Public Farting (humor me...)

[Bamboozle]

Okay, so I have the maturity of an eight year old.

I don't have any stories to share myself...I run to the restroom to fart.


Anyone have any funny/embarrassing stories to tell? I know you do, windy.

PF stories always make me laugh...and I think that laughter is a good thing.

[Lenina]

Bam,

My brother is famous for farting in elevators with me. His usual reaction is "Oh for God's sake, Lenina!" Of course, I get the sneers of fellow passengers. He also does this in stores or whenever he can. I swear that man can fart the Star Spangled Banner on demand!

Love,

Lenina

[Aysha]

Thats the Bam I know!!

Grams gets the walkin farts in walmart all the time.
I had a stomach virus a month ago. And we were in the garden center. And I let a SBD one and when it hit my gram and my lil cousin. I thought they were gonna puke. I almos got sick myself. I killed it.
we all just busted out laughin so hard.
And that thing wouldnt go away. It had stayin power.
Stomach virus really gave it some juice. LOL

[Cleansing]

Im a paranoid farter. I walk around with my earphones on a lot, and i have gas all the time, so i can't really hear the farts. So Im letting off these powerful farts which I'm pretty sure must make some noise. I find myself looking around everytime to see if anybody heard it.

[Live]

my daughter and I were in a store and we were in an aisle looking at something for the house that I just couldn't make up my mind about. I mosied on and daughter was shortly behind me...then I expressed doubt and wanted to go back and look again and she was like oh no, Mom you don't want to do that and grabbed me by the arm..not to be deterred I went back a couple of aisles...and she had left the most noxious stinking cloud of smart fellers..oooooeee...it put tears in our eyes and we burst out laughing so loudly the whole store had their attention on us untl we were crying uncrontably with laughter and had to leave the store to get our composure back.
that has been a few years ago and I still crack up almost to tears...the looks on her face.....omg....trying to divert me and then that smirk when it hit....ROFLMAO

[Bamboozle]

How could I forget!


My brother used to sit on my head and fart when we were little. He would sit there long enough so I'd have to breathe in the stench or suffocate. Wait...who am I kidding? In that situation I suffocated whether I was breathing or not.

And his farts were rank. Still are, actually. He and my mother always clear a room.


Maybe that is why my brain is so messed up.

[Bamboozle]

Funny stuff, people. Keep 'em coming. This isn't a smell-o-vision, so you're safe.

[Live]

and, of course there is the long-standing "pull my finger" ruse....which I fell for everytime with a some what muscially farting exbf.

[Aysha]

I have made people puke before with mine..LMAO>
I was driving and one of my friends was with me. I had just eaten chinese food. I let one go and he literally jumped out of the car at a stop sign and started puking. I never laughed so hard. He had tears running all over his face and he just kept heaving. LMAO!!

[Samdon]

My son can let them off on demand. I won't let him fart around me, but when he is bored will let one off in class until the teacher can't stand it any more and will instruct him to leave the class each time he 'feels the need' - which depending on the class is quite often... He is very bad at doing in the supermarket and just walking on ... the smell is awful - even worse if he is in the car!

[endzoner]

while visitinjg my mom in the hills of South Dakota for several days my husband got the nick name SIr farts-alot .... seems the water there is so clean and pure it had a big affect on his tummy and gave him swamp azz.. I think in a hours time we counted 50 plus .. not just you lil of poofs but the ones that make the pictures vibrate on the walls , needless to say he was forced to sit outside and watch Tv thu the screen on the door , and we got him bottled water , he is no longer aloud to drink the water in the hills while there ...

[itisatruth]

Originally Posted by Bamboozle

My brother used to sit on my head and fart when we were little. He would sit there long enough so I'd have to breathe in the stench or suffocate. Wait...who am I kidding? In that situation I suffocated whether I was breathing or not.

My husband and his brothers do that to each other. STILL. All boys in the family. All boys in men's bodies. Guess they just bond over the farts. :P

Other things they do:

If there is an itercom/microphone available in a store, they will pick it up and fart over the intercom.

Walk up to some unsuspecting person (usually a kid) and fart then walk away, hide around the corner and watch the reactions.

They have names for their farts and have these sort of contests....poor "J" is known as the one who can never compete with the rest!

Light their farts (I'm sure this has to be dangerous in some way).

Now, my brother-in-law has a couple boys...he bought them a fart machine and they let them go around public places and make it go off. It is funny to see people's reactions - most are good-natured about in thankfully.

Their mom and us wives are pretty used to it by now. Guess you could say we have a high fart tolerance!!

[Bamboozle]

[Faerie]

Thanks Bam, that cracked me up.

My best farting story involves my uncle K who lives in England.

K is a operating theatre nurse and looks like Moby. [so much he gets asked for autographs]

K is a chronic farter and is quite disgusting and always proud of his emissions.

K was in the operating theatre during a procedure farting his SBD'lys quite happily for about 30 mins.

Eventually the chief surgeon yells out "Whomever is creating that disgusting smell please cease and desist"

K didn't, I don't think he could help it.

The surgeon finally worked out it was K and I kid you not,

Surgeon headbutted K and knocked him out.

At least he stopped farting.....

Fortunately K finds this story very funny and is quite proud he pissed the surgeon off so much, lol.

Faerie x

[TooMuchRum]

I love farting in public!

[NewBeginning010]

OMG check out the third video at 2:45 lmao

[Aysha]

My ex and his brother were ligting farts one day. So they had the bright idea to light one in the cat's face. The poor cats whiskers got singed...Dumb asses..LOl..It was funny tho. But poor kitty. I remember that same boyfriend told me I was the girl for him one night we were in bed and I accidentally let one go. It was when we first started dating. I was so embarrassed. but he loved it!! LOL We were together almost 4 yrs and almost had a baby together. Man..If thats all it takes to win a guys heart. I should be quite popular.

[Latte]

Years ago I was in the Coast Guard. We were all sitting in what they called the Rec. Deck (had a pool table, fire place, etc.) Anyway, we were in there for training (I can't even remember what it was for, but it was this demure Lt. from the Group). This training was really boring and one of my best friends was sitting on the other side of the room. Now there was a group of us that hung around together pretty regularly (we were all single) so I had been around when Rich had farted in the past. Usually it was not while we were in meetings, it was usually when we were out on the boats (small boats like the one in my AV). Anyway, he cleared the room. People just started getting up and leaving. Now if you know anything about the military..when there is a training you don't just leave. The person doing the training was trying to figure out what the heck was going on. All of a sudden...you could see her get a full whiff. That poor Lt. was running out the back door. She knocked on the window and said, "break time". Ya think? I think we finished the training out front. No one wanted to go back in there, not even the Rich. Ahhh, good times.