~Stuff I need to get off my chest, rants, ideas, feelings, "Uh-Duh moments!" and whatnots!~
Comments are welcome!:ghug
{{HUGS}}
~Jane
Comments are welcome!:ghug
{{HUGS}}
~Jane
New Year...New Hopes and Dreams...And Reflections!
Posted 01-06-2008 at 11:06 AM by Jane63
*When I was cleaning out my daughter's room yesterday I was overcome by so many different emotions!
Going through a drawerfull of photos, I could almost put together a "timeline" of our life...From the cheerleading, basketball and various school-related functions that hubby and I were so involved in...to the ones of her and some girlfriends having parties and remembering how I never thought I would survive those "terrible teenager" years!
In sorting through her old diaries {she gave me permission to do this!} I came across an entry from where she and I had apparently come to blows! It was pretty hard to read and she was telling me how much she hated me right then and how nothing she did was ever "good enough" for me.
Without thinking I tore the page from her diary and threw it away!!
I did that because years after I had been married with a daughter of my own, I found a box with my old diaries in it and found a few similiar entries that I had made about my own Mother as a teenager...and it made me sad...very, very sad that I had ever felt that way about her!
I didn't want my own daughter to go through that someday when she is older and much wiser...Maybe not the smartest thing to do but I had the best of intentions!
*In other news...I saw in yesterdays paper that an aquaitance of mine was opening up his own Art Gallery in town and would only be showing his own work.
Being totally honest here, but that really made my heart sink!!
It seems everyone else has a "leg up" on me in that department...Of being able to make the right decissions to follow their dreams and it almost seems so "effortless" that they luck into it!
His works are mostly abstract...squiggles and shapes...and I must admit they do not appeal to me one bit...but he has "THE NAME" and I think people would buy his work just to have something signed by him.
{Not being "catty" there...just truthful!}
I hope I can follow through on my dreams this year and finally show some of my work...Maybe even sell a few?? That would be awesome!!
Well...Here's to new years and making old dreams come true! I'm definitely NOT getting any younger so this IS my year!!
{{HUGS}}
Jane
Going through a drawerfull of photos, I could almost put together a "timeline" of our life...From the cheerleading, basketball and various school-related functions that hubby and I were so involved in...to the ones of her and some girlfriends having parties and remembering how I never thought I would survive those "terrible teenager" years!
In sorting through her old diaries {she gave me permission to do this!} I came across an entry from where she and I had apparently come to blows! It was pretty hard to read and she was telling me how much she hated me right then and how nothing she did was ever "good enough" for me.
Without thinking I tore the page from her diary and threw it away!!
I did that because years after I had been married with a daughter of my own, I found a box with my old diaries in it and found a few similiar entries that I had made about my own Mother as a teenager...and it made me sad...very, very sad that I had ever felt that way about her!
I didn't want my own daughter to go through that someday when she is older and much wiser...Maybe not the smartest thing to do but I had the best of intentions!
*In other news...I saw in yesterdays paper that an aquaitance of mine was opening up his own Art Gallery in town and would only be showing his own work.
Being totally honest here, but that really made my heart sink!!
It seems everyone else has a "leg up" on me in that department...Of being able to make the right decissions to follow their dreams and it almost seems so "effortless" that they luck into it!
His works are mostly abstract...squiggles and shapes...and I must admit they do not appeal to me one bit...but he has "THE NAME" and I think people would buy his work just to have something signed by him.
{Not being "catty" there...just truthful!}
I hope I can follow through on my dreams this year and finally show some of my work...Maybe even sell a few?? That would be awesome!!
Well...Here's to new years and making old dreams come true! I'm definitely NOT getting any younger so this IS my year!!
{{HUGS}}
Jane
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Hey Jane~
I know kind of what you mean, I remember writing stuff like that about my Mom. Her and I had a good heart to heart this xmas, after a minor fight. lol, Moms and daughters have such an amazing bond don't they... It's unexplainable...
I also can relate to that painter and how you felt.
I'm doing so good in so many ways, but fck me, I feel like half the time. My meth use took so many Golden Years away, I feel like a loser when it comes to my career. I feel like I should have a name for myself and I get so frustrated.
but we just have to keep trying...
I'm right by your side sister!!! We had to have gone through all this for a reason. As long as we stay sober, Good things will come to us!Posted 01-06-2008 at 09:35 PM by Done_With_It
