Hit and Run

[StayinAlive]

Wasn't really sure were to put this. I just needed to share as i am a little troubled.

My roommate/work partner was struck while on his street bike last night by an oncoming car in his lane. He was able to avoid a direct head on but still got side swiped by the mystery driver who never even lifted the throttle according to one witness. He was in operation all day from 10-3 pm, he may loose part of his foot and his elbow is shattered. I have yet to talk to him or hear how the operation turned out. But bottom line is he still alive and will recover to some degree and i am grateful for this.

Not to sound selfish but many things will change for me from this too but it pales in comparison to what he has to live with. Its just that i am new in recovery and just got my own place one month ago. So i am anxious about, how i will get to work, how i will finish construction contracts without him, will he be able to afford rent or will he move home. I feel guilty thinking about me in this situation.

They found a piece of the car and have already found a suspect. I cant help but feel a little shame knowing that i could have been the cause of such pain or worse 8 months ago although i dont think i would ever flea the scene. Of course i am speculating, maybe the driver was not drunk.

But anyways i am going through a lot of emotions and working hard on pulling out some tools but its like the tool box is locked in the van at the moment. Yet early today before everything sunk in for me i was handing out suggestions on confidance like candy.

Breath......one thing at a time one day at a time. I will not use today period.

thanks for letting me vent

[mizserenity]

I am sorry about your roommate. How scary.

And I totally get feeling bad for your friend but also wondering how it is going to impact you logisitically. I hope the transition is smooth for you.

[cmc]

Hi StayinAlive,
I'm really sorry to hear about your friend and all the implications related to his injuries. It sounds serious but maybe things will work out better than the doctors expected.

I too, like to stay in today and deal with things as the need arises. It is wise though to consider the possible changes ahead so that you can have a back up plan. I like the phrase "plan for the worst and hope for the best."

As for feeling shame...well thankfully you don't need to do that. You are not using and you did not cause this accident. If anything comes of this in regards to you I would think it would feel good to know that you live a completely different life now. Good for you.

I'm sending good wishes & prayers of faith for your friend and for you too.

[serenityqueen]

I imagine that you are pretty shook up at the moment. First thing, I would say a Prayer of Gratitude to God that you never ended up being the one who hit someone while you were driving. You have no reason to feel guilty, grateful, yes!

I wouldn't go predicting way into the future, so much could change. Yes, you need to work on how you will be getting to work, that's important. But the other things will work out. One Day at A Time applies in so many other areas of our lives.

Maybe when your thoughts start getting out of control with worry about what you are going to do, think of things you can do to help your friend. Getting out of self is something I need to work on at times.

I will Pray for everyone involved in this tragedy. Things will work out, if you

Let Go & Let God, Keep it Simple, One Day at A Time, Just for Today,
Judy

[StayinAlive]

Thanks so much guys. Just got back from the hospital and the good news is he gets to keep his foot but will need another surgery. Your advice was bang on about getting out of my head(out of self). Felt much better getting out of the house and being with his family to go visit him. He was all whacked out on morphine so it wasn't much of a visit lol.


Now i can stop speculating and make some plans, but tomorrow is another day. Got kind of carried away earlier. Just goes to show me those old methods of coping don't go very far away over night. I didn't think i was going to use but i did remember what i used to do in this situation. Go to the bar, complain about how the sky is falling and how screwed up life is(even though its completely fine) and drink my self into oblivion until life was totally screwed up.



Didn't take much to upset my apple cart a little but i am good now. Thanks and yes i will be saying a prayer filled with gratitude as i purge some emotions now, good night good people.

[barb dwyer]

Be a friend to your friend.

Let the rest happen.

Let things unfold ... and deal with each thing - as it happens.

You're not 'wrong' to have racing thought about rent, work and secured jobs.
You're not 'wrong' to have fleeting worries about self-preservation.

Where we go 'wrong' is in the knee-jerk reaction.
Where we go wrong - is using that as a 'reason' to self- indulge.
To drink
To use.
THAT ... is when it becomes 'wrong'.

You didnt do that.
You came here.
Then you went to your friend (or whatever the order of that was).

And most important - you didn't self- indulge.
You didn't drink.

I hope you keep us informed.

Hit and run ... is like a fear-biting dog.

Or a coward poster.

I get plucked.

