The Whines Continue From Here. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...whines-25.html (Whiners Anonymous ... Part 222 ~ "Endless Summer Whines")
Thank you for the new title, Least!
Whiners Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience,
strength and hope with each other,
that they may solve their whining problems and help others to recover from whinerism.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop whineing.
There are no dues or fees for W.A. membership;
we are self-supporting through our own contributed whines.
W.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, institutions,
TV, radio, or Oprah Book of the Month Club!
does not wish to engage in any controversy, yeah right!,
neither endorses nor opposes any causes.
Our primary purpose is to stop whine'n and help other whineaholics to achieve non whineity.
Whiners Anonymous Help (WAH!)
Do you whine, complain, or snivel? Are you a grumpy old fart?
Do you seek out others in taverns or internet chat rooms to whine about things?
Do people ever tell you to "like it or lump it"?
Are you asked, "What are you crying about?"
Do friends or family seem less likely to talk to you as the years go by?
Do you constantly tell other people they whine too much?
If you do any of these things, you may be in need of the WAH! 12 step program.
Whining is for tiny tots! Do you want to die a lonely old man/woman and whine about the prospect?
Stop whining now!
The WAH! 12 Step Program:
1. Admit you whine.
Just say, "I am a whiner."
2. Admit your whining is a problem.
It's not enough to know you whine--you have to realize it interferes with your life. Tell yourself, your spouse, and a friend that you have a problem with whining, that all you have ever done is whine. But don't whine to God! He already knows, all too well. God just sat back while you whined away the years. It's not His fault, after all, so don't go whining to Him with your problem.
3. Seek help to cure your whining.
Whining is but one of your many shortcomings, since you are a miserable excuse for a human being. Another shortcoming is you can't do anything for yourself, otherwise you would not whine. Go whine to somebody to help you--that's all you know how to do, remember?
4. Laugh at your whine.
Made a decision to turn your constant whining over to your sense of humor and learn to "lovingly and wholeheartedly" laugh at yourself each time you whine. Be prepared to be given the nickname "Loony Tunes," however.
5. Step out of your shoes.
Put your whine in perspective. There's a woman in Africa living in a mud hut with a grass roof and NO indoor plumbing. She lives off of $27 a year. She is totally blind and collects sticks for firewood, hoping the next stick isn't a snake. Now, what was your whine again?
6. Eat something nasty.
Eat some vegetable you hate without whining about the taste. And don't hold your nose or cover it with cheese!
7. Listen to other whiners.
Get a part job in a complaint department and listen to other peoples' whines 8 hours a day. But don't complain about your job! If you do, go back to step 3. Go a whole week listening to your wife/husband complain and just say "yes dear." If you can't, go back to step 2. Have kids and listen to them whine--that's how you sound to others. Pay back time! What goes around, comes around!
8. Make a victim list.
Make of list of all persons you thought you had harmed and hope to hell that they'd forgotten all the minuscule crap you'd blown out of proportion. Ask them if you ever whined, and then be prepared to take the return whine.
9. Beat the crap out of your parents.
After all, they raised a whiner. Yes, you started early, but it is not your fault!
10. Beware of falling off the wagon.
Resign yourself to the fact you are going to whine each time you try to stick to your guns when you know you are right. Once a whiner, always a whiner, they say. So either just admit your are wrong or go back to step 1. Cripes, you mean you really want to go back to step 1 after getting to step 10?
11. Whine to your dog.
They love you no matter how much you whine. It's called unconditional love. Unless of course they sense your foul mood. Disguise your whine by mixing the words "good dog" in every sentence. They only know so many words--those two they know. Otherwise, your dog would hate you like all the people you know.
12. Help others.
Help some other whiney-assed basstard with his whine problem. You get to whine about their whining. It's great.
so have at it!
whine, snivle, rant, bitch, and rave away!!!
W.A. Disclaimer; just be prepared for the results
12 Promises of WA
If we are painstaking about developing our whining techniques, we will be amazed at how proficient we become at expressing our dissatisfaction with people, places, and things that irk us.
1. We are going to know a new freedom of expression.
2. We will realize it's phony to pretend happiness when we just aren't feeling it.
3. We will not regret our whines nor wish to deny their validity.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know the peace of unburdening ourselves by sharing our whines at WA.
5. No matter how far down in the dumps we feel, we will see how our experience can benefit our fellow whiners.
6. That Pollyanna feeling of "la-dee-da, la-dee-da" will disappear.
7. We will set our own whines aside as we realize someone else's whine may be more deserving of our emotional support .
8. Self-centeredness will not be as prevalent, as we share and compare whining.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon ordinary blahs in general, and whining in particular will take on a new meaning.
10. Fear of being recognized and/or ostracized as a Chronic Whiner will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know that healthy whining is not to be stifled, but shared with others like ourselves.
12. We will suddenly realize that sharing a good whine can be very cathartic and we no longer need to whine alone.
Are these unreasonable promises? We think not. Whining has become our way of dealing with adversities--sometimes major, sometimes petty--and knowing our whines will not go unnoticed will work towards reducing the tensions produced by life's little speedbumps.
The Twelve Traditions of Whiner's Anonymous
1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon W.A. unity.
2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—the owners, Administrators and Moderators, Greeters and Members of this site as they may express themselves in our group conscience.
3. Our leaders are but trusted servants;but they do govern. The only requirement for W.A. membership is SR membership and a desire to share some whiny ESH.
4. This group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other whiners or W.A.as a whole.
5. Each group has but one primary purpose—to whine about things in a safe environment, have fun, blow off steam and then let it go while moving onward in recovery.
6. A W.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the W.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise,lest those who do not wish to whine or read other people's whines divert us from our primary purpose.
7. Every W.A. group ought to not to be fully self-supporting, and gratefully accept this venue given to us for the purpose of whining.
8. Whiner's Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our all of our whiners shall remain as special workers.
9. W.A., as such, ought never be organized; because they need to whine about the ups and downs of their lives.
10. Whiner's Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; because most people on the outside ignore whiners anyway.
11. Our public relations policy is based on whining rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of real life if that is what we choose.
12. Anonymity of screen names is optional for those who choose to use real names ever reminding us to place principles before personalities, and respect those from other fellowships. What we whine about here stays forever on the internet.