Pennies for your thoughts part 64

[Impurrfect]

Anvil - that was an awesome article....kinda restores your faith in humans, huh?

As far as Bucky and the wheels, watch more animal planet One of the shows I watched today was about a horse TERRIFIED of bicycles.

Rita - I really, really hope you got your bonus.

Lies - I think that's pretty darn awesome that your son resolved the "vette" conflict on his own. You SHOULD be proud of him!

Hope everyone gets a good night's rest. I slept all day, so am about to go get my book and read....darn these vampire hours I work!

[anvilhead]

sleep, the final frontier.....i know it exists. somewhere. let's see, woke up at 10:30, 11:30, 2:30 (hey there's three hours!), 3:30.....about 4 hank gets up to pee, starts coughing, comes back to bed and turns into mr. wiggles....had to move or fidget every 2-10 seconds (i know cuz i counted), about 4:20 he says "i should probably just get up" - yes you should. but didn't. then with all the activity, bucky did his army crawl up and over, and i finally said screw it..........i wanted to kill them both. forgot to mention hank snored most of the night, so every time i did wake up it was that much harder to get back to sleep.........this is why i don't mind falling asleep on the couch........argh

from my perch i can see the shimmery sliver of the moon thru the trees, kinda chilly 40 degrees......i guess there never is a WARM 40 huh? mostly a non rain day, heading all the way up to SIXTY! woo hoo!

Happy May Day!!! will we be doing the May Pole later?

[Japic05]

Good morning everyone -

Lies - that is awesome about your son & the vet issue - was wondering how that was going - but didn't want to bring up a bad subject.

My pennies crew - I invited another friend to join us - looks like her username is "woman" - she posted once on here yesterday - hopefully she will continue to join us and visit with our "mafia" of powerful peeps!! lol She is truly a good friend and like the rest of us - learning to live life One Day at a Time!! - Welcome Woman!!

ok - I know it's early - but everybody - Grab your fav hit - cause it's time to do the "Happy Dance"



"I'm gonna put on my my my boogie shoes!! boggie with you"

B O N U S

YIPPEE!! after taxes (in case you didn't know all bonuses are taxed at 28 % - anyway, back to the celebration - I should clear $1,000.
SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so I will finally so hello to my little computer!!!
going to Best Buy and purchasing my very own laptop - should get the check next FRIDAY!!!

Bonus is going to me, myself and I!!

Let's Dance!!!!

[kj0975]

Thats great Rita all the hard work and LOOOONNNNNGGGG Days paid off. Your very own laptop thats great. Well here at work staring at the endless amount of paperwork that mysteriously just shows up after I leave work. I think I know where it comes from. See my boss hates a messy desk so he cleans his off and piles it on mine so his is clean and mine is a MESS!!!! I know I have a desk under this mountain of paperwork. Who know I might actually see it sometime today. I am picking my niece up afterschool today and putting her to work. She is gonna come in and file for me. She needed money for a haircut and NOTHING is free Plus I think it will give her appreciation of how hard I/we have to work just to get a couple of bucks in out pocket. So we will see how that goes, she doesnt have much motivation so I hope I dont have to ride her to get things done. I think she will be just fine though.

Well gotta get back to that 4 letter work!!! Anvil I know how you feel about sleep, I think I drove scott nuts lastnight cause I was dreaming but awake and I was asking him all these ?'s and he was like WTF are u talking about. Then he would laugh at me. Oh well it was a rough sleep night.

[Jewelz]

hey guys,

Lately the past couple of weeks I have been visiting the F&F forum and there is this one poster that reminds me of myself so much (brentsgirl) of when I first found out that my abf was a crack addict. I feel like a hyprocrit when I told her to run, to not stay... but then I stayed with my abf. I wish at that time I would have had this site... would have had someone tell me what life with an addict is like. I guess thats not so true cause then i wouldnt have had Michael but I hate to see people make the same mistakes I did.

