So pretty much a year away from where I started. Not drinking, not remotely interested in drinking. I don't even know how that happened. But I also ended up with what I thought was the best year ever. Finally got my dream job, fell in love with what I thought was an amazing person (PhD student, marathon runner, smart, funny, kind, hot)... and now everything is completely on its head again. Found out about six months ago that he was going on CRACK binges. CRACk. WTF? What brilliant, talented person,...

Ok, still on the wagon and its been 22.5 days. Yes, now its down to half days. Every hour, at times, seems to be an accomplishment. But I have to be careful -- pride and the notion that I had licked this disease were what caused me to slip the last time.

So now, I'm just greatful to be where I'm at.

Almost ready for bed, I'm thrilled to be tired for a change, not passing out.

Now I just need to make it through tomorrow.

Today I am losin faith in why I am choosing sobriety. A night spent dealing with two alcholic parents being emotionally abusive when I need their help more than anything and now I feel like I have no where to turn. I need comfort and support, not cruel drunken mean-ness. I need a hand getting things together, not judgement on how I have been failing to do so. I have been trying to the best of my ability to turn these situations around -- applying for jobs every single day. Going to job fairs. Networking...

Am I being tested? Sure as h*ll feels like it.

Last night my car had an electrical shortage while I was driving, and smoke started pouring out from the dashboard. I pulled over, got myself and my passenger out, and within minutes saw my car go up in flames, completely a ball of fire until the fire department came and sprayed down what was left -- a heap of melted plastic, exploded tires, and completely destroyed vehicle. No parts salvagable. Not even my beloved bike in the back of...

Not sure what day I'm on, I guess since I'm past midnight its officially day 13. Actually my lucky number.

Trying to keep up with folks, but with snowstorms arriving every few days, there's not much energy left in me at the end of the day to write much.

Sleep is a priority now. Hopefully something better will happen tomorrow.