Pennies for your thoughts part 64

[WENDYLOST101]

Guys, I am so full of anxiety today that I want to puke. I just feel like poo-poo today. I cant get out of this mood I am in. I literally feel like crawling out of my skin.

[anvilhead]

first, BREATHE, in THIS moment everything is ok...second, LISTEN to your inner turmoil, HONOR what your body is trying to tell you.....know that there IS a solution.....pray for the strength to do what is you need to do......

[anvilhead]

get out a piece of paper (or open a new excel spreadsheet....) and start writing the pros and cons of staying the course or making changes.....what it is you dislike, and what you can do to find peace........

[cinderellawkids]

Wendy, breathing is the only thing that helps. Im in a want to cry but there are no tears sorta mood. Just sat with a coworker who was crying in my car, I wished I could help all I could suggest was journalling or calling a counselor, we all must make it through another 3.5 hours till the weekend.


I think I want to go home and color

[WENDYLOST101]

Anvil, you know I love you right? I am trying the breathing thing, but I keep catching myself holding my breath. And I mean that literally. Not metaphorically. Literally holding my breath. Think I need some anti-anxiety meds. Right now, the mood I am in, there are no pros to staying. I need desperately to get to my f2f meeting tonight. Missed it last Friday. You are right though Anvil and you too Cind. I need to write these things out.

Cinder, coloring sounds like a good plan. I think I will too.

I hope you all know how much you mean to me. I love you!

[cinderellawkids]

remember even on antianxiety meds, you still feel alot of the anxiety or atleast I do, which only gets worse if I forget to take it a day. I know lots of adults including some with chronic pain that use coloring as therapy.

For me today nothings working and for today I said the heck with my diet and Ive been eating lots of junk, today I just dont care

[anvilhead]

wendy, kill two birds with one stone, grab the markers or the highlighters and COLOR your LIST......i'm kind of an Action Jackson gal, meaning writing things down and carving out a plan helps me stay focused and centered and grounded. we HAVE to get that crap out of our heads.....at least i do!!! my old therapist called it Cyclical Thinking, where the thought just goes all the way around the block and comes right back to where it started, only each time it picks up steam, and then it's out of control.....

don't think about it
JUST DO IT
dammit
cuz i said so!!!

and i love ya right back baby

[Japic05]

ok wendy -
together me & you girl,

Breathe in - deep hold 1, 2, 3 -
breathe out - relax 2, 3 -
as you breathe out - close your eyes - just for a few seconds

ok - your eyes open again? of course they are - cause your readin' this right?
repeat.

this time imagine -all your penny's friends - in a circle with you - holding hands with you
or with our arms drapped around each other's shoulders - the power of our recovery passing thru each of us . . .
forming a bond of peace

a circle of strength

tranquility

joy

calm

release

slow breaths

miles apart - but we are one.

Let the love here flow thru you - let the anger go for now - let it set aside until you can regain control of your body - you and your God are in control.

Remember the disease, your AH and his behaviors are NOT in control of you.

Breathe in
Breathe out

my friend

I'm breathing with ya, Wendy!

[anvilhead]

wooooo, head rush!

[cookconfay]

head rush... :rof haven't heard that in a coon's age!

[anvilhead]

coon's age, haven't heard THAT from anyone under 40!!!

[ajangels2]

I'm here breathin too... Wendy this too shall pass and the anxiety will calm down. You will be able to sit and have peace of mind.

I'm over here breathing and trying to focus on work and its not working. hehe... so glad the bakery called to say hey there are no colors or borders here on the cake order. I said oh its supposed to be a Transformer cake. She was so suprised and glad she called... me too because two little boys would have been mighty upset if they didn't get their transformer cake.

Back in a sec going to try and finish this report.

[Japic05]

Hey - they better "transform" that cake into what you ordered huh?

ok ok - I know - what would you expect from a bunch of head rushed, coon-aged, over oxygen-fed peeps!!

[anvilhead]

so did the earth slow way down or something? cuz it's been about 1 o'clock for about 3 hrs now sigh.....

gotta make a call to the grants office and convince them to DO IT MY WAY.........

[Japic05]

yep - it's been between 2:45-3:15 FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so at 3:30 I'm off to tan - then to a meeting & off to the ballpark for my nephew's baseball game - busy this weekend getting ready for the BIG garage sale next weekend.

Hope all the birthday parties are huge successes - Happy Birthday to Gracie & to A & J

Visit with ya'll Monday

Wendy - I'm here if ya need me!!!! give me a call!!

[liesagain]

been a busy week here, havent been around much trying to deal with me and thats no easy task

wendy sorry your feeling low
Impurrfect, Ya know I'm right there with you when I read stephensmoms post today It actually brought tears to my eyes. I hate addiction and what it does to the addict and the families.............so NOT FAIR!!!!

