http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/ Online Support Groups for Addicts, Alcoholics and their Family, Friends and Loved Ones. Fri, 24 May 2013 20:51:25 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bloss/17043-friday-may-24-2013.html Fri, 24 May 2013 17:27:42 GMT I've been reading about the second year of sobriety recently. I've not stayed sober this long since the late 1980's when I remained drink free for over two years. I was not drinking, but I was not truly "sober". My life was a mess, marriage, career, personal relationships, childhood trauma....ultimately leading back to alcohol as my "solution".

I tried unsuccessfully for years to attain continued sobriety, not the white knuckle type. I could always remain sober for varied periods of time, then things would build up and boom, back to my particular drinking pattern. I'm not going to preach a specific method of recovery. I believe each person must keep an open mind and never give up. It's never too late, I had pretty much decided it was for myself, but just for today, it's not and I'm sober. My life is not perfect and it never will be...attempting perfection led me back to drinking on several occasions. Today, I do the best I can and work on gaining acceptance for things I can't change. I am doing this concerning my oldest son, it is an effort. In the past, I would have been very angry, right now I am sad. I hope the sadness will become less and I can accept where his life is headed. On a lighter note, my relationship with my younger son has improved. So, I am grateful to be sober and working on the issues which led me back to drinking in the past. Of course, as always....

I only have today ]]> bloss http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bloss/17043-friday-may-24-2013.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17036-my-addiction-chilled-state.html Wed, 22 May 2013 14:22:56 GMT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VwaS...6pjAGg&index=5 ]]> Mcribb http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17036-my-addiction-chilled-state.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17035-reaping-what-you-sow.html Wed, 22 May 2013 14:21:58 GMT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMolCPRl1pk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMolCPRl1pk ]]> Mcribb http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17035-reaping-what-you-sow.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17034-ability-cope-avoiding-house-full-cats.html Wed, 22 May 2013 14:18:48 GMT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQjwZ...ature=youtu.be ]]> Mcribb http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17034-ability-cope-avoiding-house-full-cats.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17022-getting-positive-vibes-worked-up.html Sun, 19 May 2013 00:18:58 GMT For me I have to have a positive vibe or a positive overall outlook to keep working towards better sobriety. I like to write a journal or fish for compliments. I like to really think day in and day... For me I have to have a positive vibe or a positive overall outlook to keep working towards better sobriety. I like to write a journal or fish for compliments. I like to really think day in and day out what I am happy for. I am really happy I am not in iraq getting shot at. I like to thank the universe for the journey I have had. I like all the little games I have at my disposal to work myself through bad vibes as well. Lately I have been finding myself making videos of myself talking sports that way I can really get the juices of positive flowing. Lately I have really just been exploring what life has to offer. I used to be scared to say yes to helping people. Slowly though I am really bowing down to the universe to help my fellow man out. ]]> Mcribb http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17022-getting-positive-vibes-worked-up.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17011-wednesday.html Thu, 16 May 2013 12:58:52 GMT Tuesday was interesting. I was a bit wound up on coffee and was horsing around with Jason. I was hollaring at girls and one actually sat down to talk to us. She seemed cool. Then he bro-friend..not... Tuesday was interesting. I was a bit wound up on coffee and was horsing around with Jason. I was hollaring at girls and one actually sat down to talk to us. She seemed cool. Then he bro-friend..not boyfriend...her bro-friend showed up. I offered to buy a coffee, but he was obviously not happy with the fact that there was other swinging dicks talking to his lady. So I left. I then watched the start of a Royals win. It was a great day overall probably and mostly because Tuesday was a long long day filled with mental stress to push myself. I am glad today that I understand that to be successful you can't let feeling bad or feeling tired get in the way from everyday normal tasks. ]]> Mcribb http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17011-wednesday.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17006-reward-action.html Wed, 15 May 2013 15:19:14 GMT Sometimes the reward is the action. Lots of times I help people and I feel negative emotions or I feel frustrated with people. I just give my emotions to God. I try to thank God for the chance to... Sometimes the reward is the action. Lots of times I help people and I feel negative emotions or I feel frustrated with people. I just give my emotions to God. I try to thank God for the chance to help people. What a deal that is for me. I was always asking for help. It is nice to do things for other people even when it doesn't feel great.

