Letting Go

It is so hard to let go of the past when you feel connected to it by a child. I know no matter what I do, I feel abandoned and that no one who truly loved us would have left us behind. He said that he would come back for us but I know that cannot be because of the actions he is taking to make sure we cannot. He refuses to get help, he doesn't admit his pill use is a problem. He hasn't saved any money from his check this month to send even for formula or diapers. I guess my No Contact will have to be the only thing I have control over in this situation. I love my child so much and I will not offer her to a life of abuse and neglect as I have lived for over a year. I never saw a Dr. with him when I was pregnant except a couple of times and towards the end didn't even get my ultrasound. He ran up debt, lost his new car, got another for free from his Rich cousin and all meanwhile I struggled just to hang on to anything. I was broke paying his way and trying to survive. I knew that I would be going to my moms and that became my hope. Unfortunately I never realized how hard raising a little one alone is and now I am mad at him for leaving. He took the easy road from us but definitely not the high road.