Cindi, hope Dan made or makes it off to the new job okay and hope you have a good weekend

aj nice to see you

EVERYONE, peace and happy wishes for you all!!!!!

Aj and connie....hope the parties are a blast!!! HAppy Birthday to the SR little ones

[cookconfay]

I feel like I've been beat half to death.....EVERYTHING is almost done except I didn't get one damn flower planted out front in the beds....oh well, gee I guess when people pull up they may not want to stop for the party at the house with NO flowers??? Can you say obsessive compulsive? GAWD, it gets worse every party, every event!!!

[Jewelz]

Good morning guys... I am feeling worse. Mike has been up since 6:30am something I just cant understand when I need to be up that earlier to bring him to my moms hes knocked out but when I have the oppertunity to sleep the boy is up at the crack of dawn. Tapping me on my shoulder saying mommy, mommy, but his dad is right next to him and hes lets the man sleep arghhh.

This morning I am feeling resentful because I am up sick taking care of the kids while he is still sleeping. Okay I think I need to understand that he has been working late and real hard and hasnt done the other thing. But even though I dont work with windows I worked hard all week also and I am not feeling well. I am trying to let this feeling go before he wakes up because I am getting pissed.

I am feeling a little bit normal cause I am drinking some coffee.

[Impurrfect]

Jewelz - I hope you get to feeling better. My mom always told me I was the same way when I was little....I would wake her up, bug her to death, but never bothered dad. I admire the heck out of you moms....I have enough trouble with 3 cats!

I hope that those of you who have been struggling find a little peace today, and that the little ones with birthday parties have a great time.

[finallyout]

Hey everyone, just checking in on my fav peeps! Its a beautiful windy Sat here. Been busy busy. the kids have alot going on at school and ah's biz is crazy busy right now. Everythings been really good - he has a whole 3weeks clean now. I'm not holding my breath or anything and the anxiety waiting to see if he'll use is still there, but for right now all is happy and right in my little world. My summer classes start in about month so i'm excited about that.

connie - don't even get me started on kids parties! LOL i'm like a crazy mommy when it comes to making their parties perfect. except i really don't think the kids care, as long as they have fun and theirs cake and ice cream, they're happy! relax and have a good time!

jewelz- hope your feeling better. my kids only ever wake me too, not sure why since i'm way more moody in the AM than ah. i figure i've got at least 3 or 4 more years till i get to sleep in! hey i was wondering if you've ever been to the Chelsea Market?? I was thinking of dragging ah there with me next weekend for my b-day. I'm just wondering if its really as good as all the hype. i'm just so bored doing the same things around here, i need to get out of hickville for a night!

everyone else - hope you are all have a nice peaceful weekend!! hugs to you all!!

[Palm Tree]

Hello to all my favorite peeps in the whole world....I am still here; i've logged on last night and read the post from Stephensmom on F&F; I was sadden to learn that her precious son Stephen was found dead; when is the dreafull desease ever going to stop; when is it ever going to stop from taking our precious children; our husbands; our wifes; our brothers our sisters and everyone else we love and adore so much.

I was very upset and stayed up almost all night thinking "how could this happen"; we as parents always have such high hopes for our children to do better than us; to succeed in life to get a better job that us; a better future for them; then this happens

I pray that Stephen is now at peace and may he live forever in the hearts of his parents, sibblings and everyone else who knew him.

My daughter Lizzie is doing better and has stayed out of trouble since getting out of jail....we went shopping today, just the two of us; she wanted to get supplies to start her own "scrapbooking"; she picked up so many items from Dollar Rama; (everything for a dollar) LOL she had a great time and so did I.

Hope all the birthdays went fine; from Transformers for A&J to little princess for little Gracie

keeping you all in a safe place in my heart.......

[cookconfay]

I'm whooped, beat, about to pass out, but just wanted to hop on and tell ya'll it was a huge success. Had about 25-30 people or so over. Was fun, had lots of snackies, cake, ice cream.... She, little one that is, got to meet her cousins and her aunt from the "other" side too! It was great seeing them, they all acted really glad to be here and to see her. I hope it's not just a bluff! I truly want her to "know" her other side of the family. BUT.... I've made this much of an effort, I think the "next" get together will be because they ask us to do something? I have a hard time with the balance in these things. All or nothing you know....that's a prime characteristic of alkies....yep that'd be me! Anyways, I had a really good time, of course the let down now...the looking back saying, oh gosh I should've paid more attention to little one, I shouldn't have been talking so much with the guests....geez...................................s he had a great time and got waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much stuff!!!