Yesterday I went out with my friend Curtis and Robb. We had a great time. I had a great time and it was nice being around the guys. ]]> Mcribb http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17006-reward-action.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17002-tuesday.html Tue, 14 May 2013 11:51:52 GMT I have been looking for a new job as of late. I have been staying sober. One day at a time. I work out and hit the hot tub to keep my mood and spiritual condition up. I try my best to be of service... I have been looking for a new job as of late. I have been staying sober. One day at a time. I work out and hit the hot tub to keep my mood and spiritual condition up. I try my best to be of service and live the AA way. I think if I work hard I ususally find peace about myself and about life. I don't have any fears. The emotion that is negative I feel most is frustration. That is usually about the way I look. Everything else seems to be ok. I put in effort to keep my relationship with my parents going well. I put in an effort to keep a good relationship with my sister and my nephew. ]]> Mcribb http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mcribb/17002-tuesday.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mizzuno/16974-hello-blog.html Fri, 10 May 2013 18:41:17 GMT The Demo company is slowly but surely getting lift off. It seems like all the work is trickling in, and now I just have to ensure that it is stable. I can see a lot of progress in the last 2 months.... The Demo company is slowly but surely getting lift off. It seems like all the work is trickling in, and now I just have to ensure that it is stable. I can see a lot of progress in the last 2 months. I discovered that i have wings.
Im kicking A## in school- Like a Boss! ( Got that from an inspiring young boy named Kid president) Life is life, and I am not going to escape my last episode very easily. Phone call reminders, and running into people that believe I am elsewhere." Why are you here?" Hmmmm.... Well, Im not certain on how to respond. I just know that I am where I am supposed to be. Damn life lessons are very gut wrenching, humiliating, and down right necessary in order for growth.
Well, enough screwing around. Ive got to motivate and get into my studies. Thanks Blog. You have been helpful. ]]> Mizzuno http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mizzuno/16974-hello-blog.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bloss/16963-grateful-monday-may-6-2013.html Mon, 06 May 2013 22:53:07 GMT Having completed my first year of sobriety on 4/24/12, I am considering what to add to my sober journey. There are many options, whatever I decide, I want it to enrich my sobriety. I find, that I... Having completed my first year of sobriety on 4/24/12, I am considering what to add to my sober journey. There are many options, whatever I decide, I want it to enrich my sobriety. I find, that I am still the same, just sober. Each situation where a certain trigger to drink is pushed is still there at some level. The difference for myself is, I have accepted totally and without reservation not to use alcohol to deal with whatever I am experiencing. Now, to work more on the most troublesome "character" defects, flaws or whatever label one uses. Some days it is a struggle to be grateful, but upon reflection the gratitude shows up. One thing I am really praying for help with is "worrying" about feeling "not part of". I know on one level, I am a part of life and any endeavor I choose to engage in as much as anyone else. However, I frequently have to stop, take a deep breathe and ask for help with the anxiety which accompany these thoughts. The strength and courage to continue. I pray each morning to face the day, not isolate myself from the joy of life. Each day I ask for the strength and courage to get out there and help another who is still suffering. It's still not easy, but better than when I was engaging in sporadic drinking episodes. This was such a selfish, unhealthy way to live. Becoming and maintaining sobriety is number one for me. Without sobriety, I am just a shell of a person. ]]> bloss http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bloss/16963-grateful-monday-may-6-2013.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mizzuno/16912-within-reason.html Sat, 27 Apr 2013 19:38:23 GMT It has not been too long since my last mishap. I have managed to recover and restore myself in a way that I never thought possible. Starting a bachelors program has given my fragile spirit a boost of... It has not been too long since my last mishap. I have managed to recover and restore myself in a way that I never thought possible. Starting a bachelors program has given my fragile spirit a boost of esteem, and something that is working towards my future. The job at the Eatery serves no purpose other than income and maybe meeting a few locals that i wouldn't otherwise meet. I am content without responsibilities from my job right now. I have been, over the years, responsible for large departments and their operations. I just cant do it right now.
I am pleased with my turn around. What was a horrible event, turned into a blessing. Everything in my life is being taken care of. Finances, home, school, relationships.... Mental and emotional well being. I am walking into a new way of life. Thanks to the powers that be. I am grateful and humbled. ]]> Mizzuno http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mizzuno/16912-within-reason.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bloss/16909-friday-april-26-2013.html Sat, 27 Apr 2013 00:09:20 GMT I was looking back over my blog posts for the last year. The first post was on today's date, so I need to recognize this for myself. I was very ill from drinking so much even though I was two days away from my last drink. At the time, I didn't know I'd keep coming back. Usually, over the years I've given up sobriety after a month or a few months. I got a nice card from my husband to congratulate me on a year. I said I can't believe I've stayed sober, he replied "Just keep on doing whatever you are doing"!

