I love all of you so much. Where to start. Okay, Sat night my husband let me go out with some of my girlfriends, we went to eat first then to a bar, then to a club. all of which he knew beforehand and agreed. NOw in the past, he would have sat here brooding, and getting madder and madder, and come up there and dragged me out. Well he didnt do that this time. Instead he spent hours figuring out my passwords and reaading every email, (some of you will remember I had prety close male frineds on here)...

Well, last night I told my husband that we were pretty much over and just faking it through, and he thought that was just fine, he didnt care. It just means that he can further pursue whomever he is screwing at the moment. He called just now and said " I have to work over a couple hours" LOL, like I believe that.

I dont even care anymore. I hope he stays out until I am asleep. I dont want to talk to him see him, nothing. I just hung up on him after he said that,...

Not much going on today. Argued with the hubby today. Pretty good one becuaes the boys were at school so we letif fly. Both of us saying things we shouldnt have. I cried after he stormed out, and after I had told him, that we were slowly falling apart, we werent going to make it and that I was scared. "so, leave then" he said, "go, get out" no mention of trying or trying to be here more. He is gone night and day with work and his basketball games. I think he wants out but wants...

Well, this nice dinner that my husband took me too, was nothing but a firing squad. He blasted me left and right with all kinds of questions. You ever hear the saying its the guilty who are so suspicous.....booyaah. Oh well, got a free meal out of it. We then went to the dollar store, picked up things like candles, (im a candle freak) cleaning supplies (been cleaning like MAD all day, thats how i react to stress) and doing laundry(i find this somehow calming excpet for putting it away in the...

Hi guys, I havent been keeping up with this the way I should have lately. Been feeling a little depressed and guilty. I feel much better now. I think the main reason I was feeling so depressed was guilt. Mostly over my children. I know as addicts most all of us have had some form of guilt and shame. I took tramadol, A LOT of tramadol. Between 20-30 a day for a long long time, using my regular doc, and ordering off the internet to supplement. Its very easy to get and not scheduled (should...