keeping the good memories

today I am at home and I finally have the house to myself because for the last week I have a friend staying on the couch where she does not move from(and is here for another 5 weeks)but today she is gone home for the night and it is my day off work and after cleaning the house and having a cup of tea I can only think about those close to me, even when I was active I was always there for my friends and familly in one way or another but now I find that some if not most of them tip toe around me in a way that they think if they say something out of line I'll pick up. I miss my sister who I spent hours on end talking and laughing with but as time moved on so did she and she is now in college and living her own life...and even though I know I will never get them moments back I find it hard to accept it. I think of those I left behind in Cork and miss so much and then get annoyed because I can't even afford the damn bus ticket to go see them when there only 3 hours away my best friend went to America yesterday and it broke my heart to see him go, I went to school with him and he is the type of guy who no matter what always makes me laugh even when I am crying, and it felt as if we broke up or something and that he was leaving me and not leaving Ireland for a better life even though we were never an item or anything just...best friends. I keep finding myself crying over it and getting embarassed even though I'd be on my own...it's crazy how things in life that you wish would never change do I'd love to go back and cherish the memories for longer and appreicate them more...even amoung the tears there is laughter...