http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/canuhearme/ Online Support Groups for Addicts, Alcoholics and their Family, Friends and Loved Ones. Thu, 16 Feb 2012 07:02:41 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/canuhearme/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/canuhearme/878-drug-choice-letter.html Sun, 15 Jun 2008 07:04:50 GMT Drug of Choice Letter

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Hello,
Have we met before? If not, let me tell you a little about myself. I don't share myself with just anyone. I pick only a chosen few who will appreciate me, and then, only if the timing is perfect. I have chosen you. People like you are very special to me because you are receptive to my many talents. You'll be anxious to know me better, and soon as we touch, the physical attraction between us will soar. We'll continue our encounter, with me leading you down a path of pure physical ecstasy. You'll feel no shame at having gone "all the way" on our first date. All you'll feel is exhilaration and you'll beg for more.

At first our attraction will be purely physical, and you must realize that this is a very important phase of our relationship. Be confident that it will grow into something much deeper. I am. As we get to know each other better, your interest will become emotional as well as physical. You'll learn to come to me with your problems; for not only will I help you with them, I will somehow take away their deep pain. I know that in time you will give yourself totally to me.
When you’re with me you’ll feel warm and secure. I will ease your mind, soothe away your troubles, and fill your soul with pleasure. With me, you’ll feel as if you can conquer the world, as if you have a special key to happiness. You’ll enjoy living again. I’ll be the answer to your unspoken prayers. You’ll soon wonder how you ever lived without me.
As our relationship grows, you’ll start to exclude others from your life…and that’s okay. You know that I can give you all you need. I’ll be your lover, best friend and confidante. I will always be available when you need me. This I will prove to you time and time again, and you’ll realize that you don’t need others-when you have someone like me, all others seem inadequate.
So, we’ll see more and more of each other and decide that it’s really impractical not to live together, so well make that move. Our life together will encompass many beautiful experiences.
Well do it all together: swim in the ocean, picnic on the beach, fly kites, and whenever you feel the urge, well make love. Our relationship will be devoid of fights or arguments. I’ll give myself completely to you, knowing ill receive the same in return.
You’ll soon realize that you’ve dedicated your life to me. It will happen before you know it. It sort of takes you by surprise, and you’ll wonder if maybe you should spend some time alone, away from me. After all, people say everyone needs some time alone, even if they’re in love. And the fact is, you are irresistibly in love with me. So you vow to take some time alone, even though you don’t want to. You’ll start spending the day in solitary adventure, doing something you’ve always wanted to do. After a few hours, though, you’ll find that you’re not really enjoying yourself, and realize that you miss me more than you ever thought you could. You’ll feel terrible, empty void without me and think about coming back home. It makes you a little angry that you didn’t keep the promise to yourself, but rationalize that you don’t have to come back home; rather you just want to. The whole way home you tell yourself that if you really wanted to spend the day alone, you could-you just didn’t want to.
When you walk through that door, wit will fill my heart with pleasure-for id be hoping that you wouldn’t spend the whole day away from me.
You’ll come running to me, and I’ll take you in my arms and hold you so tightly that it becomes a bit painful, but you won’t mine. Though you won’t see my face as I embrace you, I’ll have a very satisfied smile. For it’s the moment I have been waiting for. I’ve got you where I want you. You now have no choice. You cannot live without me and Ill love it!
It is precisely at this point that you cease to be my lover, and you become my victim. You see, my ultimate goal is to murder you, and I have begun to do just that. But my methods are slow. I can do it slowly because you won’t be able to leave me even though you know I am killing you. That’s the joy of it, the beauty of it! You will make a choice to die, and you’ll let me do it.
Do you recognize me yet? You should…for, you see, this relationship has already taken place between you and I. We are intimately acquainted, and now, I am patiently waiting for you to come back to me. I will follow you and wait for you wherever you go. I can wait forever…for, you see, I am your drug of choice.

Author Unknown ]]> canuhearme http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/canuhearme/878-drug-choice-letter.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/canuhearme/822-ixsna-obrietysa-atesda-nix-sobriety-dates.html Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:03:48 GMT I was just sitting here reading through some old post and noticing how people that have been in recovery for 1+ years seem to be enjoying the ups and downs of a normal life. It started me thinking,... I was just sitting here reading through some old post and noticing how people that have been in recovery for 1+ years seem to be enjoying the ups and downs of a normal life. It started me thinking, (oops) how long have I gone with out using. I have an email to a friend that I know was sent on the day I realized I was really ready to put every thing I had into quitting. It would be as simple as going to my sent mail box and finding it. The thing is, when I said no more to myself, I started off by... ]]> canuhearme http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/canuhearme/822-ixsna-obrietysa-atesda-nix-sobriety-dates.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/canuhearme/816-ixsna-obrietysa-atesda-nix-sobriety-dates.html Mon, 02 Jun 2008 15:07:16 GMT I was just sitting here reading through some old post and noticing how people that have been in recovery for 1+ years seem to be enjoying the ups and downs of a normal life. It started me thinking,... I was just sitting here reading through some old post and noticing how people that have been in recovery for 1+ years seem to be enjoying the ups and downs of a normal life. It started me thinking, (oops) how long have I gone with out using. I have an email to a friend that I know was sent on the day I realized I was really ready to put every thing I had into quitting. It would be as simple as going to my sent mail box and finding it. The thing is, when I said no more to myself, I started off by trying not to look back, kept telling myself, don't even think about it. See, I've done this before, been clean for a few weeks and started feeling comfortable with it and went in search of my date and then said hey I've done good, and it was easy so, I can use again and just stop. NO! Didn't work that way. Why in the heck did I think that in the first place. I started trying to quit a few weeks after I started getting high, you'd think I'd never forget how fast this crap can grab you. Shoot I didn't even like it and it held me hostage until I loved it enough to hate it.
So here is my thinking on dates now, 6 mo of drugs and 5 1/2 of trying to quit as of today. I'm never going to be able to tell any one how long it's been, I'll know next year in May that it's been around a year, and that's good enough for me.

I feel content with where I am. I am very sad that it has cost me my husband, but you know what, I've been battling his addiction long before I started my own battle and a piece of me is relieved that I have a good reason not to deal with the out of nowhere blow that he's using again. I never had any warning it was coming when he'd relapse. Only he did, and he never had the desire to say hey, I'm thinking about it, nope he just did it.
I'm calling the bank today to order checks, I destroyed all that stuff 5 mo ago, no ATM checks or credit cards. But I need my checks, I'm tired of buying money orders. I got a new ATM card in the mail this morning (guess the old one had expired) and I cut it up as soon as I opened it lol. Funny how that little card in my hands made my mind go wild. I already called the bank and said do what ever you have to do, but I never want you guys to send me another ATM card. Gee's they might as well have sent me dope. Kinda makes you want to call the DEA and say "you need to do some thing with these ATM pushers"... JK ]]> canuhearme http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/canuhearme/816-ixsna-obrietysa-atesda-nix-sobriety-dates.html