My parents came in town for the weekend. We live a good distance apart and have for sometimes. I've spent a long time secretly blaming them for a lot of things but also subconsciously fearing them in some manner. I found myself reaching a point that led to an epiphany during their visit.

There are certain parts of their personalities and just who they are that will always be. My mother spent a lot of time instilling in me that you can never be happy with anything while my dad...

Wow, so I've had about 4 minutes of free time in the last two weeks but it's been fun because I like the work I do but I've also been coming across information for alcoholics, etc. that really seems self-defeating to me.

I know AA talks about the "higher power" and so many programs and literature is all about just staying away from temptation but there is so much more to learning and believing in yourself (before anything else). Success and failure is so about perception...

I'm finding myself getting emotional for no reason. I'm a dude and quite comfortable with myself but it drives me nuts how there always seems to be that see-saw battle between irrational thoughts and sudden emotions that rear their head.

I was just feeling like **** blaming myself about how if I would have not picked up a drink a little while back then I would still be in a particular relationship.

The irrational thought is that I am taking away the importance of the...

The greatest asset of late for me is being able to take a frustrating situation for what it is, nothing. A lot came my way today but it was just practice. Practice to learn to let go, that my perception of any situation is the problem, not the situation itself. Would have been easy enough to go blow a bunch of money getting drunk watching the cubs lose to the sox (Damn it!) but easy answers feel like cheating at the game which is this life.

And I built a pier a few days ago, seriously....

I realized today that I expect the worst from people. This anticipation is more of a subconscious effort I believe but definitely there. It's not that I expect the worst from people with respect to them doing horrible things. I expect the worst from people in their reaction and treatment of me. This seems a bit of a victim's mentality and I hate that. This translates into a bevy of other issues I need to address.

And I wonder why I develop torrid relationships but its the classic,...