http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/ Online Support Groups for Addicts, Alcoholics and their Family, Friends and Loved Ones. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:50:12 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2385-im-back.html Mon, 27 Jul 2009 02:24:06 GMT hey! I just got back from art camp. It was wonderful and amazing and great and fantastic. im on day 24. so its all good. feeling a bit iffy but thats to be expected.....otherwise i had a great time hey! I just got back from art camp. It was wonderful and amazing and great and fantastic. im on day 24. so its all good. feeling a bit iffy but thats to be expected.....otherwise i had a great time ]]> pearlwolf911 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2385-im-back.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2276-try-3-day-2.html Sat, 04 Jul 2009 19:39:47 GMT I relapsed again after the fireworks on Thursday. I drank. not alot though. I took a few sips and realized that it tasted like crap. gross. I guess thats a good thing? that its gross now. I hope....... I relapsed again after the fireworks on Thursday. I drank. not alot though. I took a few sips and realized that it tasted like crap. gross. I guess thats a good thing? that its gross now. I hope....
So this is try 3 day 2. here we go again.
My dad, brother and I went to the state fair yesterday. It was fun I guess. I felt a little out of it though. even though there were hundreds of people there, I felt a little alone.
Later I was mad. Nothing in particular. Just mad.
Today I'm haing a crohn's fail. My stomach is killing me. So im home alone....trying my best to keep busy.... ]]> pearlwolf911 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2276-try-3-day-2.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2269-fireworks.html Fri, 03 Jul 2009 02:57:00 GMT I just got back from going to see fireworks at my school. everyone was there. ALL my friends. I knew every face. But there was this moment when it was dark and the sparks were lighting up the sky and... I just got back from going to see fireworks at my school. everyone was there. ALL my friends. I knew every face. But there was this moment when it was dark and the sparks were lighting up the sky and my friends were sitting around me....I should have been exstatic. Everything was beautiful and wonderful. but I felt awful. Alone and dark. I saw everyone but I couldnt talk to them. I heard them but couldnt respond. I was in a bubble. Everything was happening AROUND me...not including me. it was kind of terrifying. ]]> pearlwolf911 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2269-fireworks.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2263-alone-again.html Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:32:25 GMT at 16, without a liscense, my parent are off to work and my brother is at camp leaving me alone ALL DAY. 7-4. Im alone and bored. I want to drink. Theres no one home and the cabinet is just calling... at 16, without a liscense, my parent are off to work and my brother is at camp leaving me alone ALL DAY. 7-4. Im alone and bored. I want to drink. Theres no one home and the cabinet is just calling my name. Its too easy. Its as if my parents want me to fail. They set me up so perfectly.
Im mad bored. I want to for a good, long bike ride but I cant bring myself to go. I just dont have the energy to get up and go out. Sobriety takes so much out of me. All the trying and resistence... ]]> pearlwolf911 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2263-alone-again.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2259-sigh.html Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:07:12 GMT *deep sigh* So Today is June 30th 2009. Day 10 of Sober try #2. goddamn its hard. Im really thankful that I didnt have to go through Detox this time. Ive been getting headaches and slight shakes,... *deep sigh*
So Today is June 30th 2009. Day 10 of Sober try #2. goddamn its hard. Im really thankful that I didnt have to go through Detox this time. Ive been getting headaches and slight shakes, but honestly, its not nearly as bad as it was last time.
Two people...my two best friends....are the only two people who know about my booze-type problem. Anna and Isabella. I love them more than...life itself. They are my everything. Without them...Id be....well, not here ;)
So I stayed over at Annas house last night. I dont know why...but I stupidly decided to bring a mini bottle of wine. I...I dont know why. But I did. At dinner her parents drank (I dont blame them. They dont know and they shouldnt hold back on life because of me). It kinda lost it after that. We went back to her room and I turned over my stash. She poured it down the drain.
I cried with her last night. I cried TO her last night. I feel so vulnerable. I hate using her like that...asking her to be my whole support...but Im out of choices. I cried a gross amount. No person should be able to cry that much. But she was there for me, solid as a rock. Aw man, she's great.
We went to sleep around midnight and I fell asleep preety well. But I woke up about an hour later. 1-ish. I decided not to get out of bed until 4:15. I tried to sneak out of her room....just so I could walk around...but I accidently woke her up. dammit. So....just to reiterate how amazing she is....she stayed up with me in the middle of the night even though Im a crying sissy. She eventually passed out and I got about another hour and a half of sleep.
I feel bad. Leaning on my friends so much. I feel like I should be able to do this by myself (If I can even do it at all). But I cant.
Thats my 2 cents for today.
Stay Happy and Healthy
Marga ]]> pearlwolf911 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2259-sigh.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2227-f-ck.html Sun, 14 Jun 2009 17:54:05 GMT F*ck. I slipped last night. dammit it. I called my friend....one to two who knows about my situation.....and i was pretty drunk. i remember some of the conversation but not all of it.... Goddamn... F*ck.
I slipped last night.
dammit it.
I called my friend....one to two who knows about my situation.....and i was pretty drunk. i remember some of the conversation but not all of it....
Goddamn it!!

I have finals this week and Today is my last study day....but I cant focus at all....I cant get any work done..... ]]> pearlwolf911 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2227-f-ck.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2203-my-thoughts.html Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:45:47 GMT So today was not a good day. It wasn't BAD day but I did some thinking....
I thought...I'm not me anymore.... I'm not how I used to be. Now I'm just....sober. all the problems I had before are still there...prevalent as always. Life keeps moving. But I'm just sober. That's all I am. ]]> pearlwolf911 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2203-my-thoughts.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2199-9-weeks-today.html Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:14:58 GMT Today is my 9 week mark. Woah. It feels like an eternity longer. Today is my 9 week mark. Woah. It feels like an eternity longer. ]]> pearlwolf911 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2199-9-weeks-today.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2194-day-62.html Wed, 03 Jun 2009 02:24:42 GMT woah. 62 Days. When I put it like that it sounds alot longer than just over two months ;)
Hi. Im 16. My Sober date is April 1, 2009.
Recently its been getting harder to say 'no'....resisting is becoming tougher. Sunday night I sat on the floor (on the phone with a friend) for an hour and a half with an open bottle. But I didnt drink. I put it back. It scraes me that I got so close...... ]]> pearlwolf911 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/pearlwolf911/2194-day-62.html