http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/ Online Support Groups for Addicts, Alcoholics and their Family, Friends and Loved Ones. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:45:33 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/2249-finally-clean.html Thu, 25 Jun 2009 14:04:35 GMT 115 days clean today:) 115 days clean today:) ]]> emmer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/2249-finally-clean.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1689-clean.html Fri, 16 Jan 2009 03:54:28 GMT I am clean today (clean day 2 !!! ) and I dont feel miserable. :)

I'm very sore, and have a headache still but that, I can handle. ]]> emmer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1689-clean.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1680-clean.html Thu, 15 Jan 2009 02:19:59 GMT I am clean today and off to a meeting :) I am clean today and off to a meeting :) ]]> emmer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1680-clean.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1673-again.html Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:31:03 GMT Ok I gave in to temptation a few days ago but I am going to try again. Please Lord, give me the strength and enough hope to make it long enough to benifit from recovery so I can stay away form... Ok I gave in to temptation a few days ago but I am going to try again.

Please Lord, give me the strength and enough hope to make it long enough to benifit from recovery so I can stay away form drugs.

Lord you know I don't have much hope for life
but I wish to be happy.

I don't feel much like living but I will anyway. ]]> emmer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1673-again.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1672-progress-i-think.html Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:33:51 GMT No abuse of ligit meds for six days No booze (although I dont even like it anyway) for approx 3 weeks. Going to meetings again. No abuse of ligit meds for six days

No booze (although I dont even like it anyway)
for approx 3 weeks.

Going to meetings again. ]]> emmer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1672-progress-i-think.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1669-hmmm.html Tue, 13 Jan 2009 06:48:06 GMT Did some sound thinking today and made a good recovery move Did some sound thinking today and made a good recovery move ]]> emmer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1669-hmmm.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1667-why.html Mon, 12 Jan 2009 23:30:28 GMT How can I lay here day after day with no will for anything? I absolutley hate where I am right now, I mean.. when I was born....... ...at that point in history. There are no more morals in... How can I lay here day after day with no will for anything?

I absolutley hate where I am right now, I mean.. when I was born.......
...at that point in history.

There are no more morals in society
....we live in a sewer.

We took the wrong turn when we took God out of the equation, and now were paying dearly. ]]> emmer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1667-why.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1658-off-meeting.html Mon, 12 Jan 2009 02:57:24 GMT Off to a meeting in a half an hr.

The excuses not to go are pouring in but I'll go anyway. ]]> emmer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1658-off-meeting.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1657-dear-god.html Mon, 12 Jan 2009 00:44:53 GMT Dear God, May I never get so proud that I forget where I came from. Dear God, May I never get so proud that I forget where I came from. ]]> emmer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1657-dear-god.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1656-jan-11-09.html Sun, 11 Jan 2009 23:58:04 GMT I dont really know what to write.
I don't even really know what I'm doing here at sr because when I search deep inside myself I find that I don't want to quit using because I feel too screwed up being clean.

Yet i find myself posting in active addiction with rarely an intention to get clean.
Why? ........I don't know, maybe I like being around other people, maybe its the attention.

What else could it be?
I do like helping others but trying to help someone when I'm using is hypocritical.

I like to see others progressing in there recovery... maybe thats part of it.

I also realize that being in a state of consant relapes is toxic to others and if I cant stay clean or I simply refuse to let go of dope, then i should not be posting.

Thats a no brainer.

I can only collect so many white tags before it becomes a joke.

Why I use isn't so complicated ..

its a mixture of -I cant- and - i dont wanna say goodbye. ]]> emmer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/emmer/1656-jan-11-09.html