http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/ Online Support Groups for Addicts, Alcoholics and their Family, Friends and Loved Ones. Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:09:42 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1287-day-22.html Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:00:05 GMT Whoo! Hoo! I am feeling really great right now. I have not had a drink for 22 day and can honestly say that I do not miss it at all. I took a big whif of the hubbys beer last nite and it smelled... Whoo! Hoo! I am feeling really great right now. I have not had a drink for 22 day and can honestly say that I do not miss it at all. I took a big whif of the hubbys beer last nite and it smelled good, but I had no desire to take even a sip.

I have been really sleepy the last week and have a hard time getting anything done past 9:30 at night. I have finally been sleeping hard all night. I wake up around 5:30 in shock that the night is over already. Used to be up and down all night with massive anxiety.

I went to the doctor yesterday for a month check up since I am on Lexapro. I have lost 10 lbs. since then, My BP was 118/70, last time I was there it was 150/95. I have been doing lots of walking. I have decided I need to do some weight bearing/sit up kind of stuff too. So I think I will walk on MWF and do other stuff on the other days.

The doctor had me get some blood tests this morning to check liver/kidneys, cholesterol, and she mentioned vit d. She encouraged me to take calcium with Vit D. I hate to swallow pills, so I went to Costco and got some that are chewy and taste like tootsie rolls...that I can deal with!

I am a little stressed with Amanda's grades. She is a junior in HS and has so much potential, but is not motivated at all in school. She has 2 "A"s, 2 "C"s and 2 "F"s. I just don't get it. The more we hound her the worse things become. She has the potential to get an athletic scholarship in school, but that won't happen with her grades at this point. She's in driver's training and we told her no license without a "B" average. Hard to deal with and was a huge trigger in the past to my drinking. ]]> Eclipse http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1287-day-22.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1260-day-14.html Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:39:31 GMT I have hit 2 weeks. I am very happy right now and plan to keep it this way. I don't have anything coming up in the near future that should cause a trigger, so I am going to just plug along day by day. ]]> Eclipse http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1260-day-14.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1256-day-13.html Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:38:06 GMT Almost two weeks. It just gets better and better. I am a little worried that I have no cravings and that it might slam me some day. I have also having more and more cravings for sugar that I never... Almost two weeks. It just gets better and better. I am a little worried that I have no cravings and that it might slam me some day. I have also having more and more cravings for sugar that I never had before. The dark chocolate candybars I hide in my dresser (from the kids--guess its better than hiding wine!), the chocolate ice cream at 10:00 at night, in bed, watching TV and reading a book on the commercials, kids all in bed asleep...wow is that the greatest way to end a day. Used to be I couldn't see the TV or concentrate on a book at that time of night!

I have lost 7 lbs in 13 days which is just crazy. Of course the butt and boobs is first to go for me. My husband has really noticed that I need some new pants! Need to get more off the belly...guess I should do some sit ups and work on that.

They only comment that has been said at all about my not drinking by my kids was when I was really anxiety ridden about 4 days into abstinence and my oldest told me to chill out and have a glass of wine. She didn't know I was going through detox or that I had even quit drinking. The others have not said a word about my not drinking. So, is it that they didn't really notice how much I was drinking? Or notice that I'm not drinking? I can't believe that since I "fell asleep" watching movies with them all the time and always had a glass of wine in my hand. Maybe they are relieved, but don't say anything. What would they say anyway?

All I know is that things are much better without it and I don't think about it all day anymore at all. I used to start thinking about drinking in the early afternoon and would be annoyed if I was side tracked and couldn't get home right after work for a glass of wine.

I am guessing I am saving at least $75 a week by not drinking. That can add up. I should take that money each day and put it away and buy myself a present when I hit a month!

Looking forward to Day 14! ]]> Eclipse http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1256-day-13.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1232-day-8.html Thu, 18 Sep 2008 19:05:19 GMT Still walking, walking, walking. My new addiction. Just feels reallly good...legs lookin' better too.

One thing I have found about myself from not drinking is what a procrastinator I had become. Always putting things off, cuz I didn't want to deal with it and drink instead. Then as things start piling up, causing more stress and drinking more...especially with paperwork, laundry, etc.

Today I walked, came home paid the bills and balanced the checkbook, got the kids off to school, got ready for work, made my lunch and out the door I go..wow not that difficult. But is really was before. Even if I didn't really drink that much the night before, I guess just having it in your body all the time drags you down.

Still no cravings. Don't get it! ]]> Eclipse http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1232-day-8.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1226-day-7.html Wed, 17 Sep 2008 17:35:01 GMT Whoo - Hoo! Feeling really good. Even enthusiastic. Still a little leary. Last night I walked by the wine aisle in the store and looked at it and it just freaked me out for some reason. I didn't have the urge to buy anything, but it just gave me a jolt. Got out of there fast. Also went home to sit at the computer and had the thought of: glass of wine and computer...(loved to get on the computer and drink wine!) another jolt. But it went away just a fast as it came. That is frightening to me.

Getting addicted to walking in the morning. Its really dark when I get up and K doesn't want me to go out that early...but just feel the need to do it. It will help when we have the time change which isn't till November, so not sure I can walk all of October. Might have to do some of the tapes that I have bought over the years and done once.

I am getting past all the anxiety and calming down and looking at everything in perspective. No I can't paint the entire inside of the house in a week, no I can't pull all the weeds in one weekend, no I can't...no I can't...so now I can make lists and tackle things one at a time over the fall and winter.

