This is who I am.

This is who I am.
At 15, it started with the pot. The typical 'gateway drug' that is drilled into your head as a child. Then I really got into the music scene and got into pubs playing local show and whatnot. I quit me schools rugby team. I was the captain and star 8 spot. The dubious people that were surrounding me brought me this feeling of acceptance. Which was weird, because i was never neglected as a child or anything of the sort. Sitting on side walks at 16 or so, I began playing with my hat tossed on the ground, constantly being told to move by the cops. And being completely incoherent at the time. That’s when the crack got involved. In my head i was completely in control.
At the end of the day I would take my collections from my hat and head down town to walk past the homeless. They always know where the best and cheapest junk could be found. And they liked me, they liked how I talked to them rather than through them. I had no problem with them, and in a strange way
they took care of me for a significant part of my life.
17, I met a man named Dan, a brilliant bloke. He was as hopeless as I was. Our bodies suffered as our music grew. Its funny how when you talk as a junkie, words occasionally don’t seem to make sense and people don’t actually listen to you. But when you put music in the background and make the last syllable rhyme with another, people seam to listen more. At this point I was a full blown dope fiend.
18, I played my own doctor for 3 months battling a needle infection in my left arm. Due to the fact I was, and basically still am, bloody horrified of doctors. I still have the haunting scar there. It keeps me wondering everyday.
19, I went to my first NA meeting because my girl found me in shooting in her parents bedroom at their Christmas party. She had no clue, and we had been dating for 2 years.
I wasn’t a fan of the meeting. Too much 'share your feelings' kind of deal. She kept me, and she tried for me.
One day she approached me as I was stoned on the sofa and she said, "id like to try it once." Never. I would never let that happen. and I told her that.
The next day I came on this site, not really being sure what i was looking for. But whatever it was, i found it. I bloody found it.

-Brand