Penny for your thoughts number 59

[liesagain]

Okay I will start but Palm can you add the rest I forget how it started?

Thanks!!!!

[liesagain]

hello everyone

So sorry I have checked in its been hectic to say the least

But I have great news and its ALL about ME!!

I have done so well today and I am so excited about it I talked our poor Cinders ear off tonight ( when she called to check on me) poor thing barely got a word in!!!! Sorry Cinder but thank you for letting me go on and on!!

Anyhow guys You will not believe how great I am doing.............when I was finally strong enough to say NO finally strong enough to say what will be will be
and when I started looking at what are his choices and which are mine................I feel relief and contentment with where I am today

right now hes sleeping in his truck in a parking lot but thats ok because he got himself there

I have spoken with him many times today and sometimes after I hung up I had to have a good cry but then, I hear you guys in my head........hes doing this NOT ME
he made his choice not me

and I think finally today I understand detachment really truely understand, and its so odd how clear it is right now..............not easy but clear

I am turning him over to my HP and to himself................and what will be will be

I am okay today not that it doesnt hurt but finally I feel strong ( I was wondering where she went the one who wouldnt take anything from anyone the one who could also handle whatever came her way.........well shes peeking out she really is )

Tomorrow my entire family will be away to be with my sister as she has my nephew.........and I will be home because its a planned delivery and AH expected me to be leaving so under the circumstances I just cant my sister says she understands and agrees so that ok but I'm alittle sad that I wont be there for the event, plus my daughter is going and I really wanted to see her..........but its ok I'm doing the right thing for now, ( I think)
so the point of all that is.................I'll have more time tomorrow and I'll be able to get here more......

So until then, just wanted to let everyone know I'm good thanks for the prayers and I LOVE you guys!!!

[liesagain]

hello Happy............hope your okay tonight. I havent had time to catch up on the thread...........

[anvilhead]

lies,thank you so much for the update...you sound like you are strong and sure in your position........what THEY do has to stay with THEM.....we have a kingdom to defend, ya know? i will hold you close in my heart.......

[anvilhead]

by the time we got done running all over hell's half acre with evening southbound SUCKA## traffic, looking at the truck, etc, it just got too late for steaks........so hank's in there destroying the kitchen as only he can making do..........i'm still full from split pea soup and tuna casserole!

hank's buddy nick, the one that talked him in to coming out here to seattle, and his old lady and dog are coming up tomorrow to see the new digs, check out the truck (rick is a serious mechanic.....used to drive race cars etc.........back in wisconsin) so i'm trying to kinda tidy up and get the downstair bedroom ready for them etc.....that man could stab me in the foot and i'd still love him to death for being the catalyst the gave hank and i the chance to cross paths......that woulda been tricky with him in wisconsin and me in washington......!!!!

still got a dog up for grabs.......oh wait, look at that sweet pooch on the couch now..............

[liesagain]

ya know it really is okay, I believe 100% that this is the right thing not only for me and the kids but for him to

and a few times today he really tried me, he said I am done I give up .......I didnt say a word then he asks .......what? and I said I didnt say anything, are you asking what I'm thinking and he said yes
I said I'm thinking its a shame your willing to give up so soon, and that if you were out looking for crack I bet you dont give up this fast..........but hey its your choice not mine

he got annoyed and hung up but guess what he called back later with better plans for himself

And when its really hard for me or I start to feel bad, I say to myself....................
he left a clean home, a warm soft bed and a pantry full of food ...............he went to a crack house with no power and he didnt care until the money was gone and he was coming down SO I cannot care now, these are his choices and the results of his actions not mine

[liesagain]

great Anvil I hope you guys have a good time with the visit I bet it will feel great to show off all your hard work and such beautiful results

[liesagain]

well goodnight anvil and happy

I am gonna grab a shower and settle down with the girly movie I bought myself today...........
oh yeah and did I mention I also bought myself a new set of sheets and a comforter set............I did
some women love shoes I love sheets and comforters...........weird I know

But hey WOULD you belive I got a KING size comforter/quilt from target .............with the pillow shams FOR $12.95

I did Couldnt believe it myself

Night!!

