http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/ Online Support Groups for Addicts, Alcoholics and their Family, Friends and Loved Ones. Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:14:15 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/1873-over-4-months.html Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:48:31 GMT Ok so thats excellent. Unfortunately my gambkling problem is bigger than i thought and in the short time i have been sober have lost €40000 which is a great move. I am determined not to gamble at all... Ok so thats excellent. Unfortunately my gambkling problem is bigger than i thought and in the short time i have been sober have lost €40000 which is a great move. I am determined not to gamble at all anymore which is going to be strange! I have just started to get some money together and this is normally when i would gamble again!

Am starting to attend AA meetings, work is a bit up and down so not sure which country i will be in for april and that will determine where i spend my next 6 months of AA meetings. ]]> yeahgr8 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/1873-over-4-months.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/1625-old-music.html Mon, 05 Jan 2009 20:31:00 GMT wow i have started remembering all the old artists and songs! betty boo prodigy - fire etc cool! i hate youtube normally at least it has one good use! wow i have started remembering all the old artists and songs!

betty boo
prodigy - fire
etc

cool! i hate youtube normally at least it has one good use! ]]> yeahgr8 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/1625-old-music.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/1619-2009.html Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:50:12 GMT So a new year! I am so excited about this year and want to do so much, the following are things i want to do for now: 1. start spanish lessons 2. quit smoking 3. get fit again 4. read more 5.... So a new year! I am so excited about this year and want to do so much, the following are things i want to do for now:

1. start spanish lessons
2. quit smoking
3. get fit again
4. read more
5. get a back tattoo
6. save money
7. do well at work

Will read this periodically and see where i am! ]]> yeahgr8 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/1619-2009.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/1482-40-days-sober.html Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:20:54 GMT Well i feel very sad reading my blog posts from earlier on this year. What a complete mess i was and remained being for most of this year. I started the new job in barcelona and kept drinking. I... Well i feel very sad reading my blog posts from earlier on this year. What a complete mess i was and remained being for most of this year.

I started the new job in barcelona and kept drinking. I found myself drinking a certain amount each night, a 5/6 cans of lager and then as much wine as i needed, approx 1.5 bottles, then maybe some food maybe not.

Anyways I was at the bottom, I was starting to think about ending it all as it was not really living which is a fair assessment both then and looking back so i went online and found an alcohol counseller in spain (NEST if you are in this area), obviously i had nothing left to lose so i attended my first session and have been back regularly attending 2 a week, which i wil continue well into the future.

I was the psychiatrist too who prescribed seroxat (paxil in US) which is an anti depressant, antabuse (which makes you sick if you drink alcohol) and a medication for alcholol withdrawl usually prescibed for holspital use. I took the first two but was worried when i googled the last and found out it came with a warning of to only be administered with hospital supervision and was addictive, as it happens i did not have great withdrawls from alcohol, just the usual anxiety, sweating, insomneia and feeling like crap all the time for the first 2 weeks (feeling like crap does continue for about 4-6 weeks give or take but i was all ready to plan my suicide so it didnt bother me that much and was better than drinking).

The counselling is important to me as i am thinkign about stuff i never had to deal with whilst drinking, The anti depressants have worked and i was lucky enough not to have any side effects with the first pills i was presecribed (if you do get side effects on first pills they change your prescritpion and try another).

An important thing for me is that it was explained that i was self medicating with alcohol which made a lot of sense as i had got to an almost exact amoount each night which seemed to be as much as i needed. Don't get me wrong i had all the black outs etc too so i was not a part time alchie!

I am the happiest i have ever been and know it is early days, I have had no cravings for alcohol and a friend of mine came up last weekend who drinks and i went out with him and was happy to drink coffee. Obviously i got rid of all my ****wit drinking buddies, i have 2 friend sleft who both know my situation and support me, he even made jokes about me not drinking as i am quite a big guy so y´know, who would have though he was gay (in a nice way and not meaning to be taking the p*** out of homosexuals...its an english thing!!!).

What else, well i did gamble a lot when drinking, i have manage to knock that on the head too, i went to a place i always used drink and gamble at for a week, lost about 10k euros playing fruit machines, was no fun whatsoever and really feel like that is my last lapse...i was playing them all week without booze, hangovers etc and i just felt nothing, no enjoyment no exiheration, nothing just a waste of time really. I look back on it as a lesson learned (please at this point i just want to point out it doesnt matter the amount, it cvould have been €50 it is just that i was gambling). i don't regret it other than i could have used that money in a much better way, could have helped someone else etc. and do not want to do it again but i don't feel this in a guilty, remourceful way because that is, i think, jjust being selfish and self pityful anyway, but in a complete waste of time way, hope that makes sense?

I just wanted to say, to myself and if anyone comes accross this, that i am the happiest i have ever been and if you are worried by going to a counseller and taking medication, do not be as you have nothing to lose. I have not been to AA, but if i need to in the future i will. I wish you all every success but the fact is that I am one of the lucky ones and i know it, i just hope that some of you can be as fortunate. I cannot believe how different life can be, I could write lots more...

