All that fear I talked about in the last post is still around.
Its like - I uncovered the truth, I know where the fear comes from, and now that fear is running around loose like a vampire let out of his coffin.
And all that analyzing was an attempt cure myself. You have no idea how often and how many times I have ruminated over this.
Yes, I figured it out and it is out of control. I am paralyzed with fear now.
And yes, I get it, about what it means to hand over 'our...

Yesterday, I was attempting to get some work done and a familiar resistance came over me. It is procrastination but it is an awful paralyzing procrastination. If you have ever had a premonition, an intuition, that you should not do something (get in a car, walk down an alley, ect.) then you know what it feels like. Every brain cell is screaming stop - don't act, don't do, don't try.
Yesterday afternoon it was incredibly strong, almost a physical pressure pushing me away from the desk, away...

What to do about self-centered fear?
First, it is a fear of what? Well, the answer was shown previously:
'Fail to get control of others' - that is mine, as a child and now. We do not address our needs and wants to humans, we ask HP. Humans don't deliver that kind of stuff, either from a demand or a request.

Second, its a defect of character. My defect, and it is pretty useless...

This was posted by gr8ful2day on July, 2007:
Self-centered Fear
...

Using the Steps as a guide, I can see that steps 11 and 12 require declaring 2 personal goals:
1) I want recovery from living with alcoholism
2) I want to do HP's will for me, knowing that it can be done only by me. HP's will for me is Exclusive to me.

I fervently hope HP's will for me will involve teaching people how to conserve and enjoy the natural world and helping others with recovery.

Steps 10, 11 and 12 provide 2 tools for these goals: : ...