I suppose I need to keep in mind that, over all, things are moving in a positive direction.

But no. They're not. I've somehow miscalculated my checking account, and am about to incur two $33 overdraft charges which are unavoidable. I do not have $66 dollars to lose. Obviously.

I'm so incredibly tempted to get myself drunk it's ridiculous. I'm trying very hard to pay attention to the message of the serenity prayer. Trying very hard to put first things first and do...

"The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?"
~Holly Golightly

I don't know what else to do, so I'm writing. The Christmas Season is officially starting outside my window, what with the annual town celebration and evening of festivities and all. I should be there, downtown, and yet...

Another night, sitting here, thankful to be sober today.

I'm working my fourth step. Slowly. Not actually working on it tonight, just reflecting on life really.

I haven't been perfect lately. I lie to people who think I've got more days than I actually have. I lie to myself and rationalize. I'm only on here periodically lately, and when I am I'm usually just posting on this blog. Because, after all, in my mind it's all -all- about me.

But tonight I've...

I've been doing relatively well lately, but still find myself on shakey ground.

A lot of things in my life are about to change, some for the better, some for the worse.

(leaving my job, working uphill towards grad school, finding a new job and a new, cheaper place, parents selling their house and probably divorcing...)

All these things are about to change for the harder. That I know for sure.

But tonight can't solve tomorrow. I can only...

I've been facing a lot of tough questions in my life lately. Tonight I think my 3rd Step opened my eyes to my most likely path.

Clue Solution:
David, B'sT;
With the Peace Corps;
In wherever they send me, on the way to grad school for IR.

In the meantime, while applying, I can study IR and Psychology and Spanish at a community college while working any job I can get and saving all I can save. I'd like to be somewhere that has four real seasons--...