 13 years. I was still in a relationship, not a very good one, but very co-dependent, had my mom there etc...but moving here was an opportunity for a better paying job, a lower cost of living and going back to school. It was hard and I was wishy washy about it for months before I did it. But I did..I thought well if I don't like it I can always go back...this has been the best decision I have ever made. I lvoe it here and opportunities are opening all around me..besides being down sometimes, I am starting to get out and try and meet new people..hey it's part of my recovery!

[2tough2die]

Three years for a chance to get it together? That's small time, I'd be packing up the plantation already, time's a waistin'.

I spent seven years in Atlanta, family's up here, so I know all about the roots we like to plant in Philadelphia. But it's only a temporary thing, the economy could very well suck in a year or two, jump on it, Yo!

You'll be back before you know it, Philly will still be Philly when ya get here. In fact, I found an even stronger attachment to the town and family after I came back. I'll ship you canoli's from Termini Brothers if it makes it easier (provided I can find out how exactly one packages a cannoli for shipping LOL).

Sounds like to me you can't lose

[historyteach]

My prayers are with you, Laurie....
You know where to find the answer -- deep within, that still small voice will tell you what is right for you and your family....
Shalom!

[roadie58]

Hey Stormy- Glad you're feeling better and that Indy is agreeing with you.

[CarolD]

compromise Laurie?

Let him go work down South and you and the kids stay in Pa?

His long hours will not allow much family time.
Friends of mine are electricians....and are going alone.
Their Union suggested it as the housing and schools are not yet ready.
And...
I have no heard anything re drugstores or supermarkets being open.

Prayers for your family....

[namommy]

2tough2die,

How about shipping me some tastykakes if I decide to go!? Peanut butter kandykakes are the bomb!!

I haven't had the nerve to bring it up to my family yet. I'm going to wait until Sunday when they are all here at my house and we can all talk about it at once.

My husband hasn't mentioned it much after I decided to seriously think about it. I'm not sure what is going on there. He talked about it all the time when I was a definite "NO", but now that I am seriously considering it, Nothing! He's hasn't talked about it at all. I'm wondering if he pushed so hard when I was saying no so he could use me as his excuse not to go.

I'm praying on it still.