well, after all that rejection from the "friend" I went to lunch with, (and I know that was wrong, I think I justified it becuase my husband cheats and i have women calling here at 2am and anonymous women too) anyway, he is texting me today saying how much he likes me etc. WTF....I dont understand this guy, but I am definately staying away. I have been working on my apperance here lately, I only just realized it. Highlights in my hair, tooth whitening, nails done, tanning. I think...

I dont really know if I have posted this in my thread or not, but I have had a date. Yes, I am married, but he is really an ass and has been so to me for some time. he wants me to dress up when HE wants me to and will even tell me what to wear and how to do my hair. My sisiter says I am a "trophy" to him. I dont know, other than that, we stay in seperate rooms and never talk. Divorce is inevevitable.

So anyway, I went on this "date" of course I would NEVER...

good morning guys.... Just thought I would write a little note. I am soo nervous, I have a date with a male "friend" not cheating, just going out with a friend.

I am so nervous, afraid, my psycho husband will find out and literally, i think he would kill me. He told me before that he would, I dont kow whether to take him seriously or not. I think it will be lots of fun though, he is taking me to lunch and to shop!!! Hooray. He has money, which is always nice, lol. ...

Well, I wrote this morning about how things were with my husband. I have talked to him here at work no less than 5 times today (keep in mind I wrote him a long letter last night) and every time he has talked so gently (he is usually yelling anymore every time we talk) and said I love you 3 or 4 times, and offered to do all kinds of things.

hmmm ....lets see how long this lasts.

to be continued.........

Well, since this is just my little ol' blog, I guess I can ramble about something other than my pain killer addiction for once. I think I have another addiction, and that is the one to my husband. I was told in rehab that I was very co-dependent, always kind of knew that, but here lately its getting crazy.

I am miserable. I mean I really really am. And yet, I cannot stand to not be wanted by him, OR the thought of after our divorce (its eventually going to happen) of him being...