Cybernetic Ghost Of Christmas Past (From The Future)

[GreenTea]

In case anyone doesn't know the rules for this one, er... there really aren't any rules... Just do a sort of free-form free-association thing by way of a story. The more outlandish the better. Incorporating time travel is encouraged... Believe it or not, eventually something semi-coherent will emerge... Enjoy...

Predictions

Thousands of years ago...

[GreenTea]

Before the continents formed on planet Earth, and there was just one large land mass spanning half the planet...

A river formed, but not any ordinary river as you know them... This river was made of living magma, and it was really hot... So hot that that it couldn't even flow, it just sat there, steaming away and bubbling...

[GreenTea]

Eventually the rains came, and the river cooled, and it expanded... pushing aside the land masses, which didn't like it...

[cmc]

And it all seemed so strangely familiar, yet somehow new and different. The rains caused torrential floods and....

[GreenTea]

...caused erosion to take place... But not erosion as is usually known... No, this erosion went much deeper, for the rains were so torrential that they caused deep currents which actually chewed away at the very foundations of the land masses.

Eventually the rains stopped and parts of the land masses floated away, like little self-propelled islands. For they knew that the magma river would awaken once again, and be very hot.

[cmc]

Exactly, but there were several large land masses left intact and when the waters receded a bit the islands hit bottom and the semi-cooled magma caused them to adhere to the ocean floor. Very much like a super kind of glue, the land masses were never going to become unstuck. The only thing could remotely loosen the land masses would be a chemical that wasn't invented yet....acetone.

[GreenTea]

But no one knew that until the year 2340 when the first self-contained magma submarine was invented that could go deep enough and move through liquid rock unharmed. It was invented by rogue scientists living in Chile. They were searching for a way to separate the Andes mountains in order to get away from their age-old enemies, the Peruvians...

[GreenTea]

Who thought that was just fine... Provided of course, that they didn't take half of Antarctica with them. For you see, Antarctica was what was left of where the magma river had originally formed, and people felt that was important... Especially France.

But I digress...

[ananda]

The Islands were getting very lonely. And the magna bubbles were dancing.

[GreenTea]

[cmc]

Molten, steaming, glistening arcs bursting upwards in fiery peaks, created a magnificant fiery display which caught the attention of some curious onlookers surveying the scene from afar.....

[ananda]

They met with the elders and planned an excursion to see what all the activity was about.

[GreenTea]

The elders from the brain planet, who knew all about magma bubbles, having evolved inside them millenia ago, and who were now contemplating adding yet another habitat to their interstellar empire.

[GreenTea]

[GreenTea]

Little did they know that brains had not yet evolved on Earth. Only magma bubbles, for at that time, it was still the pre-neural epoch, and would remain so for another 20 million years.

[cmc]

Then one day one of the elders decided to do an experiment with cream, sugar and ice....When the experiment failed, he tried to hide his failure from the other elders and he dumped giant vats of the material in a field. It quickly froze over and that section of property became known as The Brain Freeze Zone. Because he had destroyed a sacred trust to take care of his planet, he was exiled to another planet much closer to the Sun.

[GreenTea]

In 1820 the BFZ (Brain Freeze Zone) was finally officially discovered, much to the surprise of the penguins who were already living there.

Meanwhile, thousands of years ago, the exiled brain who had violated his trust, spent many years attempting to build a starship so he could return to the Brain Empire and thereby end his exile. But all attempts failed due to a lack of natural resources, (particulary chocolate), although he did manage to put on an interesting fireworks display which was seen on Earth thousands of years later, thereby inspiring the building of the first of the so-called "Great Pyramids".

Mystified by his own ineptitude, the deranged brain finally resigned himself to a life without ice cream. No strawberry sundaes, no root beer floats, and especially no banana splits, although these confectionary delicacies would come much later.

[GreenTea]

[cmc]

Many centuries later some would still refer to the above pictured dessert as: "Out of this world!"

[GreenTea]

[GreenTea]

Having exiled the deranged brain from the Empire of the Brain Planet, the elders once again turned their thoughts towards Earth. Some thought they should send a chocolate comet to try and cover the newly created BFZ. Others thought that a nut filled asteroid would be more appropriate. Still others felt that enough damage had been done and that the BFZ should simply be left alone. Everyone agreed that no matter what was decided, a large cherry should probably be involved.

They continued to deliberate for another 3,542 and 1/2 years before galactic events removed the choice from them... For you see, that was when the peptide nebula was first spotted, and it was on a fast moving but inexorable path to completely engulf the Earth, and indeed, the entire solar system.

Very soon the planet would experience a bursting forth of life as you know it, and many hoped that cherries would indeed emerge spontaneously as a result.

[cmc]

The prolonged debate over which type of chocolate to use to cover the BFZ and the resulting taste tests, caused a chocolate bean shortage. The politics of dark vs light; truffes vs cordials; carmels vs creme filled continued to generate rifts in the once peaceful society.

There simply was not enough usable land on the planet to grow the much needed cocao beans. The many chocolate related issues fueled by chocolate rationing created unstable political, social and economic conditions.

The brain planet and it's people were clearly traveling down a dangerous path....unable to collectively decide what to do.

With supplies running low should they risk sending chocolate filled missles over the BMZ or should they redirect their energy, resources and attention towards more chocolate production?

[GreenTea]

In short, confusion and indecision reigned rampant on the Brain Planet... It was as if the BFZ had somehow transported itself, freezing the minds of the elders.

[GreenTea]

Eventually war broke out on the Brain Planet between two factions, the Confectionist Perfectionists and the Wholesale Dessert Guild. The Gluttonous Tasters played both sides against each other, demanding that each come up with a better and more delicious use for the BFZ.

At first the Cocao Trade Union enjoyed a period of unmitigated prosperity. Demand for chocolate increased, but soon they could not keep up with the demand and the Sundae Factories were left unstocked. As supplies dwindled, shipments were hijacked and the remaining reserves were hidden away and used to create the free-range Coco Clones.

The elder brains, their minds frozen by ice cream hypnarcosis, stood by and did nothing.