http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bovinepiebear/ Online Support Groups for Addicts, Alcoholics and their Family, Friends and Loved Ones. Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:10:43 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bovinepiebear/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bovinepiebear/1748-drummer.html Tue, 27 Jan 2009 03:07:19 GMT After some other stuff in which I learned to cry and hide I discovered that I could drum. I mean drum. Two sticks, skin on a cylinder, and I swear nature in me made music right there. I would drum... After some other stuff in which I learned to cry and hide I discovered that I could drum. I mean drum. Two sticks, skin on a cylinder, and I swear nature in me made music right there.

I would drum everywhere. Everything is a drum. People heard. Things moved on. I played drums with other people. We made music together. Damn. Crowds and joy.

I drummed this one time. I remember their voices. Loud, screams and cheers and clapping hands only where I allowed. I swear I was a God. ]]> bovinePieBear http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bovinepiebear/1748-drummer.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bovinepiebear/1746-my-addiction-arrogant-so-am-i.html Mon, 26 Jan 2009 23:48:57 GMT Sometimes I know that my addiction is great and poetic. Sometimes I know that I am worthy of song. Sometimes I think that all these so-called legendary abusers have been over-hyped. Sometimes I... Sometimes I know that my addiction is great and poetic. Sometimes I know that I am worthy of song.

Sometimes I think that all these so-called legendary abusers have been over-hyped. Sometimes I know I could have them, right here, right now.

Sometimes I have the notion that in death I will fall into popular legend as a great drunk who was beyond saving. Sometimes I like this idea very much.

Sometimes I have the idea that if I succeed in something that someone else will have to lose. Sometimes I don't want to succeed.

Sometimes I am amazed at my extraordinary power and poise, the world turning at my whim. Yeah. Sometimes I hold doors open, shielding my eyes.

Sometimes, ok, I think that I can take the world at breakfast. Somtimes I think that the world is yawning at me.

Sometimes I have the idea that if I misunderstand what you have to say, you are a fool. Sometimes I wish I understood you.

Sometimes I wonder what the fuss is about. Sometimes I make some fuss.

Sometimes I know I have something. Sometimes I wonder what it is.

Sometimes I know that I can stop any time. Sometimes I know that I will stop sometime. ]]> bovinePieBear http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bovinepiebear/1746-my-addiction-arrogant-so-am-i.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bovinepiebear/1644-yes.html Fri, 09 Jan 2009 04:48:32 GMT Resisting emotionally agile responses. Hate filled and bitter I slough through the stinking meres of what ought to be. I recognise the necessary adjustments. And turn, turn away, wishing for... Resisting emotionally agile responses.

Hate filled and bitter I slough through the stinking meres of what ought to be.

I recognise the necessary adjustments. And turn, turn away, wishing for elusive change. ]]> bovinePieBear http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bovinepiebear/1644-yes.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bovinepiebear/1627-ahem.html Tue, 06 Jan 2009 05:04:02 GMT "Well, the sun shines bright somewhere, always, on this good Earth, and I know for damn sure sometimes it's shined on me."

This is the beginning of a Dolly Parton song that neither she nor anyone else never wrote, but we're all grateful for some things. For instance, the hair-pull-lift, the motorbike ashtray and the easy elevation of drunk, homeless bums to sobre, fulfilling participants in society are some of the things we're all very glad that have never come to be.

Anyway, what I don't have right now in any sense is the concept of "sobriety." I have searched about a bit over the years, as it happens, but I now intend to search a bit harder in order, I suppose, to find it. I think I want it, but even that is muddled, and I need to know what sober means for and from a person who utterly and completely is. ]]> bovinePieBear http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/bovinepiebear/1627-ahem.html