[liesagain]

happy I'm with you on the whole bathing suit thing..........actually rather than getting in double trouble for making me run...........well my kid might have drowned because I'm not so sure I would have ran.................just kidding I'd run for them but yes lots of trouble for that one!!!

[Impurrfect]

morning everyone!

About to go to sleep, but wanted to drop by here first!

Lies - you sound great! Keep taking care of YOU and let him deal with his issues.

Connie - thanks for the e-mail list. I forgot to answer your question yesterday - no, I'm NOT a serial killer....unless you count the cell phones I've killed here recently

Hope everyone has a fabulous Friday....you are at the end of your work-week, and I'm just beginning!

[kj0975]

I got a swimsuit story for you guys.

When I was younger my best friend fell off her bike right by my house and broke her arm. I jumped off my bike to get my mom and she was at the pool in the backyard. She refused to go look at my friend cause she thought I was just joking and trying to get her to run down the street in her swimsuit My mom is a nurse so finally after getting hysterical my mom ran down the street in her swimsuit and helped my friend. So she didnt want anyone to see her either.

[cookconfay]

ARGHH So early in the morning, get on here and it's SWIMSUITS? Are you kidding me?
:rof I don't go ANYWHERE in mine! Not sure why I even have one???

FRIDAY ... Yep, that's right I said....FRIDAY! Repeat after me....F-R-I-D-A-Y, oh and lest I forget...uh, it's also PAYDAY! Payday Friday, does it get any better?

I'm so far ok today, the above two circumstances probably have a LOT to do with that. Neck, yeah...it's stiff, it's probably just old age, cuz it's supposed to be really cold today and snow/ice/rain crap later and tomorrow. WTF? Oh, and I'm sure there will be WIND.

Ya'll have a good one.....Peace be with yous....

[kj0975]

TGIF well I made it to work and dont have any motivation to do anything. Connie payday fridays are 100x's better than just regular fridays.

Lies your handling yourself great just keep reminding yourslef that this is all HIS doing. Your doing a great job!!!

[Palm Tree]

Good morning - Happy 5% FRIDAY........WOOOHOOOOOO


be right back....

[Japic05]

good morning to the mafiaoso - how honored I am that I could break bread with you this morning -

Ok - i'm going a little to far with this mafia thing - but I LOVE mafia shows - duh - of course I'm attracted to the BAD guys - to the wrong people - the romance of the dangerous life style -

This my friends, is why I keep coming back - I'm sick, sick, sick!!!!!!!!!

BUT physically I am feeling better tried out the ole protein thingy at Wally World yesterday (which of course was packed with people buy the Valentines things - GROSS) anyway - bought a Vanilla Chai Tea, Mocca Cappacino thing & a Rasberry Apple Vitamin Water) - the water was pretty good - drank it last nite at Block, this morning I'm drinkin the Van.Chai Tea thingy - not so great - i'm trying - but to be honest don't think i'm gonna be able to make even a 1/4 of the 15.2 oz bottle - I just can't make myself drink something I don't like the taste of - makes me want to "HURL"

Anyway, it is Friday, payday for me for both jobs, my boss leaves at 11:00 - pretty good day for me huh?

Oh by the way, impurrfect - i've missed a lot due to sickness - don't know if I've ever welcomed you to "The Family" - so "welcome & so very glad you are with us"

how's everyone else this mornin?

[kj0975]

Rita I dont think your taking it too far at all. Do they make a peanut butter drink for you? That is what u really need. Oh thank goodness its 5% friday I think I can actually do that. Great just got more work brought to me. Job security.

I really do love my job......

[Japic05]

and I also wanted to say
"lies, you go girl - kno you are busy with all this stuff, but do you have time to be my hero?"
so glad for you - praying that your life continues to grow spiritual, in recovery and in all the blessings that you deserve - One Day At A Time.

[Japic05]

Originally Posted by kj0975

Rita I dont think your taking it too far at all. Do they make a peanut butter drink for you? That is what u really need.

thank you!! - I'm if you can put peanut butter inside chocolate for a Reese cup, swirl peanutbutter with jelly in a jar, mix pb with ice cream, oh bright inventors out there - how hard would it be to come up with a protein drink peanut butter flavored WITHOUT a banana flavoring added!!
(cause we kno I'm way to picky to like bananas)

think I'm gonna have to stick to PB & J sandwiches - heck I'm drinking 2% milk with my poptarts - what more can they ask for????

ok - play time over for me - gotta hit the ole grind stone - try to catch ya'll later around noon.

