so i feel pretty good today. I've kinda been eating alot though, if I feel full I don't crave beer so it's helpful - at the same time I don't want to get fat. I'm already a few pounds over weight - I don't need that to worry about to!

I also worry to because I feel pretty good physically and mentally, this is usually when the alcohol tells me I'm fine, and I can go ahead and drink. So as cliche as it sounds - I'll take it one day at a time and worry about each day as it comes.

So yeah - I made it 2 days. I woke up at 11:30 tonight in a wet bed, awesome. I am such a loser. I can't believe he is still with me, of course if i keep on like this he won't be. I just feel so alone all the time. What does he want me to do? he knows i have a problem but he keeps alcohol in the house - WHY??? i feel unsupported and alone. I cannot take this emotional rollercoaster much longer.
when the craving hits again in a few days, I hope I'm strong enough.

I don't know or really care if anyone reads this. I just want have a place to vent. I feel pretty good today - my 3rd day sober. I'm feeling a little anxious but that always happens, it should go away in about a week.
I wonder if I'll succeed this time, I'm a binge drinker rather than a every-day-drinker, so it's been hard. Alcoholics drink every day right? yeah- they also drink 8-9 drinks when they do decide to drink.
Day 1 was such hell - i felt like i was having an out of body experience...