So, I will...one day at a time with gratitude. ]]> bloss http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bloss/16909-friday-april-26-2013.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/lilymarie/16705-while-train-today.html Tue, 16 Apr 2013 02:15:32 GMT ...I pulled out a book when I sat down and next thing I knew, I was already at work. A year ago I would have to take 1mg Xanax each morning before getting on the train and continually repeating in... ...I pulled out a book when I sat down and next thing I knew, I was already at work.

A year ago I would have to take 1mg Xanax each morning before getting on the train and continually repeating in my head "you are ok...you are ok...you are ok" for 40 straight minutes in order to not get sick or have a panic attack. If the train had to stop on the tracks for a few minutes, I was ready to launch myself out the doors and to the ground.

After getting downtown, I started calculating when I could run to a corner store to grab a pint of vodka in order to get through my day.

Why? ALL OF IT was 100% alcohol-driven anxiety.

I would drink myself to sleep/passed out each and every night, and like clockwork, woke up mid-panic about 45 minutes before I had to get up and start my day
Each.
And.
Every.
Day.

Unbelievable madness.

Sometimes when I think back to that dark hole I was trapped in, I almost get choked up, want to cry with relief that I found my way out. ]]> LilyMarie http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/lilymarie/16705-while-train-today.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mattcake/16628-pyre.html Sat, 13 Apr 2013 03:47:33 GMT He sharpened his claws and wondered if the battle was even worth it. Kneeling down, peering at the faraway mountaintop, strained by the battle within himself. The blue chord tied around his ankle. ... He sharpened his claws and wondered if the battle was even worth it. Kneeling down, peering at the faraway mountaintop, strained by the battle within himself. The blue chord tied around his ankle.

And... ;) the end ]]> Mattcake http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/mattcake/16628-pyre.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/dg0409/16620-things-i-hated-about-drinking.html Fri, 12 Apr 2013 14:02:52 GMT I wanted to make this list before all of the miserable things about drinking left my mind and the seductive idea of 'a drink' started to enter.

• Waking up and wanting to drink. Sometimes I'd start drinking in the morning. Sometimes, I'd force myself to wait until a 'reasonable' hour. It sucked spending all day waiting for a drink, not really wanting anything else.
  
  
• Waking up hungover. Most days, I wasn't extremely hung-over, just tired and exhausted. Some days after nights where I got really carried away drinking were much worse though. Vomiting, nausea, lying in bed all day drenched in sweat that smells like alcohol. Mornings when I just knew the night before had killed more than a few brain cells.
  
  
• Feeling increasingly angry, anxious, depressed and out of control. Losing my temper and getting into arguments with the people I care about. I punched a door one day. I'm afraid of my temper and whether or not I can control it.
  
  
• Never really feeling clear-headed. I'm tired of not really remembering my evenings. I'm tired of having difficulty remembering things all the time. I'm tired of not having my brain power at my disposal.
  
  
• Starting to drink while driving more and more. I avoided driving while really drunk for the most part. There was one night, I did start to drive home trashed but knew it was a bad idea and pulled over to eat and drink coffee and sober up. But increasingly, I'd have a drink or two while driving. I don't want to be doing that. I don't want to risk a DUI. I don't want to risk an accident where they find I was drinking afterward.
  
  
• Turning to alcohol when I felt stressed or upset. If something bad happened in my life, I'd drink. I don't want to do that anymore.
  
  
• The money. I'm tired of wasting so much money on booze.

]]> DG0409 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/dg0409/16620-things-i-hated-about-drinking.html