Bottom- a good place to start
Posted 08-22-2008 at 09:28 PM by SelfSeeking
This is not at all the lowest point I've actually been in my life... Certainly I'm not feeling any actual exterior consequences of drinking. But I am drinking tonight after 12 days of sobriety, and 11(?) days after joining SR. SR is my first attempt at talking to ANYONE about my alcoholism. It's my first try at trying to quit with anything on top of my paltry willpower. Tonight I failed.
I'm 1.5 beers in (I'm not very big and I'm a woman), and my body feels drunk, but there's 0 euphoria, which is how my brain usually interprets the presence of alcohol. I feel worse. Looks like maybe alcohol is no longer a get-out-of-jail-free card when it comes to my anxiety.
Depending on when I stop drinking tonight, tomorrow may be day 1 or day 0.
Now everyone on SR knows for a fact what a disappointment I am.
I'm 1.5 beers in (I'm not very big and I'm a woman), and my body feels drunk, but there's 0 euphoria, which is how my brain usually interprets the presence of alcohol. I feel worse. Looks like maybe alcohol is no longer a get-out-of-jail-free card when it comes to my anxiety.
Depending on when I stop drinking tonight, tomorrow may be day 1 or day 0.
Now everyone on SR knows for a fact what a disappointment I am.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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You are not a disappointment Self. You have a disease called alcoholism. Juat don't give up--there is hope!
Posted 08-22-2008 at 10:51 PM by ANGELINA243
- I agree with Angelina - you are not a disappointment. You are exposing the disease of alcoholism which is the essential beginning of your recovery. AA's Step 1 says that once the idea of the malady (the disease of alcoholism) has been planted in the mind of an alcoholic, they will never be the same again. That is why it is not working anymore. We all have to reach that point. My life in recovery blows away my old life. I hope you make it back tomorrow.Posted 01-07-2009 at 08:23 PM by JohnW
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For me the only hard part of sobriety was wanting it in the first place. After all, getting drunk is fun. But it probably isn't as fun as the pleasure centers in my midbrain kept telling me. You know, the one who was always telling me how much my life sucked and I should end it and since I'm going to die anyway, let's get drunk! I'm supposed to trust that guy's judgment?Posted 02-14-2009 at 10:29 PM by fulminouscherub
