Yeah It's been a while since my last update. I'm still doing good, it's actually 47 days again, 48 by midnight but I don't count that till I'm awake after a nights sleep. Anyway been good for the most part. Have this new pup who has come in and really brightened up my moods. I was offered and accepted a really good paying job with great benefits. I can see this as possibly the job I can retire from one day! I've been living here in Kansas City now for two years and in that time I've had to take...

Well after a particularly horrible few days of feeling like hell some good things are taking shape here on my side of the pond. First off today is 3 weeks sober. Still kinda gets me down knowing I would be on the verge of having 5 months sober now if not for that unfortunate but in it's own weird way necessary little relapse. I've lived and learned and moving on from that and luckily the lesson is still pretty fresh in my head. So that's good, almost got another full month under my belt again....

I don't know where to go. If I try to talk to my family they would just say well take it easy. While my Sister would probably just sit there with a blank stare on her face and then ask me to take her down to the store. But God, I'm so sick of feeling like constant s**t all the time! The last 3 days I wake up I'm anxious one moment depressed the next, only a few fleeting moments do I feel normal in a day. And also the last few days my stomach has been in knots. Not so much like it hurts but just...

Day 12 and going strong. Actually not much to really post here, my mood has been stable. Still get bouts of feeling restless like last night just out of the blue I felt like i had to get up and do something but there was nothing to do. I've really been getting into my video games again. I use to be a big gamer years ago but it kind of fizzled out as I got older and drank more and at most I would pop in a game, mess around with it for a while then turn it off. But for the last few days I've been...

Finally feeling more human now after that last screw up. I had a few cravings, one day in particular was pretty bad but luckily the Arnold side of my brain spoke up and said "Shut the f!uck up" and they went away. Initially I was pretty spooked because usually after a relapse with so much sober time it's not easy to climb back out and the feelings for drinking are stronger then they were before. But I assume since it was overall a pretty bad and humiliating experience followed up by a...