I think too much, this is for sure. This is a thinking disease if that is the right phrase for it. I am in a state of over analysing, and my brain is working overtime in terms of rumination. But it is manageable. This is the difference between the times gone and the times now. I feel that i can manage. it is a weird and wonderful feeling, it is very real and not a placebo. Heaven knows, as a huge cynic from over the years, I should know the difference between a placebo and otherwise at this stage....

I have finally stopped fighting with myself. this madness that is alcoholism is no longer the magnificent obsession that it once was. I have gone to many dozens of meetings over the past few months. I have met friends and interesting people on the road. I have mixed meeting locations. I go to good ones and not so good ones. I realize not to take things so personally any more. I do not generalize when something bad or a setback happens. This is a ridiculous mistake that I made many numerous times...

Thus begins 2012. this could be an outstanding year, it could be a year full of promise, or it could be half a year of good and half a year of bad. It doesnt matter really. I can frame 8 excellent months and have 4 crappy months at the start. But my point to myself is that there will always be challenging times ahead, and I should accept them rather than expect falsely that the entire year is going to be a super duper affair.

I have got to exercise the habit of restarting my day...

I have gone thru a lot in the past 6 months. It has been very difficult. Have i been selfish and self abosorbed? on face value, yes, but intuitively I know that this battle does involve more than an out of control ego.. It is a war that is fought on terms that only another addict could ever understand. It would be the same idea as trying to understand what it is to be gay as a straight person, you just wouldnt get it. I am glad to say that there is a huge amount of hope available to me now. There...

I have just gone thru a very very tough and traumatic week on my recovery. if it has done nothing else, it has taught me that it is never 100% easy to be sober, but sometimes it is almost if not as hard being sober as it is when drinking, in the early part of recovery anyway.

That is the way I have felt for much of the last 4 months. I have quit hopefully for good this time, and although I am confident about my prospects of doing this, by going to meetings and doing the steps, I...