Good luck all! ]]> yeahgr8 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/1482-40-days-sober.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/639-quick-one.html Fri, 18 Apr 2008 22:14:36 GMT Wow drinking is a great friend (not) anyway start new job in different country in 2 days time...so bored of my own voice!

Anyone reads this, you're f***ed with it, if you think you have a problem in anyway you have a problem!

yawn, hopefully my next post will be more useful...tonight was...hmm...4 beers...half bottle of champagne...1 bottle of wine...demolishing the next!

45 fags so far! and i don't mean gays for us peeps;-) ]]> yeahgr8 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/639-quick-one.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/488-fallen-3rd-day-jeez.html Sat, 22 Mar 2008 20:19:23 GMT Ok, I have had a drink, and not just a little, will explain the day... Friend came round and had to go to work at 4pm, went for quick drive knowing that i should not drink, got home and then went... Ok, I have had a drink, and not just a little, will explain the day...

Friend came round and had to go to work at 4pm, went for quick drive knowing that i should not drink, got home and then went out on bike, then back again!

I had no money on me but people know me by face so went and got 10 cans of beer (small - yeah like that makes a difference) and a bottle of white wine...1st beer -shouldnt be doing this, btw cliff you will be wankered when you go to bed - yeah i know - ok then on your head be it!

OK so 6 beers later, 1 bottle of wine...just been out to get another with great success!

About the 43rd ciggie of the day, feeling pretty pi**ed...

If you read this you would hate me 37 yrs old no kids no marriages and an income way beyond normal with the opportunity to work well...wherever...but...

jeez i don't want to go into the amount of money that has gone through drinking and gambling over last 7 years (enough to retire, let's just say that)...(sorry about all the ...)

Oh man i am drunk listening to music imagining the person i could be so i dunno.

THis has all become a way of life for me and i was warned by lots of people but i don't know any different...

I would not give a bucket of pi** for my memories and i know that alot of people would but i would not!

It is so embarassing to be a drunk/juicehead whoever you are i guess!

I have cut off my family from this, 3 months ago, i just feel that i need to get away from all the 'help', it's so easy to get in trouble then go back and get out again (i'm talking financial obviously not drinking).

Anyways completely lost and i hate you all but love you all at the same time....i don;t need anyone's help...right? ]]> yeahgr8 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/488-fallen-3rd-day-jeez.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/487-fallen-3rd-day-jeez.html Sat, 22 Mar 2008 20:17:58 GMT Ok, I have had a drink, and not just a little, will explain the day... Friend came round and had to go to work at 4pm, went for quick drive knowing that i should not drink, got home and then went... Ok, I have had a drink, and not just a little, will explain the day...

Friend came round and had to go to work at 4pm, went for quick drive knowing that i should not drink, got home and then went out on bike, then back again!

I had no money on me but people know me by face so went and got 10 cans of beer (small - yeah like that makes a difference) and a bottle of white wine...1st beer -shouldnt be doing this, btw cliff you will be wankered when you go to bed - yeah i know - ok then on your head be it!

OK so 6 beers later, 1 bottle of wine...just been out to get another with great success!

About the 43rd ciggie of the day, feeling pretty pi**ed...

If you read this you would hate me 37 yrs old no kids no marriages and an income way beyond normal with the opportunity to work well...wherever...but...

jeez i don't want to go into the amount of money that has gone through drinking and gambling over last 7 years (enough to retire, let's just say that)...(sorry about all the ...)

Oh man i am drunk listening to music imagining the person i could be so i dunno.

THis has all become a way of life for me and i was warned by lots of people but i don't know any different...

I would not give a bucket of pi** for my memories and i know that alot of people would but i would not!

It is so embarassing to be a drunk/juicehead whoever you are i guess!

I have cut off my family from this, 3 months ago, i just feel that i need to get away from all the 'help', it's so easy to get in trouble then go back and get out again (i'm talking financial obviously not drinking).

Anyways completely lost and i hate you all but love you all at the same time....i don;t need anyone's help...right? ]]> yeahgr8 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/487-fallen-3rd-day-jeez.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/481-second-day.html Fri, 21 Mar 2008 19:57:00 GMT Hmm not sure how this works so will have to have a play around...second day off the booze...man that sounds so...argghhh! Feeling nice and anxious, noted by my quick drive on the motorbike where i... Hmm not sure how this works so will have to have a play around...second day off the booze...man that sounds so...argghhh!

Feeling nice and anxious, noted by my quick drive on the motorbike where i am normally care free yet found myself being overtaken by 500cc cars tonight, might give those 'drives' a miss for a bit.

Really don't know what to do with myself at all but at least I am not pi**ed and going out drunk to get some more booze and then at midnight falling off the bike to buy a take away whilst kidding myself that i am sober as a judge, or, just as bad, going to the local casino where i am a VIL (very important loser). I get to sit at my 'friend' the managing directors table whoohoo...psshhh...mind you that was 3 years ago when i actually still mixed drinking with eating...

Trying not to think too much...anyways need to investigate this blog thing befor i write anymore as i'm not sure where this will end up on the site!

First post so no boooring comments please hehe ]]> yeahgr8 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/yeahgr8/481-second-day.html