Did some sound thinking today and made a good recovery move

How can I lay here day after day with no will for anything?

I absolutley hate where I am right now, I mean.. when I was born.......
...at that point in history.

There are no more morals in society
....we live in a sewer.

We took the wrong turn when we took God out of the equation, and now were paying dearly.

Off to a meeting in a half an hr.

The excuses not to go are pouring in but I'll go anyway.

Dear God, May I never get so proud that I forget where I came from.

I dont really know what to write.
I don't even really know what I'm doing here at sr because when I search deep inside myself I find that I don't want to quit using because I feel too screwed up being clean.

Yet i find myself posting in active addiction with rarely an intention to get clean.
Why? ........I don't know, maybe I like being around other people, maybe its the attention.

What else could it be?
I do like helping others but trying to...