House guest is irritating me

[katie44]

Not sure where to post this. really need to vent this one. It's trivial but really irking. My daughter asked if her and BF could move home for a few months. They both have student loans to pay off. I was quite excited she lives 3000 miles away. She needs to get loan pd. off to do her masters degree. I told her yes they would each have to pay 150.00 each a month. Thats nothing I just thought it would cover the extra hydro, gas phone and internet. They would also have to buy groceries. Not alot considering they had an apartment. I explained to them that my spouse and I were in a bad way. Business is on verge of bankruptcy. All my bills are in the arrears, the stress is enough to make me want to drop. Not to mention the problems we have had with AS. My daughter is used to us having a fairly good life style. Like many of us ours took a turn for the worse. Contemplating bankruptcy soon. Whats irking me is BF. He found a job here brings home 750.00 a week. On sundays he buys all his lunch snacks for the week. Other then that no laundy soap, nothing. They have been here 2 months and have bought no dinner meat. My spouse goes in to the fridge and he will eat the last of whatever. BF is a hard worker, very very nice person almost too nice. daughter cant find a job she is really trying. I can not afford to feed these two mostly him. I am ashamed the way I feel. I have always been very giving. The thing is my grocery bill has doubled daughter eats like a sparrow. Bf is banking every cent he makes he has no credit card debt only a small loan. Okay I am going on and on. I am embarrassed to say anything, but dont you think a 25 year old should be contributing more. He will eat the last piece of bread and not replace it. We have been out for dinner twice and he wont offer to pay. There is something very annoying about him. Need some feedback please?
thankyou for reading my silly posting. By the way everything my daughter and he does is 50/50 Oh but BF goes out and buys a 60.00 haloween costume. Maybe the problem is 2 years ago I was footing the bill for everthing. He even used the last of my shoe repellent and put it back in the cupboard empty.

[nandm]

What is the saying "house guest are like fish, both start to stink in about a week."

Just trying to put a bit of humor in your situation. You are in a tough spot. Trying to help your daughter out yet trying to survive yourself. Have you considered CODA (Co-dependents Anonymous)? They can teach you some great skills to deal with your current situation. Good luck and keep us posted on how things work out.

[teke]

well, i think maybe let him/them know how you feel. maybe together they will understand and began to do better. its your house, your rules. jmo

[XYZ]

You have to speak to your daughter who then needs to speak to her BF.
I think they both need to realise nothing in life is free so they need (not should) NEED to contribute.
Don't feel bad, talk to them.
Good luck.