I have been doing some soul searching lately thinking about me and how I feel. I feel like I am all over the place. We got back from Puerto rico over a month ago... he had used three times within a week and then just stopped. It's going to be three weeks he hasnt used, three weeks that he gave me money for our home and to save so we could move to Puerto rico. You would think I would feel happy... nope a part of me is just waiting for the other shoe to drop, a part of me wonders why am I with him, a part of me feels selfish because I want him to be the way he was when everything was going so well amd its not now. Then I have to remind myself that things dont fall into place just because he isnt using. He has three weeks clean out of using daily for over a year and when it comes down to it 3 weeks its not much. I want to be happy because I am happy not because he isnt using.... I want to feel good for myself and not depend on anyone to make me happy. I just dont know how to do it.

Jewelz

[Japic05]

Kim - I think it is awesome that you keep working with your niece to keep trying to teach them the values that your sister seems unable or unwilling to try to give to them. You, my friend, are a wonderful AUNT!!

Hey wouldn't it be fun to take all those papers and put the right back on your bosses desk when he wasn't looking?? he he he - kinda sneaky - but it would be fun - just see the look on his face.

oooh, I have that mischevious feeling about me today!

[cinderellawkids]

Rita, Im in a similar mood to yours today too, actually Im completely hyper. Im told its due to the very little carbs and no soda Ive had, I flew out of bed this morning and barely had a cup of coffee. Im loving this. The office has danishes and, this is a first Ive had enough self control to pass..... why? cause I want to continue to feel great.

Anyway this morning, as I sat in tranquility, not drinking coffee this was my view

[Japic05]

((Jewelz))

three wks of not using - after days of a major relapse is 3 wks of living on pins & needles of watching & waiting - of still protecting ourselves financially, still keep a close eye on "their" behavior so the children aren't around an active user, and that inner voice that says "they are good today, but how long until the next major relapse?"

It is still exhausting and draining times - 3 wks is only a mini-second compared to a life time of past behaviors, best intentions and broken promises.

It still doesn't stop the questions of can I continue to live my life on this rollercoaster or do I even want to still stay at this amusement park? Cause it don't feel so fun to me anymore.

BUT the world outside the amusement park seems much too scary, this ain't fun, but at least it's familiar and it's mine.

Now, I'm just guessing these maybe some of the exhausting thoughts that may go thru your mind - maybe cause this is what goes thru mine.

So give yourself a break, my friend - this stuff wears long & hard on your emotional & physical body.

[Jewelz]

Yep those are the few of many things in my mind lately. be back need to get me a Mcskillet (SP) Burrito at Mcdonalds.

[Japic05]

I had biscuit & gravy from Mac'ies D for breakfast but that was 2 1/2 hrs ago - ready for the next one - maybe a cup of hot cocoa!

[kj0975]

Rita dont worry little by little it will be put back on his desk Except this time with post it notes all over it telling him what to do with the papers!!! Jewelz when all else fails go for the mcskillet!!!! I understand what your saying I read on the F&F forum and sometime I feel like I'm wasting my breathe because are they really going to run because some stranger on the internet told them to? Wish they would but if they are like me they have to stick around and watch the train wreck that might become their life if they stay. Not that it happens to everyone but........ I wish like hell I woulda ran but not my nature cause my addict was DIFFERENT. He respected me, wouldnt act like that, wouldnt do that to me, I'm different. Sometimes its takes awhile to see they are all the same.

[Jewelz]

I"m the same way Kim... I still say my Addict is different. I know you have read where when I say oh he never cheated on me, never hit me, never stoled from me yadda yadda yadda. But what I choose not to see when I say that is that when he uses he's not there emotionally for me and I choose not to ask the question is this what I really want.

I know it may seem like when we speak there it falls on empty ears but I really deep down dont think thats the case. for example Anvil has been posting on the forum... coming straight out saying how it is and no sugar coating. And even though abf hasnt been using her replies has been making me think... thinking out side of the box and seeing things for how it is. I'm not saying though that I will change everything but I am thinking more.

I just purchased the book Getting them sober... I was looking at it on amazon and the seven page of chapter one was me and I was shocked so now I want to see if this book could help me more.

