Why i call myself raw deal

Hello all, appreciate you stopping to read this.

I am new to this site and i guess i am hoping for a miracle by joining it. I am 22, living at home with two alcoholic parents, who are separated within the house, and never leave the house except to get booze. They dont work as they have both been sacked in the past 5 years for drinking on the job.

My mother is a once-beautiful, venomous, hateful,depressed hermit who sleeps on the couch, never cleans, rarely cooks and spends her days watching hours of tv. My dad is an eccentric failure, a loud arrogant but sensitive man,the black sheep of his privileged family. He was given a huge sum from his late father and partied it away before myself, my brother or sister reached adolescence. On thursday, welfare day, both my parents get about 200 euro each from the dole. Today is thursday.

i work full time but was unfortunate to have today off. i woke at 9am with the usual anxiety, my dad was out, he had rushed to the atm and to the off licence and had skulled a naggin of smirnoff before 10.30, and the rows began with my scottish mother fuming, "Why the **** didnt ya get me drink" so my dad gave her the rest of his booze and went out AGAIN JUST NOW. all before noon. he will get a half bottle of smirnoff this time and a half bottle of the finest bacardi for my mother, and the show will begin. there will be around 6 hours of constant screaming, physical scrapping and screaming HELP!!! EMMA HELP !!! from either parent.
My dad will go out again at 9 ish, and drink through the night, keeping us all awake with his maniac-like screaming and no concept of time. This usually happens like clockwork thursday friday sat and sun, or till the money runs out.

My mother is the most violent, but they both ADORE fighting, always have. It makes them feel alive. But it makes me want to burst. The closest thing to torture i have felt. Its a constant pull at my emotions and my stomach is in a constant twist,i have no safe haven. We have had to call the police on numerous occasions. The furthest it went was a barring order against my dad, but since my weak mother was the one with the authority (being co-owner of the house), she broke and my dad was back in the house that exact day. We (the 3 adult children) are in dispair

I break my bollix (excuse my foul mouth) trying to be a normal, functioning citizen. I am in college studying business and i work 30h a week too. Aside from the roof over my head i am completely independent. Buy my own food, made my way thru school and college without any encouragement, have worked since i was 14, but i am realising i cannot do everything alone. I have a wonderful brother, and a sister who is 24 and she is my heart and soul and knows my every thought and emotion. But she is in the same situation as me. I find it very hard to have a close relationships. My self esteem can go from ridiculously high to rock bottom. Not in such an extreme way as bi polar but i can go from elation to depression very easily.

I feel like i am in a lower league to everyone else because of my non functional parents. I have ridiculous anger problems and find myself punching more walls than a dainty 22 year old should!
The option of moving out is out, i simply cannot afford it while in college.

is there anyone in a worse situation?
or similar? is there a solution??

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