My AH went out of town camping with friends this weekend. I have positive hopes that my four year old and myself will have a great time. So far - we have.

When my AH is home, it's very common for us to wind each other up. I have learned in Al-Anon that I needed to detach, etc., and this helps to a certain extent. But - I do have the same dilemmas as the rest of the husbands / wives living with an active alcoholic - trying to keep my compusure, pick my battles, not enable, etc....

OK - so I started step 8, became WILLING to make amends, etc.

I made an amends to my ex-husband, and I don't know what I was thinking or what I am doing! I am OBSESSING as usual.

He forgave me (shock) and all is ok, he gave me his email and number.

He hasn't contacted me, but I emailed him (STUPID) and I'm a codie - ALL OVER AGAIN!!! I need to let GOOOOO!

PLEASE hit me over the head!!!! ...

I've been experiencing some really freaky emotions lately. Kind of realizing that I am not comforatble being isolated at home, with just the AH and my son.

Since I started going back to meetings and meeting people, posting on this website, etc., I feel like I no longer want to isolate myself from others.

For so many years, most of us have felt ashamed, maybe withdrawn, or that we really didn't belong - I know I didn't. When my friends would go out and drink, I...

Well, I have been working on steps for several months. I think it took me the longest time to work through steps 2 and 3. Actually, step 3 was a real bitch for me.

I have worked some of the steps in AA and some of the steps in Al-Anon, since I also have an AH. These steps are a lot alike, and I think it is something that is needed in each of these programs, but I wish they were easier.

I finally came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to...

Well - I tried a liver detox for 4 days. I had read that when you do this, a lot of the toxins that you have in your body start coming to the surface. I ended up with a really bad sore throat and swollen glands.

Eating a really healthy raw diet while doing this helped - - - but I did not finish the detox.

I am trying to to continually keep better care of myself, but it takes time to do this.

One day at a time.

I figure if I continue...