My First Blog
Posted 03-10-2009 at 01:54 PM by Nallabelle
Well I guess I am going to use this as like a diary for the whole world to read or whoever cares. Isnt that what a blog is?
I have come to the realization that I have become numb to drugs. Numb to their power and what they have done to my life. I was never a huge user as far as most people's standards are concerned. I am having the hardest time though giving this up. I really have no excuse. Im just not a strong person and that is the reality of it. I have been enabled by my family. People walk on eggshells around me and rightfully so.
I see so many people on here and at NA meetings who have overcome so much more than I have endured in my life and yet I cant seem to kick this addiction with so much of the rest of my life just the way that it should be. I believe the pills have changed me. I am angry now, short tempered, moody and I have done things I never in a million years thought I would do to get drugs. This is a sickening disease and I wish it wasnt my life.
I have lost all motivations and desires. I really dont care about anything anymore.
I have come to the realization that I have become numb to drugs. Numb to their power and what they have done to my life. I was never a huge user as far as most people's standards are concerned. I am having the hardest time though giving this up. I really have no excuse. Im just not a strong person and that is the reality of it. I have been enabled by my family. People walk on eggshells around me and rightfully so.
I see so many people on here and at NA meetings who have overcome so much more than I have endured in my life and yet I cant seem to kick this addiction with so much of the rest of my life just the way that it should be. I believe the pills have changed me. I am angry now, short tempered, moody and I have done things I never in a million years thought I would do to get drugs. This is a sickening disease and I wish it wasnt my life.
I have lost all motivations and desires. I really dont care about anything anymore.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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Welcome! Glad you are here.
I think you must care for something, otherwise you wouldn't be here at SR>it takes courage to share whether in person at a meeting or online especially for the entire world to see....share your daily personal struggles. NA is a wonderful program. We do recover. 
Posted 03-10-2009 at 02:07 PM by ANGELINA243
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Nalla ~ I feel the same way. I just want to be back to the person I was before. I know at one time I was a happy soul, but I have become so cynical and mad. I hate what the pills have done for me and are still doing to me. But yet, I still crave to be there. I guess that's why I am on SR for hours every day reading posts trying to find strength to stay straight. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.
STacyPosted 03-16-2009 at 05:13 PM by StaWay -
What kind of pills were you on Nallabelle? Congratulations on getting clean.Posted 03-17-2009 at 07:51 PM by Angelic17
