Coming Up on 30 Days
Posted 01-01-2009 at 06:42 PM by lugnut
January 1st 2009,
Well Here I am. One week from 30 days. I did not count the days but I know when I stopped. Not going to lie and say I dont think about my DOC almost everyday. I have found some solstice in making a schedule for my day. Making it a lot less easier for my mind to wonder.
Proud of what I have done thus far but still feeling allot of guilt for what I have done in the past. Not only to my own body but to my family. Granted I never hit bottom I am glad I did not wait that long. Does not make me better or worse off than any other addict though! We are all in this together.
The thing I find the hardest is not really having any friends.. It is easy in one aspect as I dont have any using buddies. (never really did anyway). Bad in the way I have no one to turn to besides my wife and she does not deserve the blunt of my addiction and she really does not understand nor really wants to and I dont blame her. Gotta blame me.
I can only hope and pray this is my "last time" I am not promising anything to myself for tomorrow just today. as that is all I have control over.
Here is to a new year not filled with resolutions but actions.
Well Here I am. One week from 30 days. I did not count the days but I know when I stopped. Not going to lie and say I dont think about my DOC almost everyday. I have found some solstice in making a schedule for my day. Making it a lot less easier for my mind to wonder.
Proud of what I have done thus far but still feeling allot of guilt for what I have done in the past. Not only to my own body but to my family. Granted I never hit bottom I am glad I did not wait that long. Does not make me better or worse off than any other addict though! We are all in this together.
The thing I find the hardest is not really having any friends.. It is easy in one aspect as I dont have any using buddies. (never really did anyway). Bad in the way I have no one to turn to besides my wife and she does not deserve the blunt of my addiction and she really does not understand nor really wants to and I dont blame her. Gotta blame me.
I can only hope and pray this is my "last time" I am not promising anything to myself for tomorrow just today. as that is all I have control over.
Here is to a new year not filled with resolutions but actions.
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