I just pray I can keep this up. It really helps to come here everyday and just write it down. Makes me think about it. ]]> Eclipse http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1226-day-7.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1224-day-6.html Tue, 16 Sep 2008 15:10:00 GMT I walked again this morning. Really helps to get out and get the anxiety out. Feeling really good. Anxiety is almost all gone. Now I am in a mad rush to catch up and try to fix all that has gone... I walked again this morning. Really helps to get out and get the anxiety out. Feeling really good. Anxiety is almost all gone. Now I am in a mad rush to catch up and try to fix all that has gone downhill in the last year. I see housework that needs to be done, painting that needs to be done, clean up the paperwork. That is what is causing anxiety now. I don't think about drinking at all. I drive by the store after work and usually would stop. I don't even think about it. I don't have any cravings. I really think I just put my mind to it and that is that. I HOPE! The test will be going to the cabin on the weekend. There is where I can really drink, sitting on the dock in the hot sun with a big ole glass of wine or 10.

I am so much more on top of the kids with their homework. They are great and just get their stuff done, but now I am actually asking them what they are doing, asking specific questions about how their day went. ITs hard to believe I let myself get to the place I did. I thought I couldn't live without alcohol, but I can and will. I know its only 6 days, but I just have a feeling this is it.

I have already lost 5 lbs. Clothes are fitting better, I have more energy and am so thankful for every minute of the day. ]]> Eclipse http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1224-day-6.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1217-day-5.html Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:41:09 GMT Feeling pretty good. I wouldn't say I feel GREAT but I do know it will take some time to get everything out of my system. The anxiety seems to be lessening which was the worst part of the detoxing for me. I absolutely do not crave wine at all, I even think what it would be like to have a glass of wine and feel nothing. I SO hope it stays like this.

Really didn't sleep that great. Kept waking up, but got back to sleep. Finally at 5:00 I was awake for the day. Walking this morning helped. I bet I walked 4.5 miles. I walked with friends but almost just want to go by myself. We talk and don't really walk hard. I am always a few steps ahead. I think I just want to go and beat it hard and really work up a sweat to get that extra tension out. We'll see. I might try it by myself and see. Then get the coffee, now that I can drink it again and straight to SR to get my fix. It really helps to write it down for myself. A reminder to go back and look at if I need to.

Last night K was drinking quite a bit. I could tell now that I'm not. I walked by his beer and stopped and almost took a drink and then went "Yew, no way!" I don't want to have anything to do with it, not even a sip. I was getting annoyed with him. He was playing with the kids and rough housing, and I was trying to get them to bed. I guess I'm not so fun anymore. I worked really hard around the house all day and just wanted to get to bed. I find I am needing lots of relaxation in the evenings to get to sleep unlike before when I would lay down and be instantly asleep. I am trying a few new things. I am still taking melatonin which helps. I took a nice hot shower then got into bed. I've been trying to get everyone to just quiet down around 9:00. ]]> Eclipse http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1217-day-5.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1216-day-4.html Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:29:36 GMT Okay, today is Day 4. Feeling pretty good. Still have anxiety. Made it through my uncles b-day party. There was beer and wine coolers and it didn't even bother me at all to see others drinking. I have no cravings at this point, don't get that, but glad for it. I drank about 5 bottles of water and actually had a good time. Nobody offered me anything, cuz it was a "get it yourself out of the cooler" party so I didn't have to make any excuses and since nobody really knows my issues, I didn't feel self conscious! Yay!

I mowed the lawn for 2 hours today (riding mower-thank goodness) and just sat there and reflected and made plans and got sunburned...but it feels great. ]]> Eclipse http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1216-day-4.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1215-day-3.html Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:18:43 GMT Today is day 3 and I actually feel lots better. I still feel a little nauseous but not as much, still can't really drink the coffee which is NOT good! I slept much better last night, but still got up really early with anxiety.

I have to drive 3 hours today to go to my uncles 80th b-day party and this will be a test, although I feel strongly that I will be fine. I know I will be offered a glass of wine and I'm trying to think of the excuses I will use to not drink. I think I am going to say I am on a diet and can't have alcohol for 2 weeks! None of my extended family knows of my issues and I don't plan to mention it today!

I have no cravings at all for alcohol, (I am sure this will change in the future) and in fact I went to the store last night and I usually park near the doors closest to the wine aisle, but as I was walking out of the store I noticed that I had parked near the other doors and when I was in the store I did not even think about wine. It was a really weird realization. Lots probably contributes to the fact that I don't feel well, but I was still shocked! ]]> Eclipse http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1215-day-3.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1132-gonna-try-keep-together.html Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:43:19 GMT Vacation is coming up--10 days to relax and have fun with the kids. Mom and dad are coming and there always is some kind of issue that comes up and blows up in to a fight. I am promising myself to... Vacation is coming up--10 days to relax and have fun with the kids. Mom and dad are coming and there always is some kind of issue that comes up and blows up in to a fight. I am promising myself to not let that happen. We want to have a good time. I have a feeling I will drink and that worries me. But I have been very good with only a couple of glasses of wine a day. If I could just do that I would feel good. The problem being, everyone starts drinking at the lake around 1:00 and drink ALL DAY LONG. Nickie has some really good lemon drop stuff and collins mix that she mixed with rum. Maybe I will get some of that and mix it with lots of ice and sip on the --with no alcohol. No body would even notice anything. But just going down to the dock triggers that need to drink. Maybe the weather will be really crappy like today and we will have to sit inside and play games with the kids. That would make it easier to not get the urge to drink. I can do it and I just need to keep reminding myself. I will get a good book to take with me and sit and read and sleep and enjoy the time there. School will be starting up really soon and then the stress will be back on with the crazy schedules...but I will just do one day at a time and keep talking to myself! ]]> Eclipse http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/eclipse/1132-gonna-try-keep-together.html