a day early

Well tomarrow is ( was ) used to be a reallllyy big deal for me its my birthday . 46 candles an a call to the fire department . anyways .. It used to be one the the biggest nites for drinkin and tie'en on one . my 40th I dont even remember . last thing i do remember was being carried outta the truck by my bro and my then boyfriend , I guess I was even in a strip club and they bought me a lap dance , no clue dont remember a thing ... Was a black out nite. which i dont have many of but on b-days it was a big time excuse to drink till my hearts content . Used to have a big party at the bars for my b-days all my so called friends then showed up , heck its just a good of an excuse for others to drink when its anothers specail day . There was a few bd's i do recall and had a great time . tho of corse I was drunk what drunk dont have a good time till the next day wakin up with the shakes and the dry heaves . ooh ya real fun . But now its so completly differant theres no big party , theres definatly no drinking , and theres so many gifts bestowed to me that dont come with wrapping and a card . It just comes from my soul , and from others places we cant always explain , just know its there and except it with graditude and humility . I owe so much to so many for being where i am this day b4 my 46th . cant even begin to say thanks . and thanks seems like such a small word for such a big feeling . I know that just cuz its my bday i dont gotta drink to celebrate , I celebrate life each day , its no differant then anyother . tho im adding a digit to my age is all . But the best gift of all is the ability to be here on this planet , sober and with much serentiy and peace for the simple things . such as the nice choclate cake ive got bakin in the oven ( yes makin my own cake ) its lil things like that i so took for granted when i was drinkin . I just wanted to say thanks to all those who have helped me thu my life of soberity and look forward to many more one day at a time's .Peace and Serenity to all of you . Mrs O