[Japic05]

BayouSelf read that book "Getting them Sober" - she loved it. It was great in helping her go thru the situation she had - and man, her's was a tough one - I would have to say one of the toughest I have seen people go thru in dealing with an AH.

Geez and I see her now - she is living life so Happy, Joyous and Free - not only because of the blessings she has in her life - but you can just see the internal peace in her heart. I'm so glad for my friend - she went thru hell & back - but like Anvil said - SHE WENT THRU IT - she kept on walking - got a few bumps and bruises along the way - but she made it.

That sassy redhead is living life to the fullest - in the healthest way.

[anvilhead]

what's better than leftover pizza for breakfast???? yum. perhaps the only downside to bringing my own lunch is that it's here in my office, talking to me......gotta try and have some self restraint (theme of the day maybe????) and not devour it all by 10!!!!

ya know if there was a single solution for our collective problems, one guaranteed system, follow these directions precisely as written and all your troubles will be over, we'd still balk and fight and resist......cuz where MY path takes me is not at all where YOUR path is leading you....oh sure, we can help each other out by pointing out the poison ivy and the hornet's nest, but none of us can see what's over the next rise........and i'm thinking that's not all bad, to not always KNOW what's next, good OR bad........sometimes it's best we don't get too much advance notice.....or we'll start trying to change or alter or renovate or run for the hills!!!

and yes, i'm the pixie of happiness today! plenty of sprinkles, happy to share!!!! just wanna you all!

[cookconfay]

Morning....I'm sneezing, runny nose, watery eyes.....GAWD.....I guess it's allergies. Don't understand how with as dry as it is and the wind is only blowing about 50 mph!!! WTF?

I have to work very long and hard the next 3 days and can NOT miss it. I guess I'll just be out there not getting anything done cuz I can't stop blowing my nose! Miserable. We even went to bed EARLY last night for a change to see if that could help us. Sigh...

But....it will be extra money that I desperately need so...that's a good thing. I'm thinking of all of you, hoping you all have a good day. TGTF (Thank God Tomorrow's Friday!)

[Impurrfect]

Anvil - your'e absolutely right. Even though I THINK I would like to know what's happening ahead of time, it wouldn't be a good thing. Then, how would I appreciate when the unexpected GOOD things come along. I've got to remember that there's just as much a chance of something good happening as bad.

I am going to meet my lawyer friend today to start the process of getting my probation terminated early...which is the first step at getting my nursing license back. I also read the local paper where I used to live and found out they are arresting people with unpaid tickets...unfortunately, I'm one of them. I have thousands of dollars in unpaid tickets (they've been accruing interest for 2 years). After having a period of panic, e-mailed Anvil and she got my head focused again. I will talk to lawyer buddy about this, too, and see if I can't get THIS consequence under control!

My niece, Brit, has 2 half sisters she's never met, thanks to the sperm donor who calls himself her father. The mom of one of her sisters is on the phone to my stepmom and Brit may actually get to meet one of her sisters! She's 14, the sister is 12. General concensus is sperm donor is a jerk!

I've got a little bit of the "pixie of happiness" today, too....sending you all good thoughts!

[cinderellawkids]

Connie, for me the worse the wind the worse the allergy attacks.

Im off to lunch

[cinderellawkids]

...arresting people for unpaid tickets, Ive never heard of that, although here they are starting to turn them over to collection agencies who are then filing civil suits.

[cookconfay]

I've been arrested on warrants for tickets!!! Of course Texas has some pretty stiff stuff.

[anvilhead]

connie, do you do any type of OTC allergy relief? i've heard good things about Claritin and Zyrtek.....benadryl has an allergy med too now, altho those things just knock me out. feel for ya......all that wind is probably kicking the pollen into a frenzy........every morning my car is coated in this light covering of pollen - all the pines are in bloom - can't wait for the cottonwoods, those get me every time!!!

[Impurrfect]

The article says they can get about $1 million dollars. They had an amnesty in 2001 (before I got all the tickets), but that doesn't help me. Most of my tickets had XABF's mom's address, but a couple had this address...the late notices threaten a bench warrant. I would RATHER deal with a collection agency...heck, I'm already dealing with 3, what's one more?