[liesagain]

wow rita thanks........but you and many others here are already my heros!!! I'm just trying to learn from the best

glad your getting a bit better........hope your 100% soon

[anvilhead]

hey-lo - quick check in, sounds like everyone is in pretty good spirits, all things considered! that makes me happy! hank and i have sorta decided to both call in today and get the house ready for visitors etc...rig up some additional fence by the water so bucky doesn't impress reason (nick's dog) with his escape skills, pick up poodle doodles, get the downstairs habitable, shine up the palace etc......i will need to make a run into town regardless to get fundage out of the bank for the truck purchase. nick will go with hank to check it out this afternoon, as i said he's a automotive guru so we'll feel much better with his stamp of approval.........tomorrow the plan is for the four of us to trek down to the homeshow........since we both bought houses recently etc......it's almost eerie how our lives have kind of mirrored each other.....both couples went thru some rough times in the first few years together, things getting worse before getting better, then starting to wake up and get serious about acting like adults etc, making work a priority, getting a dog, buying a house.......nick will always have a special place in my heart for being a catalyst for hank and i to meet........anywho, gotta go send an email to work, re-up on coffee etc...........

[cookconfay]

I'm not having company per se.....Gracie is having a friend over tomorrow. I am going to start dragging stuff out of my bedroom and off the walls cuz I want it textured different than I did it over 5 yrs ago and then painted with the same color. I love my bedding and scarves on the windows just want the walls re-done. So......sis is going to do that for me and I'm thinking of glazing it with a sheer/translucent goldish stain. Hard to describe. But I feel it will look better than the way it is now. When I redid it the last time with this color, I used that gritty pour sand in sort of texture...sux. I did do the window facings and crown molding and door facing a tiny shade darker so it does look good color wise it's just that rough stuff I'm sooooo sick of.

[kj0975]

Connie that sounds like it will look nice when its all done. I wish I had a house that I could paint and decorate the way I like. Thats the downfall on renting is you cant do much to it.

Anvil sounds like your day off is gonna be more work than work. At least its stuff u want to do rather than have to do. You 2 will have a nice weekend hangin out with friends I like that kinda stuff.

Anyone hear from cindi? Hope everything is ok for her.

[anvilhead]

oh guys, the sky is on fire!!!! blazing pinks and oranges...we just got bucky settled down so i can't go trotting out with the camera, cuz he'll get all worked up again, so you'll just have to trust me on this!!!! i fear if i say "oh honey look NOW" one more time hank's gonna throw ME outside!

connie that sounds like such a fun project........quite the decorative flair there!

[cookconfay]

Thanks ya'll, just wish I could do it all by myself, but with Gracie, that is just impossible, plus my sis needs the cash. I'll pay her to do it.

My bedroom is the smaller of the bedrooms, but it has the biggest closet and that's why I took it when I moved in 12 or so years ago.

[Japic05]

I sent Cindi an email just a minute or two ago - hopefully we will hear from her soon.

now that I feel better - boy having a tough time - concentrating on work - just want to visit with ya'll and catch up on my email (oops) not a good thing.

just talked to my mom - she's having a rough day - today is 4 yrs ago my step-dad passed away. He & my mom weren't married any longer, but they were sharing their home and she was his primary care giver - he had several medical issues. I loved him, he was truly a great dad to me, and a wonderful Papa to my girls (even my step-daughters), it was rough when we were young cause he too had a drinking problem, but managed to over come that and let the better part of himself come thru. But I don't focus on his death, grieve for him constantly - my mom, bless her heart, she does - even tho she is & has been remarried to my Dad for 15 yrs - but she grieves on everyone's death's anniversary. Her parents, aunts, uncles, hate that she can't let go of that pain - not open to another way - must be very sad in her heart. very scared to not be able to let go and try something else.
Makes me have more grief for her than for the loss of my step-dad - I know he's at peace & no longer suffering from the illnesses he had all his life - she on the other hand still suffers.

Please God keep me open minded to your healing and to changing my outlook.