*hug*

[StayinAlive]

Thanks Barb.......sigh...never went to work today. A little to worn out and my nerves are acting up a bit but i will be fine. Just took the day to chill and make some plans.

They found the car, it was ditched. They knew it was a match because it had his bone fragments from his elbow on it. I am guessing the owner of the car has been severely questioned. Not sure on the details about if it had been reported stolen or not. Will keep you posted.

[serenityqueen]

Isn't it a true Blessing when something happens and we don't turn to our old comfort zone as a way of trying to cope? I think it's wonderful that you came on here and shared so openly with us about your feelings and fears.

When I had about 14 months in Recovery, my Father died. Several hours after I got the phone call, a thought suddenly occured to me. Shouldn't I be going out of my mind right now trying to find some pills or a bar still open to go get trashed?

When a crisis happens like you experienced and we turn to healthy ways of coping with it, it's simply one more thing that I can add to the list of Blessings that I have been given in Recovery.

I will continue to keep you, your friend and family in my Prayers,
God Bless,
Judy

[best]

Not sure how things work up there but here in the states... they catch the car, that catches the insurance company. Weekly lost wages get paid. A settlement gets paid later (pain and suffering comp.)
As for the missing co worker and getting the job done... could another worker be hired for the time being?
There are always solutions but our emotions get in the way of seeing them at times.
As for feeling bad about self preservation... Don't. Your own preservation (that of the company) is his preservation as well. It will give him a hope for the day he can return to work.
If he returns to your place... you may get rent payments once insurance starts to pay but you may also need help him with his recovery.
If he returns to his mom... maybe a new room mate till he is back on his feet.
Thinking realisticly is helping you both.
A talk with the landlord and a talk with customers may tell you that you have more time to get things in order then any panic thoughts are telling you. People do listen and understand. Some may even offer to help. You never know till you try.
Things will work out.

Good to hear he will be ok. Prayers that he heals fast and gets through this ok.

[CarolD]

Prayers for his healing and for your peace.
Mega Hugs to both of you.
(+) (+) (+)

[StayinAlive]

Some words that come to mind regarding your posts friends, informative, reassuring, realistic, caring, wise........Thank you.

[StayinAlive]

Well good news today. A 28 year old woman turned herself in.............not really sure how i feel about that. Its not like she had a choice. She was the owner of the car. So she ditched it, probably sobered up a few days, probably talked to a lawyer then turned herself in. I wonder what her story is. I thought i hit a deer riding a motercycle.........music was too loud didn't here anything, um decided to walk home but got lost.

Doesn't really matter i am kind of indifferent to whether they caught her or not. Kind of strange. I guess for closure its good. The family on the other had want blood. The victim my roommate has little resentment so thats good, for his well being i am proud of him.

He went in for another surgery today to tweak and clean some stuff up in his foot. He has plenty of insurance and lots of support. He will be taken care of. Insurance is coming to retro fit the house with ramps and grab handles in bathroom etc so he can get around in his electric wheel chair they will be getting him. Could be fun for me too. Oh ya so he isn't planing on moving out Yahoo.

I wonder what the consequences for the girl will be.......just thinking out loud here.

My anxiety levels are returning to normal and negative thoughts have left and i am still sober, thank you peeps.

I am starting an energetic eager helper on Monday, see how he works out. He will come to my door every morning and drive me to work.........what more can i ask for, all is OK

[barb dwyer]

that *is* good news Stayin.

I can see you now, riding your office chair up and down the ramp ... nabbing the roomie's chair and trying to jump the shrubery....

[best]

Best<<<< 6 years of electric wheelchair repair.
If needed, will answer any questions.

[barb dwyer]

Stayin - did B est email you his card???

he can also probably give ya pointers about jumping off a ramp ....

Actually Stayin - I want to congratulate you on not panicking.

This has been a very scary and intense time,
for your roomie, his family and you...
you should take a second and congratulate yourself.

You did just what you're supposed to do.
You stuck to the program ...
you surrounded yourself with other alcoholics ...

you paid attention when given advice...
(a very UN-alcoholic thing to do)

And your reward is you stayed sober.

[StayinAlive]

Cool, great idea, could have my own sober pit crew too. So you really a wheel chair repair man Best. Tell me how we can get a few more mph outa the sucker. I wana do big smokie burn outs and donuts yeee haawwww