It's been a while since I updated this blog.

Almost a whole year in fact.

What a year this has been!!!!

I wish I could write that things have gotten better, that the hubby is clean and life is perfect.. all of this is just wishful thinking..

It's taken me a year to hit bottom.. a whole freaking year!!!! But the only way back is up right? I'm working on putting the focus back on me.. the cold hard truth is that my AH is an addict... addiction...

I have all this anxiety tonight.

I guess I'm trying to digest everything that has happend to me in the last several months. Finding pills in my supposedly Recovering Husbands possesion. My husband lying to me time and time again swearing that he wasn't using them. Me turning into a codependant lunatic making our already fragil marriage crack.

I have at least admitted to myself that I'm no longer in control. I have to get control back over my life. What my husband does...