How Do I forget
Posted 12-22-2007 at 03:01 PM by happyflower
Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting
Briefly my story is as follows. I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. I hate to say that he is an alcoholic but i think he is. He drinks every single night. Some nights are worse than others but I have not seen him without a drink for the last couple of years. He sometimes suggests that he may have a problem.
I love him and I was really enabling his habit by not saying anything or doing anything. We recently broke up due to the fact that he feels pressured by me. I out grew the stage of going out and I like to have a family and focus on different things in life. Unlike me he feels that he is missing out on life and needs to be out and experience what's out there. He is not ready for a family and he is in his early 30's. He says that he cares for me and he can;t find better than me but we met in the wrong time and he needs some time alone. I don't really believe anyone enjoys to be alone but i may be wrong.
I am still very hurt and have this stupid hope that maybe things will get better and he will realize what he lost. He wants to be friends and tries to be friends but it;s very painful for me. I really think that the alcohol has a lot to do with his outlook about life. I have talked to him about it but i still don;t think he has put enough effort and thought into it. I guess i am just looking for support. I am fully aware that my relationship was more than unhealthy for me but i am still hurt beacuse i have all these feelings. I do think this is my first love and it really hurts. Moreover I was living with him and am very close to his family and friends. So there is more than just letting him go. Sometimes i think that if he offers me to get back together i will say "yes" and that thought scares me beacuse i know that there are many problems and one of them is his alcohol consumption. He was never abusive verbally or physically on the contrary he becomes more open and talkative when he drinks. I need someone with experience to scare me and tell me what's the life like with an alcoholic. It sounds horrible for me to say that because i know alcoholics are not by any means bad people. I would love to help him and be part of his life but i don't think he wants to. I don't think he actually cheated on me during these two years but I think mentally he always wanted to be be single (probably behaved single when i was not around. That's another problem that may or may not be related with the alcohol consumption.
Please help
thank you
This is my first time posting

Briefly my story is as follows. I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. I hate to say that he is an alcoholic but i think he is. He drinks every single night. Some nights are worse than others but I have not seen him without a drink for the last couple of years. He sometimes suggests that he may have a problem.
I love him and I was really enabling his habit by not saying anything or doing anything. We recently broke up due to the fact that he feels pressured by me. I out grew the stage of going out and I like to have a family and focus on different things in life. Unlike me he feels that he is missing out on life and needs to be out and experience what's out there. He is not ready for a family and he is in his early 30's. He says that he cares for me and he can;t find better than me but we met in the wrong time and he needs some time alone. I don't really believe anyone enjoys to be alone but i may be wrong.
I am still very hurt and have this stupid hope that maybe things will get better and he will realize what he lost. He wants to be friends and tries to be friends but it;s very painful for me. I really think that the alcohol has a lot to do with his outlook about life. I have talked to him about it but i still don;t think he has put enough effort and thought into it. I guess i am just looking for support. I am fully aware that my relationship was more than unhealthy for me but i am still hurt beacuse i have all these feelings. I do think this is my first love and it really hurts. Moreover I was living with him and am very close to his family and friends. So there is more than just letting him go. Sometimes i think that if he offers me to get back together i will say "yes" and that thought scares me beacuse i know that there are many problems and one of them is his alcohol consumption. He was never abusive verbally or physically on the contrary he becomes more open and talkative when he drinks. I need someone with experience to scare me and tell me what's the life like with an alcoholic. It sounds horrible for me to say that because i know alcoholics are not by any means bad people. I would love to help him and be part of his life but i don't think he wants to. I don't think he actually cheated on me during these two years but I think mentally he always wanted to be be single (probably behaved single when i was not around. That's another problem that may or may not be related with the alcohol consumption.
Please help
thank youTotal Comments 4
Comments
-
Posted 01-15-2008 at 05:57 PM by Done_With_It
-
hello and greetings
So from what I hear you ay this man you love is definately an alcoholic. I don't like passing judgement on people or writing there inventories but take some advice from a 36 year old addict and alcoholic,Posted 03-02-2008 at 06:57 AM by Not highTEK
-
hello and greetings
So from what I hear you ay this man you love is definately an alcoholic. I don't like passing judgement on people or writing there inventories but take some advice from a 36 year old addict and alcoholic, keep yourself safe and stop letting him take advantage of you

Posted 03-02-2008 at 07:00 AM by Not highTEK
-
Happy Flowers~
I truly believe that if he doesn't want help, and if he is treating you this way and making you feel down, trying to help him if he doesnt see the problem could be too big of a responsibility for you to take on yourself. I suggest maybe getting friends or family to help you out on this. WHATEVER YOU DO do not put yourself in danger. If he wants to be single or acts single this may be too far gone to salvage. You seem to be a very caring, sweet person, and you deserve someone who will appreciate that. Dont put yourself in danger for the wrong reasons. Put you first.Posted 04-17-2008 at 01:28 PM by TheWhiteRabbit









