*Sigh*
Posted 06-30-2009 at 06:07 PM by pearlwolf911
*deep sigh*
So Today is June 30th 2009. Day 10 of Sober try #2. goddamn its hard. Im really thankful that I didnt have to go through Detox this time. Ive been getting headaches and slight shakes, but honestly, its not nearly as bad as it was last time.
Two people...my two best friends....are the only two people who know about my booze-type problem. Anna and Isabella. I love them more than...life itself. They are my everything. Without them...Id be....well, not here
So I stayed over at Annas house last night. I dont know why...but I stupidly decided to bring a mini bottle of wine. I...I dont know why. But I did. At dinner her parents drank (I dont blame them. They dont know and they shouldnt hold back on life because of me). It kinda lost it after that. We went back to her room and I turned over my stash. She poured it down the drain.
I cried with her last night. I cried TO her last night. I feel so vulnerable. I hate using her like that...asking her to be my whole support...but Im out of choices. I cried a gross amount. No person should be able to cry that much. But she was there for me, solid as a rock. Aw man, she's great.
We went to sleep around midnight and I fell asleep preety well. But I woke up about an hour later. 1-ish. I decided not to get out of bed until 4:15. I tried to sneak out of her room....just so I could walk around...but I accidently woke her up. dammit. So....just to reiterate how amazing she is....she stayed up with me in the middle of the night even though Im a crying sissy. She eventually passed out and I got about another hour and a half of sleep.
I feel bad. Leaning on my friends so much. I feel like I should be able to do this by myself (If I can even do it at all). But I cant.
Thats my 2 cents for today.
Stay Happy and Healthy
Marga
So Today is June 30th 2009. Day 10 of Sober try #2. goddamn its hard. Im really thankful that I didnt have to go through Detox this time. Ive been getting headaches and slight shakes, but honestly, its not nearly as bad as it was last time.
Two people...my two best friends....are the only two people who know about my booze-type problem. Anna and Isabella. I love them more than...life itself. They are my everything. Without them...Id be....well, not here
So I stayed over at Annas house last night. I dont know why...but I stupidly decided to bring a mini bottle of wine. I...I dont know why. But I did. At dinner her parents drank (I dont blame them. They dont know and they shouldnt hold back on life because of me). It kinda lost it after that. We went back to her room and I turned over my stash. She poured it down the drain.
I cried with her last night. I cried TO her last night. I feel so vulnerable. I hate using her like that...asking her to be my whole support...but Im out of choices. I cried a gross amount. No person should be able to cry that much. But she was there for me, solid as a rock. Aw man, she's great.
We went to sleep around midnight and I fell asleep preety well. But I woke up about an hour later. 1-ish. I decided not to get out of bed until 4:15. I tried to sneak out of her room....just so I could walk around...but I accidently woke her up. dammit. So....just to reiterate how amazing she is....she stayed up with me in the middle of the night even though Im a crying sissy. She eventually passed out and I got about another hour and a half of sleep.
I feel bad. Leaning on my friends so much. I feel like I should be able to do this by myself (If I can even do it at all). But I cant.
Thats my 2 cents for today.
Stay Happy and Healthy
Marga
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